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Date Posted: 20:59:14 10/08/01 Mon
Author: Jack Otis feat. Nickthe Game Master
Subject: Some many plugs... But I don't work for Nintendo!

((( This story will take place in the land of hentai and big eyes. The place that made cartoons not so kiddy. The place that made jiggly boobs in cartoons easy to find on the net. Of course, I'm taking about Japan.

The sun hangs high over Tokyo. Not just high, but really high. We're talking right dead above you! Which isn't so bad if you have a lot of hair or at least a good visor or hat. Of course, it won't matter that much in such a huge crowd... and we all know how crowded it can get in the streets of Japan. So many people in such a small nation.Just as always, the citizens of Tokyo, Japan hustle and bustle along the streets and sidewalks. The cars, which are capable of moving over one hundred miles an hour for hours, hardly move faster than an average tortoise as there are just about as many cars as there are people. They move slower than the people as they, all together, lurch rhymatically forward, down the street like a semi dried river of concrete. It's hardly dangerous at all. Jack got across it fine and has made his way through the crowds blindly. He unfolds his map map as much as he can, because it's the only reference as to where he is going.... ah, the wonders of visiting Japan without nothing anything about the language. It is best not to say anything. A wrongly placed "konnichiwa" or a mispronounced "komodo" can really ruin your day. Especially when some delivery boy goes Karate Kid all over your ass without any warning before hand. Jack looks over the map briefly, rubbing his jaw, trying to get rid of the size five foot mark, until the map is closed by people grazing by. Everyone is so polite. He hears "sumimasen" all the time around him as he's bumped into. Jack tucks the map back into his jeans pocket and pushes through the crowd. He hopes he's heading the right way, but it's like a blizzard on top of Mt. Everest. Jack trips over a curb and lands hard on his already swollen jaw. He looks up. He doesn't know what it says, but it's definitely the game store he's been looking for. He pulls himself up stiffly and pushes his way into the store.

It's darker, naturally, but flashy lights dance around the place from big disco ball things on the ceiling and colorful advertisements of the newest Final Fantasy dangle from the ceiling and are attatched to the walls high above. Jack looks over the crowd as best he can. He sees shelves and shelves of consoles and computers and video games. Some Japanese chicks and fans dressed in costumes of different characters. This one guy, dress like Mario is passing out some sort of magazine. You know. All that cool stuff that they never do in America? Yeah, you know. Anyway, Jack is exactly site seeing. He's rich and he can afford to get all the games before they come out in America, so... why not?! Something catches JAck's eye. Something purple and cube-like. Yes! The GameCube! The GC! Jack pushes his way to what he thinks is the back of the line. Jack takes one more look around. The speaker blasting out pop rock is loud and annoying. Jack hates J-Pop....

He looks ahead. Some guy... a familiar guy he knows he's seen before... He isn't Japanese, but he looks American. He has his back turned and is talking to some other kid in Japanese. The guy glances back and notices Jack and turns around. It's Nick The Game Master! Jack thinks... that's what he said right?(See J00 @11 $|_|X0r below on the board) Nick pushes some blonde hair out of his eyes and smiles at Jack. )))

Nick: "Hey, dude! Jack! What's up? Small world."

((( Jack nods. )))

Jack: "Uh... yo. Wait, did I tell you my name?"

((( Nick shrugs, still smiling. )))

Nick: "Plot hole! Big deal!"

((( Nick laughs and Jack does, too, for some reason... )))

Jack: "Um... yeah. Hey... wait, what?!"

((( Nick looks over the crowd. )))

Nick: "You here to get the Game Cube, right?"

((( Jack nods. )))

Jack: "Yeah, that's right."

((( Nick scratches his messy, dirty hair. This reminds Jack of his own greasy thatch and he scratches his hair, too. )))

Nick: "You can speak and read Japanese?"

((( Jack laughs a little. )))

Jack: "Naw - I usually jus' wing it with these Japanese games."

((( Jack snorts he remembers spending thirty minutes on the start screen of some Dragon Ball Z game that was in Japanese. )))

Nick: "Really?! You should learn sometime! It's a lot more fun playin', I know! I spent five years takin' it jus' so I could order games 'n' stuff early and play them before all my friends! I make transalated FAQs and post them on th' net and everything!"

((( Jack raises his eyebrows. )))

Jack: "Wow, you're sort of a nerd."

((( Nick shrugs. )))

Nick: "True - but you are, too. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. You would've waited 'till it caim out in America."

