God Bless America

(Yes, sir! This coming Wednesday, it seems that Jim "The Icon" Daher has been booked against good ol' John Lindsey to decide who's gonna get a shot at the GWA Falconer Title, currently held by Anton Rayge, the guy that made the dumbass move of booting the guys in the BoV out of the BoA. Can The Icon get past John Lindsey and beat Rayge to once again become the GWA Falconer Champion? Only time will tell.)

(The scene opens up with a close-up of an American flag, waving majestically in the breeze. The camera pans out, showing the tall metal pole (and the fact that the flag's at half-mast), then pans over to the left, stopping as a red Corvette comes into view. Leaning against the hood of the 'Vette is the GWA's own Jim "The Icon" Daher, standing with his arms crossed as he looks up at the flag. He stares at it intently for a few moments, then raises an eyebrow at the observing camera. He shows that confident smirk we're most familiar with, then begins to speak.)

Jim "The Icon" Daher: Greetings and salutations to you all once again! It is I, your hero and role model, the one and only Jim "The Icon" Daher, live and in color from directly beneath the flag of the greatest country on the face of this Earth, whether you like it or not, the United States of America! Tonight's subject: John Lindsey, and the fact that I am gonna give his scrawny little redneck ass a far worse beatdown than the one the U.S. is gonna give to Osama Bin Freakin' Laden! Ya know, John-boy, I gotta give you credit. Out of all the sorry cum-swallowers that were in Anton's Brotherhood, you were probably the toughest one in the bunch. That ain't sayin' much, I'll grant you, but hey, it's better than nothin'. Now, that bein' said, let's move on to this coming Insurrection. You, Mr. John Lindsey, will be going one on one with The Icon for a shot at Anton Rayge and the GWA Falconer Championship.

(The Icon chuckles.)

The Icon: Ya know, I'm not sure I like your chances in this one, John-boy. Let's take you. You have done...well, zilch for a really, really long-ass time. I, on the other hand, participated in what was quite possibly the most unexpected move of the year: an alliance between Bad Influence and The Brotherhood of Vengeance. And where's the BoA during all this? Did y'all break up? Or are you all hiding, scared sh*tless of all the people out to get you? In either case, the BoA is DOA. Then we got the BoV. Hell, we're just as strong as ever, evidenced by the fact that we have on our side the biggest and best group of superstars ever assembled. We have Goliath, Doomsday, Doom, Sledgehammer, Bedlam, Sonny Maivia DeVine, Sarah, Heather French, myself, and J.J. You, John-boy, have nothing more than a rusted-out pick-up truck and a shotgun that always has the wrong ammo in it. Do the math, Johnny. When you add it all up, Icon plus you equals you lose, and your new number one contender...is me.

(He chuckles again.)

The Icon: Now, I could be like most people and look right past this match, putting my focus on Anton Rayge and my Falconer Championship, but ya know what? I'm not gonna do that. Ya know why? 'Cause that's how ya lose. One thing at a time, John-boy. For the moment, my focus is entirely on you. Oh, and just in case anyone gets the bright idea to try and screw me outta this thing, just keep in mind that I've got nine super-tough and super-bad people backing me up, whereas you probably only have the support of someone from the GWA's resident J.O.B. Squad. You can probably screw me outta the match, but all you'll get for your efforts will be a ten on one beatdown, courtesy of J.J. Enterprises. Do I think I can win? Yeah, I think I can. Do I think I can become the two-time Falconer Champion? Yeah, I think I can. Do I think you can get over your Pokemon fix and start acting like a grown-up? Well, no, but that's beside the point. The point is, this Wednesday, I, Jim "The Icon" Daher, will be showing you, John Lindsey, why I'm referred to by every intelligent fan as the man, the myth, the legend, the only Falconer that matters, the summation of every man's aspirations, and the object of your girlfriend's masturbation's! I am Jim "The Icon" Daher, John-boy, and you're not. And ya know what that means? Do you know what that means? It means that I will personally drop you with The Icon's Smackdown right in the center of the ring and make that pinfall for the one, the two, and the three. I'll see you in the ring, Johnny, so thank you, and have a nice FRICKIN' day.

(With that, The Icon places a hand on the door, whirls, and hops into his Corvette. The engine roars mightily to life, then The Icon throws it into gear and peels out of the parking lot. The scene slowly fades to black, then to an advertisement about GWA Wednesday Insurrection.)

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