WARNING: chock full of evilness -- Sweeping Hills

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Date Posted: 12:33:09 12/16/02 Mon
Author: bitter
Subject: WARNING: chock full of evilness

My name is Jack@rse. I am a retaded unicorn. I like to play alto saxophone but I suck at it. I annoy my band teacher and I like to molest people weaker or nicer than me. I am very "small"... blush... but i still have fun... by myself. I am attracted by one female that is too good for me... she alwaise disses on me but i llove her very much. Even though she tells me, "I Hate YOu! We are NOT together" I know she still loves me. Right now, me and this mare named "Wall' are having a very fun time together. She has the brain of a nut but that's ok. Let's just say... it's fun. o yea. I like to gallop in pansy fields and the catnip. The kitties are also fun to play with.... They all have big butts.. and i can't lie... I like it. I really can't deny it and neither can all you single unicorns out there. You all get... "sprung". *boing* oops. there i go. I am also racist against all other unicorns that are not gangrene colored with magenta polka dots with diarrhea dyed mane and tail like me. My wonderfully chiseled face is envied throughout the lands. Although my imaginary unicorn friend, "BootHole", says it looks like a blown out jack - o - lantern that has been blown out and carved by a blind, trapest monk. I think that's a compliment. Matter of fact, thaqt's the best one I've heard in my 3 centuries of existence. Now for some of my background. My father was a rabid centaur and my mom was a lesbian paint mare. I think she was the mother of "Wall". =) Anywaise, I was born in the middle of the ocean. How did a unicorn get there? My mom tried to have an abortion. It didn't work. Maybe that's why my "little" friend is so small... The other unicorns' friends are bigger. I checked when they were peeing. anyways, i'll continue with my narration later. "Wall" is getting impatient.

by Roxanne

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Replies:

er. . . -- O_o, 12:36:12 12/16/02 Mon
- OOC:... -- What the who haw?, 13:10:53 12/16/02 Mon
  - Thanks but no thanks -- Sanctum, 15:22:50 12/16/02 Mon