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Date Posted: 20:26:05 11/01/02 Fri
Author: THE LORAX
Subject: Re: Questionnaire?
In reply to: betty 's message, "Questionnaire?" on 10:51:45 10/31/02 Thu


>1. Describe why you think you are a fan of Will
>Oldham's music.
>2. What emotions does his music create in you while
>you're listening? Please give examples of songs and
>emotions.
>3. Name 5 other artists you are a fan of.
>
>Thank you so much yet again.

Okay here goes. Let me start by thanking you for asking. I love questions like this.
If you don't mind I will start off with some background on myself so that you might get an idea of who I am as a person. (i will leave alot of details out so that this is'nt a novel)

I have grown up in a fairly wealthy family. I was a fat kid, who was forced into playing football (the american version)in the 3rd grade. My grandpa wanted a football hero for a grandson. I always felt ostracized by others due to my weight. I learned to be a loner early on. I always hated football. Too many of what I called "jockulin" (new word) boys. I learned how to be an asshole through the frienships I had through the sport.

I was a gentle child. The coaches told me I was not mean enough and I eventually quit after 6 years of playing. I was never the proper school boy. I was considered a punk rocker with my tall, colored mohawk. Later down the road I got into drugs. I felt that the war on drug propaganda had lied to me after the first time I had smoked marijuana. I started to wonder about what else I had been tricked into believing. I found the Grateful Dead, which had an almost cult following. Through that community I learned to accept myself for who I was. I also became very skeptical of the mainstream ways of thinking. (eventually lost the mohawk)

I stopped eating meat and learned to treat my body in a more respectful manner. I became what I always had been deep down inside. I had always been a very artistic kid. I dove into my art. I felt liberated through expression. Life had finally found me and the beauty of it was breath taking. When Jerry Garcia (Grateful Deads main man)died in 1995 I sunk into a depression that I was unaware of. A "friend" of mine was shooting up heroin and was always trying to get me to join him. I eventually did.

Six months later I found myself in a realm that I could not escape. I turned into my anti-self. I did not want to be that which I had become. My families wealth sent me to numerous clinics to get "help". Where yet another group tried to conform me. They were mystified at the reasons why I was where I was. My answer to their question of what is so wrong in your life was: pollution, the destruction of the environment, animal cruelty, classism, lack of community where I can be myself, overpopulation, the extinction of indigenous peoples, feeling helpless to do anything about any of it, etc. etc.

They looked at me like I was the "low class drug addict misfit weirdo" that I was. Sorry buddy we can't help you there. My girlfriend had known me before I started using and she has stuck by me off and on till this day. I feel that she is one of the only people who has ever understood me. We roamed around the country a bit and had crazy good times together. All good/bad memories now. The music of Marilyn Manson helped me to finally end that period of my life. While touring with Widespread Panic solidified my independence from the drug. My parents divorced as I was getting clean.

With Widespread Panic as well as the Grateful Dead I was always able to support myself financially to continue staying on the road and seeing these bands. Selling food, water, clothes, whatever was available to make the necessary cash. There was always a large parking lot scene that supported this lifestyle. I was turned on to Palace in 1997 or 98. I immediately identified with Wills music.

This music seemed to, in ways, define aspects of my life. Wills music seems to have much in common with my: I am gonna be myself in this life no matter what attitude. I hear my memories from the past in his music. Looking back on the dark years of my existence I often wish I would have taken some pictures of myself at my worst. The agony and suffering of withdraw from a large habit was priceless. A picture worth a million words. My art from this period is so interesting to me now and I have come out the other side of hell with new insights to express.

I can grasp the concept of form alot better than I ever could before. I learned so much through that experience. I often feel that wills music is a definition of those times expressed in music. Not all of his music though but some of it definitely. So now I will get to the questions.

1. I think I am a fan of Wills music because it seems real. It seems familiar. It fits my personality in some way. Where you going riding boy all dressed up an with that look of joy (riding), the dust is a must, so is doubting my trust, so is acting haphazardly (all gone), you had thought that you could waste away, you don't care much for yourself, there are circles deep beneath your eyes, why do you do this to yourself (gulf shores). I always thought of the word horse in wills music as a metaphor for heroin. A personal interpretation opposed to the actual expression.