((( Jack shifts his weight. )))

Jack: "True."

((( The music blares on. Jack's ears begin to throb. When will the line move? )))

Jack: "Dammit, I J-Pop!"

((( Nick looks around. )))

Nick: "Really? I sorta like it - but then again, it sorta grows on ya, too. Stay here too long and you won't leave Japan without a visit to the music store, dude."

((( Jack sure hopes not. )))

Jack: "Ah well - not as bad as Euro-Pop, I guess..."

((( Nick finally notices the mark on Jack's face. )))

Nick: "Looks like you took a beatin' last Sunday, dude."

((( Jack brings his hand up to his cheek to check on the wound. It is not a dent any more! It's a welp... )))

Jack: "Um... no. I had a little run in with some delivery boy... long story."

((( Then Jack smiles. )))

Jack: "...but you must not be a very big fan of th' GWA! After all, what kinda fan thinks that everybody's fikken' hero could be hurt by th' likes of those idiots?!-"

"-well, you lost-"

"-everyone knows that Jack Otis is their hero and as their hero he is invincible, win or lose! You see, a loss never gets me down! Unlike Dark Tiger, I bounce back after I lose, I don't get all depressed 'n' shit! Not only will I regain that Maximus Championship, but I'll win th' Gladiator Championship from those two dumbasses and win back my Falconer Championship, whenever that may be... Why? Well, because your hero deserves it and I'm sue Steven Fury knows it. Hell, I'm sure all th' Champions know it! They're all probably beggin' t' give their - correction, my, belts to me and bow down and worship me as their hero! I am the number wrestler... ever!!! And don't you forget that, Nick."

((( Nick narrows his eyes. )))

Nick: "Hmmm. Pretty bold statement for someone who got knocked flat on their face, but hey, whatever you say."

((( Jack whacks Nick on the back of the head. )))

Jack: "Shut up, smart mouth!... Those guys ain't got nothin' on me!"

((( Nick rubs the back of his head. )))

Nick: "Oh yeah? What about Anton Rayge? Or Chris Carpenter? They owned you!"

((( Jack narrows his eyes. )))

Jack: "How dare you talk to your hero in such a way?!?! Anton Rayge? Chris Carpenter? Who are these fools, hmm? Nothin' but bitches. Flat out bitches. My bitches! They are sex slaves to th' mat when they step into th' ring with me! Jus' because they beat me doesn't mean they didn't leave that ring cryin' for their mommies with their panties wet from piss 'n' fear!!! I slapped th' shit outta of them! I ain't gonna say they got lucky, because that's th' sorta shit they'll say when I come back 'n' beat 'em next time, but th' fact is they didn't really win... Why? Because I'm still a winner because I say so! And their still losers because I say so! And why should what I say matter?! Why?!! Because I'm everybody's frikken' hero!!!! That's why!!!"

((( The exictement of a rant rushes through Jack's veins as he draws another breath in. )))

Jack: "First of all, this Anton Rayge fool is nothin'! Abosolutely nothin'! I beat him once after winnin' th' damn belt, so of course he wins th' second time! He doesn't deserve it! And what dpoes he do right after he wins it?! Then he loses it to MArcus Gaines!!! What th' hell?!! I could beat Marcus Gaines with my arms tied, dammit! But then Anton wins it back! Anton, Matrcus, yer not t' play catch with my belt!!! Such disrespect for their hero... it's sickening..."

((( Jack scratches his head. )))

Jack: "And what th' hell was upo with th' matches, anyway?! All we had were crappy-assed nobodies and then a huge-ass brawl sorta thing! The crowd hardly got t' see me! And they musta been all depressed 'n' shit after seein' that loser Ashram Kenji go away with th' Maximus Championship!!! What th' hell is that?!! They deserve more! They deserve better! They deserve their hero, Jack Otis!! And I'll give it to 'em! I'll become Maximus Champion before Kenji can even stain th' damn belt with grammah crackers!!! Not only that, but I'll beat everyone of those undeservin' oafs so badly that they'll readily quit and live on some deserted island for all eternity!!!!"

