VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 21:44:01 09/16/01 Sun
Author: Xtreme
Subject: Dude, wheres my car? Part 3 of 3

(The scene opens back up on the streets of Philly, where Xtreme and Jake are walking back to Xtreme's apartment building. They are farther a long then they were before, but still not at Xtreme's apartment yet. Xtreme is walking fast while Jake looks tired and lags behind. Xtreme stops and looks behind him to see that Jake is lagging farther and farther behind. He stares at Jake, and then yells to him)


Xtreme: Move your lazy ass, Jake. Its not that much farther.


Jake: Damnit, Xtreme, we've been walking for hours!


Xtreme: Jake...its been twenty minutes.


(Jake stops bitching, and his eyes dart back and forth. He holds up his hand and opens his mouth as if to say something but just stops and closes his mouth. He runs to catch up to Xtreme and the two start to walk again)


Jake: What're we gonna do when we get back to your apartment?


Xtreme: Well first off, we're gonna get my money back from Cecil, then we go up to my apartment and clean up the glass, if its still there. Then we find out where the hell my car is, and once we find my car is, we'll go down to Mugs 'R' Us and get me a new mug.


Jake: All that? Its almost dinner time!


Xtreme: No Jake, no dinner. Not until we at least find my car.


Jake: What the hell, Xtreme....sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with you.


Xtreme: Because you're stupid...I mean....look over there, a big distracting thing!


Jake: What? Where!


Xtreme: Oh wait no...it was just a little distracting thing.


Jake: Well now....thats different. Well after we find your car, can we get dinner?


Xtreme: Yeah, sure, why not. But first I have a couple matters to attend to...such as the little bitches I have to contend with on Wednesday. Bitch number one goes by the name James Sexton. He's the new guy around here, but he must think he's better than me or something. I mean, if he didn't think that, he would've shown his sorry ass already. Either that, or he is just scared of me. Is that it, James? Are you scared of me? Well, you should be. Since you haven't been in the GWA very long, I bet you haven't heard about how badly I beat Sledgehammer at the pay per view. My first GWA pay per view experiance ever, and I show the world how great I am at kicking ass. And thats exactly what I did, kick a lot of ass. I bet you could have your first GWA showing go the same way....too bad you won't though. If you think for a second that I'm gonna give up a win to a little punk like you, you got another thing coming. I don't plan on losing this match, or any other match for a long time. I hope you weren't planning on launching a career from this match, Sexton. Because if you were, I'd recommend you wait until next week. I lost my match last Wednesday, but this week, I will not be denied. But then, after James, we have Bedlam. "The Big Deal" as he refers to himself. The only "Big Deal" about you Bedlam, is your cholesterol level. 500 plus pounds, are you kidding me? That can't be healthy, even for a man your height. But that massive amount of weight can only lead to one other thing, Bedlam, massive amounts of slowness from you. I mean, I've seen big guys before, but you take the cake. I'm surprised you don't get winded walking down the ramp to the ring, let alone be able to fight me. Look at me, Bedlam, I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm 250 pounds of girlfriend stealing, love machine, muscle. As my old wrestling coach used to tell me "Beat them so bad you steal their girlfriend, and make their momma cry.". Hell, thats the motta I've lived by my entire life. Either that or "If its brown, drink it down. If its black, send it back.". But seriously, Bedlam, you can't stand there and tell me you're in good shape. Because if you're in good shape, my names Jack Mehoff....and it isn't. Look at you Bedlam, you're a 505 pound man whose only reason for getting into this business is that you're bigger than everyone else. Hell, its easy to be successful and not have talent, look at Eminem for example. You're as bad an influence on kids as he is. Not because you curse like a sailor, but because you make kids think they can be famous and never know what talent is. But fear not, after Wednesday the kids will have a new role model to look up to. Thats right, me. The hard working man who takes his licks and doesn't cry like a little girl with a skinned knee. You just wait, Tub Of Fun, you'll see what real talent looks like....and it sure as hell don't look like you. But while we're on the subject of talent, this brings me to my last opponent, the infamous TQ Smooth. Well maybe not infamous...more like "Hey look, its TQ Smooth". Smooth, some men around the GWA command respect. Our champion, Johhny Storm, commands respect. Lost Worlds, our Maximus champion, commands respect. But you....you command the respect of a couple kids down at the corner store. You're nothing, Smooth, nothing at all. You'll be lucky if I don't kick your hemp smoking, dred locked ass back to Jamaica on Wednesday. You probably think you're the best damn thing to ever happen to wrestling, don't you? I've seen your type before...hell I've seen them here in the GWA. You can't lose because you're the best ever, right? Well I got news for you, sucker, the best in this match is me. Everyone has to lose sometime, and your time is on Wednesday, along with Sexton and Bedlam. Nothing you can do will stop me from the pain I put you through....listen to that, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it, Jake. But besides being multi-talented, I'm also an equal oppurtunity ass kicker. I won't hestitate to smack you across the face as soon as you get that ring, Smooth. People like you really piss me off. I grew up with people like you, thinking you're better than everyone else, but for what reason? Thats right, you have no good reason, do you? You coast through life putting others down to make yourself feel better, well I'm sick of it. People like you make me want to vomit with rage. You'll get whats coming to you, Smooth, you just wait. I'm gonna take out all my years of pent up aggression on you. You'll learn all the pain I went through when I was young...and you can bet your ass its more pain than you could ever imagine!