His music makes me feel that it is alright that I was who I was and am who I am. Helps me celebrate my life with it's good parts and bad. I am a fan of Wills music through my own personal interpretation of it. It says to me that it is o.k. to feel however I feel on any particular day at any particular moment. It sounds like some of the theme music to my life. I appreciate that he does what he does. I like how his music does'nt censor itself. Leaves it up to the listener to figure it all out through the entanglement of metaphors. I am a big fan of metaphors. His music seems to fit with the droning noises in my head. Puts me at ease with my own expressions.

What can I say the music fits me like a favorite shirt or pair of pants (you know, the one's that you never want to throw away) well worn. I think I could write for days about that question but I am thinking that you may get my point.

2. I don't have all of Wills music so I will write about what I have available.
This will be long.

-Little Boy Blue 1- (live from the mp3 archive) 2001-09-28 last song. Is this song about me ? I have been listening to this song alot lately. I think it is a cover. This song makes me feel all warm inside, sentimental warmth. I have always felt like a little boy all my life. Raised more so by my mother, I lean towards the feminine. This song makes me think of my relationship with my girlfriend. When I was doing dope we had problems and this tune hits so many nails on the head for me. "so open up your heart and let me come in, I've got no hair on my chinney chin chin, you know I love you and I won't hurt you, I'm not the big bad wolf, I'm just little boy blue" / "well you won't let me in so I sneak away, & if you ever need me I'll be asleep in the hay".

-Gulf Shores- Is this song about me and my girlfriend ?
I think of our travels together and the hell of my addiction. Scurrying around to get me well. The word blue is also another word that has a profound meaning for me & my g/f. My Mayan rainbow name is Blue Cosmic Night. Hers is Blue Rythmic Storm. These are names you find on the Mayan calendar and do some mathmatics to find out your Mayan rainbow name (the Mayans from central america). I don't want to quote this whole song. The whole thing defines our past times. The words could be coming from both of our perspectives.

-West Palm Beach- My favorite. I have relatives in Florida. My brother went to school in Fl. to be a cinematographer (how ironic). My grandmother lives just down the road and she often makes us supper, she is from Japan. "he's still a fine kid, what with all that he did, he's a fan of mine" (thanks for noticing Will). "I was'nt planning to spend so long in town" = makes me remember getting stuck in unfamiliar places due to my habit or town being a metaphor for my habit. "and you can see it in her eyes, she was born unwise, she was born for me" & "I can see it in his shoes, he was born to lose, he was born for me" speak for themselves. This whole song once again says it all. A reflection of my own life. "the surf has swallowed him up, he's a memory now" my former self, then and now.

-O How I enjoy The Light- "I will love you forever" the happy side to my relationship w/ my g/f. this song is birth and rebirth to me. "the palace walls are strewn with tapastries, and the window panes are splintered and shattered, with a crumbled dog on every landing, and every stranger cowers" the falling apart of a family. My families house began to become cluttered with abandonment as the dog's starved for attention.

-Horses- I would be doing heroin if they let me "I'd be riding horses if they let me". On the lighter side with an optimistic bend this song makes me think of my desire for freedom. It makes me feel like I am not alone in some of my feelings. it makes me think of my feelings about the world in general. A clash between right and wrong. I would be myself if they let me, angel(vs.) devil with the poor boy sinking in the stream of it all. courtroom, sad eyes, wrong side of the track....which side do you choose ? horses, hoops of flame, won't kick, won't scream...animal cruelty ? while the poor boy sinks unable to do a thing. on my own, world keeps turning, frightened ppl hiding in their homes.....freedom of expression, scared to speak out, while I walk alone as the poor boy.

-Stable Will- "horse that waits for riders death". I killed my habit by killing my horse. It took a stable will to do so. "upon my horses ears the crown is hung" the highest order (kings crown) was placed upon my habit. This song makes me rejoyce. I think it soumds as clunky as the pain of withdraw. Whines and shreiks.

-No More Workhorse Blues- I am no more work horse, I am your favorite horse. I like the stitches part alot it makes me laugh. This song makes me feel new through being old. The work is over now rest.

-Thou w/o Partner- Night times the right time. yes it is. "Night times the right time to pull all the dimes from your pocket" Then I ask myself why the girl in the song left. Dimes of dope at night after spending the day procuring it.

-I Am A Cinematographer- "And I walked away from everything I lived for"

-More Brothr Rides- "There really was one way to be, yet this is not it, we think". "We're busted up, so ragged now". "At night things come and have a life"


-The Brute Choir- The noise of the world. This song is another one that says it all for me.