((( Jack laughs. )))

Jack: "Hell, they should give me th' whole damn federation! I'd make it worth somethin'!!! I'd kick all those bastards out and bring in real competetion... of course I'd beat 'em all down every once in a while t' show them who's boss. But then again, I don't think there really is anyone good enough for that. I don't think there's anyone good enough t' fill those requirements... my requirements. I don't put up with bullshit, I expect good wrestlers. Not these assholes who couldn't wrestle their way out of a one-corridor labyrinth. Y'know what?! I oughta jus' go challenge those new guys jus' t' make sure they don't get too cocky, thinkin' they can beat everybody's hero. Yeah, that's what I'll do! then after that, I'll do some other shit and maybe win all th' Gladie Awards if that thing ever actually happens... Dammit, when's this line ever gonna move?!"

((( Nick looks at the crowd in front of them. )))

Nick: "This isn't a line dude."

((( Jack frowns. )))

Jack: "What?..."

((( Nick rolls his eyes. )))

Nick: "Dude, this isn't a line, this is just a crowd. The lines pretty much disappeared after the first day! I reserved a copy, so I'm goin' up to get it now. You reserve one?"

((( Jack nods. )))

Jack: "Yeah, cool, so no waiting?"

((( They push their way up to the desk where a clerk is waiting. Jack hands his receipt to Nick. [Japanese transalted to English in this brackets]. )))

Nick: "[I'm here to claim two Game Cubes, please.]"

((( The clerk takes them and looks at them. Then she frowns. )))

Clerk: "[Oh, I'm sorry, sire, we're out. You'll have to come back in a month or so.]"

((( Nick scowls. )))

Nick: "[What?! We reserved them! They're not supposed to be out!]"

((( The clerk shrugs. )))

Clerk: "[Sorry, but he had a lot of money.]"

Nick: "[Who'd you sell them to?]

((( The clerk points ouyt the door. )))

Clerk: "[He just left. You can't miss him... he looks weird.]"

Nick: "[You know his name?]"

Clerk: "[Thing from the Deep.]"

Nick: "Wha- Oh nevermind! C'mon Jack!"

((( Nick grabs Jack by the wrist and begins to yank him through the dense crowd. )))

Jack: "Where're we goin'?! What'd he say?!"

((( Nick doesn't say anything, but continues to drag Jack through the crowd and out the door. There they see a guy... or at least something holding two GC boxes. )))

Jack: "What th' hell is that?!"

Nick: "Thing from the Deep!!!"

((( TFTD turns around to look at them. )))

Thing: "What? Who's callin' me?"

((( Thing looks at Jack and Nick. )))

Thing: "Who th' hell are you guys?"

Nick: "The guys you stole th' systems from!"

Thing: "Oh... well... suck to be you!!"

Nick: "GET 'IM!!!!"

((( Jack and Nick push through the crowd after Thing, whatever he may be. Thing jumps across the hoods of the cars and Jack and Nick do the same. Thing jumps onto a fire escape and begins to climb... our heroes(sorta... but Jack is REALLY our hero) do the same.. )))

Jack: "I feel like I'm in some kinda Jacky Chan movie."

((( They get to the roof where they corner Thing. )))

Thing: "Don't come any closer!! I'll jump!!!"

Nick: "Yeah, right! Hand over the GC's, pal!!!"

((( Nick and Jack leap at Thing. )))

Thing: "AAAAH!"

((( Thing throws the boxes at Jack and Nick which completely miss and land on the concrete making a plstic crunch. )))

Everyone in the whole world!!!!: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

((( While Jack and Nick are screaming at the sky, Thing sneaks away. )))

Jack: "What're we gonna do now? That weird got broke both of them! Those two must've been the last in Japan not bought already! There isn't a one left in th' world for us!!"

((( Nick gets up off his knees and pulls Jack up with him. )))

Nick: "Not necessarily... we could get another one! Maybe two!"

((( Jack smiles. )))

Jack: "Really?"

* * *


Jack: "This is a bad idea..."

((( Jack looks up at the looming Nintendo of Japan building. Mario look so intimidating, made out of metal and painted to profection, His fist raised in the air. )))

Jack: "Hmm. Nice statue. Don't they have one of those at Nintendo of America, too?"

((( Nick shrugs. )))

Nick: "Dunno. Maybe. Think so."

((( Jack shakes his head. )))

Jack: "I don't think it's a good idea to break into Nintendo of Japan! Besides, it'll be really hard! all those video game companies have huge amounts of security!"

((( Nick waves a hand at Jack. )))

Nick: "Hey, don't worry! It'll be a piece of cake!"

* * *


"So..."

