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Date Posted: 23:19:06 09/15/01 Sat
Author: Xtreme
Subject: Dude, wheres my car? Part 2

(The scene opens back up on the streets of Philly where Xtreme and Jake are heading back to Xtremes apartment to talk to Cecil the hobo. While on their way there, Jake continues to question Xtreme about his upcoming matches in the GWA)


Jake: But what about Insurrection, Xtreme? You gotta fight Bedlem, TQ Smooth and some newbie named James Sexton all at once. I don't see how you'll make it out of this one alive.


Xtreme: Oh ye of little faith, Jake. Don't you have any confidence in me? I've already proven myself as master of the 3 way dance? How hard could one more opponent be? If anything it'll be easier.


Jake: Whys that?


Xtreme: Its simple, Jake. There'll be too many men in the ring for everyone to watch at once, and when they feel comfortable, I'll come in and fuck shit up.


Jake: Yeah, you got a point. But what about Bedlam, he's a big dude. Aren't you worried about him?


Xtreme: Worried? HA! Thats a good one, Jake. Why the hell should I be worried? Hes just a big fat bastard, is all. The only hope this guy has of pinning me is if he lands on me. He may be big, buts about all this guy has going for him


Jake: That may be true, but what about TQ Smooth and James Sexton? TQ is pretty good and who knows about this Sexton guy.


Xtreme: First off, TQ Smooth is shit compared to me. I've never even heard of this guy before and quite frankly, I really don't give a shit about him. This guy sounds like a stoner to me, and we all know how much I hate fucking stoners. If theres one thing I have to say to Smooth about Insurrection, is that its gonna be stoner bashing time! But then on the other hand, we have James Sexton. New blood here in the GWA. Some might say that I'm still a new guy around the GWA, but I think I've moved past that label.....far past that label. A couple of weeks ago I might've been new, but now I should be considered regular talent around here and anyone who doesn't think that can cram it. Sexton, if theres one thing I've learned about new guys, and one thing that everyone in GWA should've learned because of me, is that you should expect the unexpected from new people. Everyone in the GWA thought I was some sort of joke, someone who was gonna join, then quit and bitch about how the federation wasn't fair. Everyone thought that I was gonna be a pushover, someone they could take lightly, well I proved everyone in the GWA wrong. I kicked ass all over this fed until I met my match in Chris Carpenter. But now, I'm looking to salvage my good name in the GWA. After I kick Assassin's ass at Pinnacle I'll beat down Bedlam, Smooth, and you Sexton. I might not know anything about you, but I know this about newbies, and thats to expect anything. Because in your first match for a new federation, you want to impress people. And starting off with a lose is no way to impress people....but its something you're going to have to overcome, Sexton. I'm gonna be pissed as hell going into this match, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna give up another loss to someone like you, or Smooth or Bedlam.


Jake: True, true. People thought you were gonna be some lame jobber who wasn't gonna go anywhere, but now look at you. You're 5-1 and you've got two big matches this week.


Xtreme: Damn right, Jake. I silenced all my critics and showed everyone that I'm not full of shit like most people are. I've got all the skills to backup my trash talking and I think I proved every time I've competed in a match thus far. Hell, even though I may not have beaten Carpenter, I gave him one hell of a match. I had him on the ropes a lot, but in the end, he got the better of me, something that most people have yet to do. But make no mistake about it, Jake, any time I lose it just pisses me off more than you can imagine. Assassin will be my first victem this week, followed by TQ Smooth, Bedlam, and James Sexton. They'll all feel the pain and the unmistakable might of Xtreme.


(Xtreme and Jake arrive back at Xtreme's building, but do not go in. Instead, they walk in between his building and the one next to it, to the alleyway behind his apartment building. There, sitting next to a dumpster and holding a flask of liquer, is Cecil the hobo. Cecil smells of alcohol Xtreme and Jake walk up to Cecil, who is singing to himself, but is startled when the two stand in front of his. Xtreme looks down at Cecil, but Cecil tries to avoid making eye contact)


Xtreme: Hey Cecil, how are things in the hobo world?


Cecil the hobo: As good as they'll ever be, Mr. Xtreme. Is there something you two dropped by for?


Xtreme: Actually there is, Cecil. My car has apparently gone missing, and I want to know who took it and where it is.


Cecil: Oh your car...yeah, I heard something about that. But I'm having trouble remembering....


(Xtreme groans and gives a ten dollar bill)


Cecil: Its starting to come back to me...but I'm still a little hazy....


Xtreme: Damnit, Cecil! You better know where my car is.


(Xtreme gives him another ten, and Cecil smiles a toothless smile. He looks up at Xtreme now and says)


Cecil: Yeah, yeah....I heard about what happened to your car. Word around town is Jimmy Hoffa took your car....I also heard he dumped it at the Happy Pup dog food factory.


Xtreme: Goddamnit, Cecil, you're drunk aren't you! Gimme my money back you lazy hobo!


Cecil: Nope. Thats the Gods honest truth, Xtreme. Thats all I heard.


