The Age of Aquarium -- The Chimneyville Discussion Forum

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Date Posted: 19:07:15 03/06/03 Thu
Author: Marv
Subject: The Age of Aquarium

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people
>that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and
>the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners
>understand.
>
>OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very
>slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can
>look
>back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away
>from Moon Pies.
>
>CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin,
>however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of
>seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like
>Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
>
>BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're
>unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep
>into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and
>driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going
>to marry you, so don't worry about it.
>
>MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on
>the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon
>Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who
>you
>can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This
>might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
>
>POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties,
>Possums
>have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it
>attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're
>dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to
>work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your
>problems actually running you over.
>
>CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an
>office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
>beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the
>living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you
>have very, very good heads.
>
>COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for
>communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share
>their
>essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social
>workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life
>goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work.
>Save yourself a lot of heartache.
>
>CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the
>heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You
>Catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms
>to
>the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from
>Moon Pies.
>
>GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like
>yourself
>You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to
>travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you
>like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs. If
>you
>can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
>
>BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your
>fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved
>ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism
>will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you
>appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in
>a
>certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure
>that people will always pull over and stop for you.
>
>BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party
>because
>Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should
>be
>proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter
>what
>the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have
>anything to do with Moon Pies.
>
>ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough
>exterior,
>but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a
>fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're
>not
>concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with
>anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and
>behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum
>is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

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