-Viva Ultra- "Is there justice, is there something which resembles pleasure"? This song makes me think of my g/f again. In the grips of dispair. "It's o.k. not to say"

-Cat's Blues- "well love is forbidden outwardly, But inside there is no denying". taking or being taken in some way by force that is not regretted.

-Nomadic Revery- "Instead of seeing monkeys biting, I lay on the ground" I saw Bonnie Prince Billy one night and the cops came and broke up the show during the opener. The show moved on to another location and when they played this song it made me feel all warm inside. "O all around, O all around, It's kept together moving all around" the show went on, by moving around, despite the interruption by the law.

-Black- Tar heroin. "Black you are my enemy, and I can not get close to thee" in the end they come together in some form of understanding one another.

-Raining In Darling- This song is just so excellent in my mind. It reminds me of my g/f and aspects of our relationship. This song really gets me in the emotions department. It makes me feel accomplished, or rather it reaffirms an accomplishment of mine. The song at the end of the movie of my life, so to speak.

-Werners Last Blues To Blockbuster- Again raises feelings from my dope days. Represents my relationship w/ dope, "friend" who "turned me on" to dope, and relationship to Grateful Dead and Widespred Panic. Bad/good.

-We All Us Three Will Ride-
-Riding-
-Untitled-
-all gone-
-Death To Everyone-
-Madeleine Mary- reminds me of Suzanne Vegas song Solitude Standing. They sound similar.

I listed the songs I like most. I like all of his songs its just that the ones I listed are most important to me. This music generally makes me feel good. It brightens me up when I am down and sort of reaffirms the fact that it is okay to get sad sometimes.
It helps me realize that I am not the only one in the world who may be seen as weird, odd, or a little different. It appeals to my enigmatic side.

Wills music can also, at times, support my cynical, jaded side. It can help me go: huh ? whatever man, screw you ya fucked up humanic beast android destructo's.

Other times it can make me feel a little more real. Helps compliment who it is that I am.

3. Other artist's that I am a fan of:
does this pertain to music only ?
-Widespread Panic
-Brute
-The Grateful Dead, Jerry Garcia Band, Jerry Garcia & David Grisman, Legion Of Mary, Kingfish, Old And In The Way, Robert Hunter, Mickey And The Heartbeats, Bobby And The Midnights (all related in someway to the Grateful Dead)
-The Cramps
-Los Lobos
-Portishead
-Dar Williams
-Parliament, Funkadelic, P-funk
-De La Soul
-Culture
-Suzanne Vega
-Joan Baez
-Bob Dylan
-Sly & The Family Stone
-Jefferson Airplane, Hot Tuna
-Primus
-Janes Addiction
-Billy Holiday
-Nirvana
-The Blues Brothers
-Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention
-Marilyn Manson & The Spooky Kids
-Bone Thugs In Harmony
-George Jones
-The Dead Milkmen
-Culture Shock, The Subhumans
-Crass, Conflict
-The Clash
-Bob Marley And The Wailers, Peter Tosh, Ziggy Marley
-Cowboy Junkies
-The Glad Singers
-The Three Suns

-painters and the like-
-Mark Ryden
-Todd Schorr
-Hans Bellmer
-Michael Hussar
-Mati Klarwein
-Rockin Jellybean
-Trevor Brown
-Egon Schiele
-Robert Williams
-R. Crumb

-movies-
-Baraka
-The Road Warrior
-Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
-Apocalypse Now
-The Kids In The Hall's Brain Candy
-Zappa's 200 motels
-The Grateful Dead Movie
-Return Of The Living Dead
-Dawn Of The Dead
-Day Of The Dead
-Hellraiser (orig.), 2,4
-Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
-Kun Dun (sp?)
-Good Fellas
-The Exorcist
-The Shining
-Star Trek The Next Generation movies
-anything with Gary Coleman in it
-Alice In Wonderland
-Rear Window
-The Lorax


-T.V.-
-All In The Family
-Star Trek The Next Gen.
-Charlie Brown
-Fraggle Rock
-Fat Albert & Friends
-Twilight Zone
-anything with Gary Coleman in it


Okay I am getting carried away here so I am just gonna halt.
I hope some of this helps you in some way. Perhaps I should write a book or something, huh people.

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Replies:

  • Re: Questionnaire? -- Jaag T. Al-Faaza, 10:22:26 11/05/02 Tue
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