Xtreme: You better be right, Cecil, or I'm coming back for my money.


(Xtreme storms off, grumbling about "that goddamn hobo". The two walk out to the street and hail a cab. Jake looks happy they don't have to walk around anymore. The two get in and Xtreme tells the driver to take them to the dog food factory)


Jake: Thanks for getting the cab, I can't take walking anymore.


Xtreme: Don't thank me, Jake, you're paying for this.


Jake: What?? I don't have the money to pay for this cab ride.


Xtreme: Well its either this, or we're walking.


Jake: You know, I really hate you sometimes.


Xtreme: Heh, I know I'm your hero.


Jake: Yeah, whatever. You just keep thinking that.


Xtreme: I think I will, but you know what I can't get off my mind, Jake?


Jake: Whats that?


Xtreme: How badly the Assassin has it at Pinnacle. I mean, he doesn't really deserve what I'm going to do to him. No wait...he does. He deserves all of it. I'll make an example out him for stealing my name. No one steals my good name and craps all over like these two did. Snoops, I could beat your little pussy ass in a second, so don't even think about interfering in this match. Assassin, how could you do this to me? I try and try to make people respect me, make people fear my name, and then you two come along and make my name look like shit. I don't wanna be associated with you two. I don't like you, Assassin, and I never have. I think you're a god awful wrestler, and a good for nothing piece of shit. I never thought in a million years that someone as lame as you would have the nerve and the gaul to steal my name. I don't deserve to have my good name stolen by you, I really don't. People have been laughing at me lately, and people have been asking me if I'm associated with you two and they've found out the hard way just how pissed about this I really am. I don't want people to think that we are friends, Assassin. I don't have any friends. Hell, even Jake here really isn't my friend.


Jake(A little disillusioned): I'm not?


Xtreme: Nope, not really.


Jake: Then what am I?


Xtreme: More of a drinking buddy.


Jake: Then what about Lost and Minion?


Xtreme: Mutual understanding.


Jake: Well what about that girl you had in your apartment last night that was there when I came over?


Xtreme: Jake, that was a whore. She's not my friend, either.


Jake: Oh wow...this is coming as a shock to me...


Xtreme: It shouldn't really. I mean, I don’t like anyone, especially you Assassin. You steal my name, and think its ok. You and Snoops walk around the GWA, acting like your all big and tough when really you’re nothing but a couple of talentless shits riding the coattales of my fame on my name. That’s right, I’m becoming a big star here in the GWA, and I don’t need you two little fuckholes to be dragging me down because you’re using my name. I really don’t need this shit, you know that? You and Snoops are just a couple of little bitches who want to try and get into the spotlight with my name. But you know something? I’m not having any of it, Assassin. If I have to, I’ll take out Snoops too, but for now you’ll be enough. Once I beat you down, Assassin, Snoops’ll be calling me up and personally apologizing for stealing my name, because he knows I’ll come after him next if I don’t get what I want. And make no mistake about it boys, I will destroy you both. You two know what I can do, and you two know that I can beat the shit out of you without even breaking a sweat. You should never have fucked with me, Assassin. You’ll regret this until the day you die because you’ll never forget the beating I’m gonna give to you. I don’t know what else there is to say to you except that you better be ready to take the biggest ass whipping of your life. Here, stop here.


(The two get to the dog food factory and get out of the cab. Jake pays the cabbie and he drives off. The two walk around the side of the building to the parking lot. Xtreme looks around for his car, but its not there. Xtreme looks furious now and storms over to a door that leads into the factory. An employee who has come out of the door for a cigarette is standing by the door and Xtreme walks over to him and grabs his shirt. The employee, scared as hell, starts shaking)


Xtreme: Wheres my fucking car?


Employee: What?? Who are you? Whats going on!


Xtreme: Cecil told me Jimmy Hoffa stole my car and brought it here.


Employee: Jimmy Hoffa? Didn’t he disappear a long time ago?


Xtreme: Supposedly, but now he has my car and I want it back, damnit!


Employee: Look, I don’t know anything about your car, or Jimmy Hoffa, now please, let me go!


Xtreme: Well if my car isn’t here, where is it!


Jake: Maybe the cops found it?


Xtreme: Nah, they’re too busy eating their jelly doughnuts and not looking for my car. But first, we have to go find Cecil and my money back. Who knows how much booze he’s bought with it by now. Oh yeah, sorry about your shirt.


(Xtreme walks out of the parking lot and back down the street. Jake runs up to him and asks him where he’s going)


Jake: Where are you going?


Xtreme: Back home, we gotta get to Cecil before he spends my money.


Jake: And we’re gonna walk! All the way back!


Xtreme: Well I don’t have anymore, and after that cab ride, I doubt you have enough for another one back. We better going, Jake, move your ass!


(As the scene fades to black, Xtreme and Jake begin to walk back to Xtreme’s apartment. But while they are, many questions are left un-answered. Where is Xtreme’s car? Will he ever get another mug? Has Cecil spent all of Xtreme’s money by now? The only way to find out is to watch the next exciting episode, same Bat time, same Bat channel)

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