(Jake, stares at Xtreme, almost frightened now. The two finish the walk to Xtreme's apartment in silence. When they get to the alley way behind his building, they see Cecil is not in his usual spot near the dumpster, but is trying to run down the alley. Well, all those years of being a hobo are working against Cecil, because hes running at the blistering pace of a 6 year old with a broken leg. Xtreme walks briskly and catches up to Cecil, who is running with all he's got. Xtreme taps Cecil on the shoulder and Cecil stops and turns around)


Cecil: Oh...hello Xtreme. I didn't see you coming....


Xtreme: Cecil, you know I don't like when people lie to me...(Xtreme cracks his kuckles)


Cecil: I'm sorry, Xtreme! Really I am! What can I do to make it up to you...please don't hurt me!


Xtreme: Just give me my twenty dollars back, and I'll forget about the whole thing.


Cecil: Your money? Sure! I got it....its somewhere around here....


Xtreme: You didn't....spend it? Did you Cecil?


Cecil: No! I didn't....its here...give me a second...


(Cecil searches through his rags and tattered clothing until he finds both crumpled bills. He hands the bills to Xtreme, and Xtreme smiles. He lets go of Cecil's shoulder and Cecil smiles too, and walks away. Xtreme turns to walk to the front of his building and Jake follows)


Xtreme: One down...two to go. All I need it my car and a new mug.


Jake: And dinner!


Xtreme: Shut up, Jake.


(Xtreme and Jake walk into the building and up the stairs. Xtreme unlocks his door, and turns on the lights. He looks in his kitchen and sees the glass is still there, only now its stuck in the beer that was in the mug because since no one cleaned it up for hours it got all sticky...but anyway, Xtreme looks at the mess and shakes his head as if he believed it would be gone when he got back. Jake walks over to his answering machine and sees that there is a message)


Jake: Hey Xtreme, you got a message.


Xtreme: Really, its probably Lost and Minion. Lord only knows what they want.


Jake: Can I play it?


Xtreme: Sure, knock yourself out.


(Jake presses the play message and the cops voice who was behind the desk. Jake looks at Xtreme as if to say "I told you so", but Xtreme shoots back a look that says "Shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear it". The two listen intently to the message)


Cop: Hello, I'm calling from the Philadelphia Police Department. We got a report of a stolen car earlier today, but when we investigated, we discovered that your car was in the parking garage of your building, sir. Please, do not bother us again with your missing car reports. Have a nice day.


Xtreme: What the hell....theres a parking garage in my building?!? When was someone gonna tell me this? Did you know this Jake?


Jake: Damnit, Xtreme, I don't drive!


(Xtreme stares at Jake for a second, and the backhands him across the face)


Xtreme: Don't talk to me like that again. Come on, help me find this supposed parking garage.


(The two walk down to the first floor and look around in the lobby. To the right of him is the door to the outside, but to the left of him is a door with a big sign over it that says "PARKING GARAGE". Xtreme stares at it for a moment then says)


Xtreme: I fail to see how I missed that before. Come on, Jake.


(The two walk into the door and down a flight of stairs into the garage level. Xtreme looks around for a minute, and then squeals with delight)


Xtreme: Oooo! My car! My car, I've found you! Come on, Jake, its time to go get some dinner and buy me a new mug.


Jake: Quite a day we had, eh?


Xtreme: To say the least. Lets go eat Jake....oh but before I got one more thing needs to be said.


Jake: Whats that?


Xtreme: XTREME HAS FINALLY SPOKEN.


Jake: Damn straight.


(Xtreme runs over and jumps on the hood of his red Plymouth Horizon. He kisses the hood, and then wipes his mouth off and spits on the ground. He pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the doors. He motions to Jake to come over and get into his car. So ends Xtremes quest to find his stolen car. But what kind of mug did he get, you ask? A nice, pretty one. Now stop being so nosey, damnit)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.