((( One of the agents paces around Nick and Jack like a hungry tiger. Jack struggles a little trying to find a comfortable position, being bound in the ropes. The bright line shines in both of their eyes, but they can make out the pacing agent. He's a Japanese guy(obviously), wearing one of those secret agents suits and dark glasses. Jack wonders if he can see in the dark room with those things on. The pacing agent accidently bumps into his partner. )))

Agent 1: "Ooops, sorry. Can't see a damn thing with these glasses on."

((( The agent takes the glasses off and then turns to Nick and Jack. )))

Agent 1: "Sooo...."

((( A friendly laugh makes Jack a little less tnese. )))

Agent 1: "Who sent you?!"

((( Jack's heart jumps into his throat. )))

Jack: "Wh-wh-waht?!"

((( The first agent scowls. )))

Agent 1: "You know what I'm talking about! Who sent you? Sony?! One of those dorks from Microsoft?!"

((( The agent holding the light steady laughs. )))

Agent 2: "Yeah right. Anyone from Microsoft would be wearing glasses and a pocket protector.."

((( The first agent, "hmms." )))

Nick: "Look, dude. Nobody sent us! We were just tryin' to see if we could buy a GC from here! Honest."

((( The first agent laughs nastily. )))

Agent 1: "Only a dunder head from Sony would come up with something stupid like that! Take them both and 'dispose' of them."

((( The other agent nods (Jack and Nick can't see this happen, but it does) and begins to drag them both out of the room. )))

Jack: "Ahhh! They're gonna dispose of us!!! What're you gonna do?!"

((( The agent laughs as he drags them down the ice cold corridor. )))

Agent 2: "It's to the tube."

((( The agent drags them into a room and closes a door. It's totally bare except for some red and white poka dotted mushrooms growing in the corner and a huge green pipe that will reach up to Jack's chest if he stands. )))

Nick: "What th-?!"

((( The agent, with incredible strength, lifts up both Jack and Nick along with the chairs. )))

Agent 2: "Sayonara, suckers!"

((( The agent heaves them both into the green pipe. Jack hits his head and loses it. )))

* * *


((( Falling, falling, falling. Down, down, down. Through the dark abyss they both fall. Strangely, a cheery tune plays in the distance, but it gets louder gradually. It sounds, almost... electronic. The cold, ancient air begins to get warmer and warmer still. The feeling of spring's end takes hold of Jack as he sees a light down below him. He's not sure if he's falling or not. There is so much space around him (at east he thinks) it's impossible to tell. But the small, circular light slowly gets bigger... and then bigger still. He can see a green... a green field. A perfect, green field. He begins to get closer and a sudden blast of hot air hits them both as they both leave the hole. Jack loses it again when they hit the ground. )))

* * *


((( Jack regains contiencienceness and sees... )))




((( Jack jumps up. )))

Jack: "Th' hell?!"

((( The thing jumps back as well. )))

...: "The hell?!"

((( Jack shakes Nick, who wakes up. )))

Nick: "Huh?... Ah, man, my head hurts."

Jack: "AAh! Look!"

((( Jack pulls Nick up to his feet. )))

Nick: "Holy shit!"

((( Nick draws back as well. )))

Jack: "What should I do?!"

((( Nick shakes his head in disbelief. )))

Nick: "Uh... JUMP ON IT That's what you do with Shy Guys in the game!!!"

((( The shy guy holds his hands... er... flap thingies over his head. )))

Shy Guy: "Ahh! No please! Don't do that!!!"

((( Jack leaps and lands on it... and it... it sorta... falls through the ground and outta of view. It sort of... falls off the world. )))

Jack: "That was weird..."

((( They both look at each then the world around them. )))

Jack: "Where's that music coming from?"

((( Nick shrugs. )))

Nick: "I dunno.... I don't even know where it's coming... over there!"

((( Nick points over the hills, towards a rather large town. The music seems to be coming from there. )))

Jack: "Dude... the music's coming from there! Let's go!"

((( They both take off towards the town. )))

* * *


((( It's a cheery sort of atmosphere. Supposedly, what you'd expect from a rustic sort of town. The arches of the gates into the East side of the city are made of white marble with a masterfully carved wooden side that reads, "Toad Town" on it. They pass through the arch into the town. Everything and everyone is busy... most of them just sort of undulating to the music, some walking back and forth and moving there mouthes around as if they are talking... the strangest thing is though that they're (well most of them that look human) are wearing mushroom hat type things. All poka dotted (most of them). Some blue, some pink, some red, but mostly pokadotted like some sort of weird mushroom. )))

Jack: "What th' hell s this place? Why is everyone walking back and forth in the same places and jumping up and down?! and where is that music coming from?!"

