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Bird Nest List - by Bob
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Date Posted: 07:25:55 06/08/04 Tue
Author Host/IP: 190-185-adsl.dial-pool.digitelone.com/202.138.185.190
Avoiding the ‘Unhappiness’ Trap
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We keep comparing ourselves to others. Not just others but
those others we think have more are more respected, loved
and admired than we are.
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Why are we so unhappy at times? What is it that causes us
so much emotional pain? Even those who live in the most exclusive
subdivisions have the same problem with happiness. It seems
to come and then go, and then come back again.
There is no such thing as continuous, uninterrupted happiness.
This is why we say that life is a series of ups and downs.
Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. Sometimes
we are very happy. Sometimes we are less happy and other times
we are downright unhappy. What is it that makes us so miserable?
Not what happens to us, because often wonderful things happen
to us and we still remain unhappy.
Take the multimillionaire, for example. He makes a big business
deal and earns 5 million. He’s unhappy because, for him, 5 million
is peanuts. He was expecting to make 15 million. Just about all
of us would be ecstatic to earn 5 million, but not him. In fact, he
might not want other equally wealthy businessmen to know about
his profit because they might laugh at him. He’s unhappy because
he compares himself to the more wealthy competitors. If he were
the only millionaire in the world, he would not feel bad at all.
But he isn’t, and that is what makes him unhappy.
It is also what makes us unhappy. We keep comparing ourselves
to others. Not just others but those others we think have more are
more respected, loved and admired than we are. Take a reasonably
happy couple. Put them in a room full of separated persons.
The couple feel very good about themselves, very fortunate and very
happy. But then, put them in the same room with couples who are
madly in love and see what happens. Now this same couple feels
bad (unhappy) because they compare themselves to those who
love each other more. They forget about the masses of people
who are separated and miserable. Instead, they focus on those
they perceive to be ahead of them in luck, love and happiness.
It is this bad habit that we have that gets in the way of us
maintaining that steady feeling of happiness. We keep comparing
ourselves to those we think are better off than we are. Even if we
inherit 10 million, we will move into another, higher level as far as
our financial standing is concerned. But then, we will compare
ourselves once again to those who have so much more than we do.
Even if they are a minority compared to those who stand behind us,
we will look at them and compare. Of course we will feel envious
and unhappy.
I try not to get into such a trap. Instead, I keep my focus on
what I have rather than on what I don’t have. I wake up each day
feeling good that I’m alive. Even if my back is always painful,
I’m still alive and that is the greatest blessing. I may not be a
taipan, but I live well compared to the millions all over the world
who go to bed hungry.
My life could of course be better and I’m working to make it so,
but in the meantime, I focus on my blessings and compare myself
to those who are more unfortunate. That keeps reminding me
about how lucky I am to be what and who I am.
Posted in the Regine Velasquez 'Bird Nest' mailing list.
Moderated by mmJun -
Philippines Music Inside Buzz
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