| Subject: Re: I never touched no Owl guv, honest! |
Author:
Tasha
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Date Posted: 08:28:43 12/04/01 Tue
In reply to:
the defendant
's message, "I never touched no Owl guv, honest!" on 05:29:08 12/04/01 Tue
>I am actualy innocent, as I am, yet, to actualy,
>purchase - touch or theive an. Owl.I am however
>guilty, of, : putting unessecary punctuation in my,
>defence.The owl feathers were batantly planted in my
>winter long johns and the 'clawmarks' around my groin
>were actually from a broken glass that I have been
>seeing on the sly.I rest my case.
>
>How the fuck was the Pub quiz empire beaten in to
>third place again? We put on a fantastic performance
>last night!
>Next time gadget.
>
>you aint got nothing on me piggy.
>
>Jon.
I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT NEWS ON THE BASIS OF JONS OWL OBSESSION...
On the cold night of november 8th I was dog walking in the park when I heard a "shshshshshs" in the bushes. I decided to investigate, but I didn't want to alarm my dog so I took it home and grabbed a torch.
When I returned to the bushes the noise had stopped. I decided to have a closer look inside the bush: i found nothing.
Curiously, I climbed out of the bush, where I snagged my jumper. Suddenly, I heard a bone-crunching noise, and the desperate screams of a small mammal. Frightened I ran back to my house.
Later that night I was getting ready to have a shower. When I noticed that there was twig and leaves stuck to my jumper, they must have come from when I snagged it. So I quickly ran to my lab, where I did various tests on the two items.
After weeks of intensive, around the clock analysis we finally got our first result. We just needed something to compare our findings with. I knew what I had to do. So last monday I appealed for a warrant to enter Jon's house from the police. They gave it me, and I was ready to do what I had to do: break in.
I climbed through the window and quickly took a blood sample from Jon's left arm (take a look if you don't believe me). Once I got back to the lab more research took place. The results came through today...
...Jon is an owl muncher. (HOM: human-owl-muncher)
I always had my suspicions. In all my years of hearing horrific tales of the human-owl-muncher, what i have feared the most has now come true.
Anyone who want to know more about HOM please leave a message on the board and I'll get back to you the best I can.
Tash x x x
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