((( Nick shrugs. )))

Nick: "Dunno, dude. Let's ask somebody..."

((( Nick walks up to a blue clad... guy. )))



Nick: "Um... where are we?"

((( The guy looks up at Nick and smiles. )))

...: "Welcome to Toad Town!"

((( Nick nods slowly. )))

Nick: "Oh, right. These guys are all Toads, too right?"

((( The Toad looks up at Nick and smiles. )))

Some Toad: "Welcome to Toad Town!"

((( Nick frowns. Jack steps up. )))

Jack: "Ummm... where's the music comin' from?"

((( The Toad looks up at Jack and smiles. )))

Some Toad: "Welcome to Toad Town!"

((( Nick and Jack exchange looks, then turn away and start walking down the road. )))

Jack: "Oookay. That was strange."

((( Nick looks around as they walk down the street. All of them... bumping up and down... )))

Nick: "Why is everyone dancing? And why do they say the same things over and over?"

"They're all NPC's, duh."

((( They look down and see.... )))



Jack: "Who th' hell are you?"

((( The Toad looks indignant. )))

Chancellor: "I'm the Chancellor of course! The Lord of this area in the game!"

((( Nick steps forward. )))

Nick: "Were is this music comign from? And what's with all these guys?"

((( The Chancellor frowns. )))

Chancellor: "I told you! They're NPC's! And that music is part of the game..."

((( The Chancellor's voice trails off, then he scowls. )))

Chancellor: "...wait! You don't work for Nintendo do you?! Who sent you?! Sony?! Those nerds from Microsoft?!"

((( Jack and Nick shake their heads. )))

Jack: "No, dude! Honest! We just came to Nintendo of Japan to see if we could buy something and they through us in here!"

((( The Chancellor laughs nastily. )))

Chancellor: "Only one of those dumbasses from Sony would come up with such a lame excuse!"

((( Jack shakes his head. )))

Jack: "No, dude! Really!"

Chancellor: "Bah! Bullshit! Bull shit! Get 'em, guys!"

((( A bucnh of Toads with spears come ouyt of nowhere and move towards Jack and Nick. )))

Jack: "Oh shit! What do we do?!"

((( Nick whacks Jack on the back of the head. )))

Nick: "Kick their asses, dude! You're a pro wrestler!"

Jack: "Oh yeah! Right!"

((( Jack beats the crap out of them. Toads lie all over the street, holding their chins and stomachs groaning. )))

Chancellor: "Aaaah! No wonbder Peach is always getting captured by Bowser! You worthless oafs! You had him out numbered!"

((( Jack steps up to the Chancellor, who shrinks back. )))

Jack: "Now you're out-numbered, pla!"

((( The Chancellor jumps. )))

Chancellor: "Uh.... gotta go!!!"

((( Nick and Jack bolt after the Chancellor, down the busy city streets, cluttered with undulating NPCs. )))

* * *


((( It's a long run from the Eastern gates to where they are now. They began to slow down as they lose sight of the Chancellor. He holds his mushroom hate tightly to his head as he runs off towards a rather grand castle with a stained glass window in the front of a woman in a pink dress. In fact, the entire castle is rather pinkish... and yellowish... As they approach down the paved road, the chirpy music begins to change to a rather more majestic remix of what it was back earlier in the town. The sweet smell of clean air and the sound of flowing water reigns over the area. They stop, heaving, trying desperately to catch their breath. )))

Nick: "Oh... man.... who'd'a thunk that... that a little guy like that.... could move... so fast?.."

(((Jack shakes his head. )))

Jack: "When we find him, I am so gonna.... kick his... ass."

((( Jack stops and takes another look at the palace. )))

Jack: "Gee.... doesn't that place look familiar?"

((( Nick takes a closer a look at the place. )))

Nick: "Yeah... actually it does... wanna go in?"

((( Jack nods, still breathing heavy. )))

Jack: "Yeah, sure, let's go..."

* * *


((( The halls are capreted with rich red rugs and the walls are white as ivory. A smell of expensive perfume hangs in the air as well as some sort of heated argument. Jack and Nick turn the corner into the throne room where the Chancellor, a woman dress in a pinkish dress and two men dressed in red and green stand. The red and green men argue. )))


"I don't care if you have that stupid game staring you, Luigi is gonna be out before-"

((( Luigi interupts. )))

Luigi: "Ah, fuck you, Mario! I still say they should be paying me more! After all, I can jump higher than you and everything! I'm smarter, too!"

