| Subject: A "Stall-er" Performance |
Author:
Ted Yahraus
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Date Posted: 19:17:24 05/01/02 Wed
"Go down the hall and turn to the left",
Words throbbed in my ear as my bladder's half-cleft!
Those missions to restrooms, run at great speed,
My world blurs and fades, with one primal need!
I skid on waxed floor, such unfriendly turf,
Rounding last corner, fighting back "yellow surf"!
Home-stretch sprint, closing in on beckoning doors,
That john, glowing like a golden trophy from yore!
Whump! A transformer blows, plunging all into black,
I fumble for the knob -- be danged if I'll turn back!
"MEN'S" on the right, as sure as the day,
My panting brain sees it no other way.
By Braille I embrace the stall's steel door,
Rotating my seam-busting torso, no easy chore!
While stumbling through the darkness, I heard a funny noise,
From the next stall beside me -- a voice not from boys!
Another trapped tenant, asking if I'm all right,
A LADY! Wrong turn, must exit, paralyzed by fright!
"Yes dearrie", my reply in perfect falsetto,
With a lunge, I burst from my gate -- YOU BET-O!!
Groping for exit, please darkness remain,
Just a little longer, a pitiful request in my brain.
Rebounding off a sink, I back out the door,
That squeaky-voiced stranger still muttering -- OH HORROR!!
No sooner was I set free in that familiar hall,
When, "POP!", brightness springs forth, bathing light over all!
I tuck and arrange, desperate to hide
All tell-tale signs showing dignity almost died!
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