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Date Posted: 19:17:55 10/16/04 Sat
Author: veggieburger
Author Host/IP: s89641-2.savvis-internet.uslsan3-bsn.savvis.net / 209.223.191.18
Subject: A little Halloween Ficlet: The Green Ones

TITLE: The Green Ones
AUTHOR: Veggieburger veggieb_2003@yahoo.com
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: No pairing. Lorne/Other interaction.
SUMMARY: A mischievous trick-or-treater leaves some Green M&Ms at Caritas.
DISTRIBUTION: Yahoo boards sunnydalewriters, andyhallet013,
btvs_and_ats_fanfiction, Angel Revamped, others;
also posted on a special Halloween page at the ReVamped and ReNewed site (next week)
DISCLAIMER: Joss blah blah blah. You know the drill.
FEEDBACK: Sure!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
CHALLENGES ANSWERED: Halloween Challenge @ btvs_and_ats_fanfiction:
"Write a fic with Lorne set during Halloween."
_______________________________________________________

The Green Ones by veggieburger


"I bet it's Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy," Lorne thought as he wiped the countertop.

"Just like that Sheryl Crow song." And sure enough, the drunk Furby-demon was lighting matches and dropping them on the counter. Lorne was all pro - the smile never faded even though he would've loved to choke the lout.

"Hey, friend, if you're not smokin', I'd rather you put the matches away." Lorne snagged 'em, dropped 'em behind the counter. The Furby was the only patron in the bar at the moment. Halloween was always a slow night.

"I...*hic* ...hate Halloween...*hic*" said the Furby. "Buncha human wannabe demons dressin' up and thinkin' they got a dark side. I'll...*hic*... give 'em a dark ...*hic*...side!"

Lorne didn't exactly love human holidays either, but for a completely different reason. Valentine's Day, Christmas, Easter, even Halloween...everybody getting together, having fun, enjoying each other's company, sometimes even finding a little romance. Lorne was
usually all alone on those days, unless someone named Bill or Mac or Buddy came into the bar.

The bored Furby spun around on his bar stool, making Lorne feel dizzy and irritated. Just stop it! And then a small person entering the bar distracted Lorne's attention.

"You'd better be a Weechuk demon or I'll have to ask you to leave," Lorne warned. Weechuk demons were just that - wee. They looked like human children and they were mostly harmless except for their notorious pranks. Halloween was their favorite night. You were just as likely to get punked by a Weechuk as by your neighbor's 13 year old. This one was wearing a cheap drugstore Halloween costume and mask - hard to tell. Kid or Weechuk, your call.

"Trick or treat!" it yelled.

"Well, muchacho. All I got is pretzels and beer nuts."

"Is that all? That sucks! Ah, that's okay. Hey, I got something for you." The little one reached into his Trick or Treat bag and handed Lorne a large bag of M&Ms.

"Well, thank you, little hombre! That's very nice of you!" Lorne dumped them into a bowl and set them on the counter. The little one grinned.

"Yeah. Enjoy. Just remember what they say about the green ones."

The Furby demon stopped spinning. "What do they say about the green ones?"

The little one might've answered but another customer came in the bar. Busy for a human holiday! Lorne had never seen this demon before. He seemed kinda sweet and nervous, a little fumbling. A real...

"Dork," muttered the Furby demon as he eyeballed the new customer.

"Shhh." Lorne admonished. "Have a seat, my friend! I'll even buy the first one. Your name is...?"

"Clem," the nervous demon answered. "Um, a beer would be great. You, uh, wouldn't have any kittens, would you?"

"No live food in the bar, I'm afraid," Lorne laughed as he drew a beer. "Takes a special license." He offered the M&Ms to his new guest. "But I have chocolate."

Clem happily took a handful and playfully popped them up and into his mouth like popcorn.

Great, I've got Mr. Sullen and Mr. Playful tonight. The Furby demon was bored enough to pop a few himself. Lorne absent-mindedly took a couple of M&Ms too.

"They're all green," Clem noted.

They were? Hey, they were! What was it about the green ones? Some human urban legend.

Lorne turned away to stack some bottles and when he turned back, there were two humans sitting at the bar! Or so it seemed. The Furby demon looked kind of like Drew Carey on a bender. The demon with the flappy skin looked...

"Adorable."

"Huh?" is what the not-so-flappy-anymore demon replied.

"Uh, um, I was just thinking how the ladies would find you just adorable. You know, with the whole Sharpei Puppy thing going. Man, you'd never get out of Beverly Hills alive."

The naïve demon grinned with the sweetness of a ...well, puppy. "Thanks!"

...*hic*... the Furby demon added.

It dawned on Lorne he'd just been punked. Trick or Treat! He turned and caught his reflection in the mirror. He was absolutely...

"Bootilicious," Clem said. "What?" was Lorne's stunned reply.

"I was just thinking the ladies in Beverly Hills would find you..."

Buddy (yes, the Furby demon was actually named Buddy) snorted into his beer. "Yeah, those red horns really turn the ladies on. Presuming it's ladies."

"Is it ladies?" Clem asked.

Lorne wasn't sure if he was more irritated or embarrassed. "Look. I'm a demon. Gender is the least of my dating issues. Like it would matter." Then Lorne gasped as he realized how the three of them looked.

"This is fabulous!" Lorne exclaimed. "This is great! We can go out and have fun! We're the Three Amigos!"

Buddy the Furby demon slumped face-down on the bar and passed out.

"...okay, we're Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra in On The Town! C'mon, Clem, let's lock up and paint this town red!"

*****

It was nearly dawn when a laughing Clem and Lorne returned to Caritas.

"That was so much fun!" Clem said. "You must've gotten kissed a thousand times! And I got my ass grabbed!"

Lorne was impressed. "Boy or girl?"

Clem grabbed Lorne by the shoulders. "Does it matter? I got my ass grabbed!!!"

They fell into another fit of laughter, Clem still holding Lorne's shoulders. Lorne looked up at the skyline and said, "The magic will wear off at dawn. Pity." Sure enough, within minutes there stood a flappy-skinned demon and his green new friend.

Clem wasn't about to let the happiness dim. "Let's do this again next year!"

Lorne smiled. "You'll come back next year?"

Clem gave Lorne a peck on the cheek.

"Of course I'll come back! After all, you know what they say about the green ones!"

END

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Replies:

[> And more Halloween fun at ReVamped and ReNewed -- veggie, 20:59:25 10/24/04 Sun (ip68-108-158-85.lv.lv.cox.net/68.108.158.85)

I hosted a ficlet challenge on our Yahoo boad for "Lorne and Halloween" stories and created a special "weblet" featuring the Halloween ficlets, Halloween tips and treats, and other fun stuff. If you'd like to check it out, drop by at:

Halloween Fun at ARV/ARN website


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