((( Mario scowls. )))

Mario: "Ha! Bullshit! You ain't smarter than me!"

((( Luigi laughs smuggly. )))

Luigi: "It's aren't, you stupid asshole!"

((( Mario flips Luigi the bird. )))

Mario: "Awright, smartass, so maybe my English ain't the - isn't the best, but I will still be the mascot! And I bet I can jump higher than you!"

((( Luigi crouches. )))

Luigi: "Oh yeah?! Let's see!"

((( Mario crouches as well. )))

Mario: "Ha ha! After I win, my face'll be on one of those starting pack thingies!"

((( Jack and Nick see a GC box lying by the throne. )))

Luigi: "Let's go!"

((( Luigi and Mario begin to jump and starting shaking the place. )))

.....: "Hey! Stop it! You stupid childish bastards!!!"

((( The princess has been knocked to her feet. Jack and Nick sneak to the throne. Jack picks up the box, but he's noticed by the Chancellor who has been getting support from holdiong onto the throne in the jumping contest. )))

Chancellor: "It's them! Get 'em, boys!!!!"

((( No one rushes to the aid of the Chancellor. The Chancellor look saround. The princess still continues to scream at the brothers who jump up and down, shaking the very founddation of the castle. )))

Jack: "Wait, Nick! I wanna do somethin' before we go!"

* * *


((( The sun begins to set as they plod back towards the pipe they fell down. The castle still shakes... a p[oint fall soff of it and crashes into the moat. They stop at the pipe and look back. )))

Nick: "How the hell did you fit his entire hat in his ass, dude?"

((( Jack smiles. )))

Jack: "Same reason I'm everyone's hero, dude. C'mon, let's go."

((( Jack and Nick walk under the pipe and take a leap... some special anti-video-game-gravity thing pulls them up through the pipe. I dunno. )))

* * *


((( The scene opens in a dim, dusty old theater. It's a small jazz club joint, you know? Jack walks out onto the old stage, leaving foot prints in the dust. He looks at the camera and takes out a mic from his pants pocket. He grins. )))

Jack: "Instead of tellin' all of you how I'm gonna kick Jim Daher's and Anton Rauyge's asses on Wednesday, I'm gonna tell you in a freestyle!"

((( Jack clears his, throat, takes a deep breath and begins... )))

"Jack doesn't like the Falconer Champion to be a queer so-
Now the belt's gonna have to be worn by everybody's hero!
Anton Rayge ain't shit to me!
I can beat him both physcially and lyrically!
I did it before and Imma do it again
Anton's reign as lightweight champ will come to an end
When Jack's on the mic, this shit is outta sight
Anton Rayge would rather run and wet his pants then fight
He can't think of a good move, so he names it after a shitty anime
I'm talkin 'bout you Anton, so hear what I say
How can you win? I don't really know
But you ain't gonna anyway, but there is a point, though
You're gonna learn, once and for all, that you can't win shit no matter how tall
Anton, you're about as hard as an old man's dick, it makes me sick
That a such a sucky wrestler as yourself climbed the ladder so quick!
After I knock Daher on his ass, it's me and you
It doesn't matter what you do, you can bring your crew if you want to
It won't matter and it can't, how much you rant
These are the last I'm sayin about you, Anton
You couldn't beat a stripper even if you had a paddle on"


((( Jack pauses, then starts up again. )))

"Emcee Jack Otis is at it again
Freestylin and shit, just to pretend
That he even gives a fuck about what Jim Daher's thinkin
I'm on the rise, Jim, and you're just sinkin
You probably cryin and baulin and thinkin
Why th' hell did I mess with Jack?
I can't wrestle for shit and my freestylin's wack!
Sure, I've beaten Jack before
But to to tell the truth, I ain't really that hardcore
I just got lucky and I know the fans find me a bore
I really suck, I know this to be true
I'd better have my crew... to back me up so I can beat you
Now, now, now, Jim don't you fret
You can run away and we'll all just forget
We'll forget that you ever existed and call it even
Except the fact that I beat your ugly face even
Jim, you ca't win, this is the truth
Make sure the dentist, after the match, checks on your one tooth!"


((( Jack crosses his arms and smiles. )))

Jack: "This is yer frikken' hero! Jack the emcee is outta here!"

((( Jack jumps off the stage as the scene fades into darkness. )))

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