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Date Posted: 16:34:59 12/09/02 Mon
Author: Marv
Subject: Does anyone remember

> > > When this kind of thing happened?? I Remember it well, and it was good. Marv >>Reviving an Old Southern Custom
By Jeff Adams
Published 12. 6. 02 at 20:20 Sierra Time

When I was a little boy and our family would visit my father's parents in Mississippi for Christmas, we were introduced to what was described to us as an old Southern custom. However, this custom seems to have fallen out of fashion today. The town of Macon, MS is probably no larger than it was when my father was growing up there, and I would have to say it wasn't exactly a town that was booming economically. It was/is very rural, made up mostly of farmers and a few business men running things of basic necessity such as gas stations, a bank, a few clothing and grocery stores, and the like. This sleepy Southern town hasn't changed in probably 70 years.
The custom we were introduced to in this little town was one based on Christian charity and general community bonds where those better off did a simple act of kindness for others less fortunate. Around Christmas time, often on Christmas Eve, those with plenty would quietly take presents to the needy families in the area. I remember one of my brothers went one time with my grandfather to leave some presents with a poor black family. My brother was somewhere around 10 or 12 years old. It was late at night, and my grandfather went quietly to the doorstep and set the presents down. My brother wanted to knock on the door, but my grandfather stopped him and directed him back to the car.

Once in the car, my brother wanted to know why they didn't let the folks know the gifts were there. Our grandfather simply said that they would find the presents in the morning when they got up. In protest, my brother said, "But they won't know who gave them the gifts." My grandfather's response was, "They aren't suppose to know. To tell them would take away from the selfless act of anonymous giving. I'm not looking for a 'thank you,' I'm simply doing a Christian deed and giving to the less fortunate." This old custom of giving anonymously was traditionally carried out by white Southerners, who took gifts to poor black Southerners. The giving of gifts from the better off whites to the poor blacks was the norm, but was not the case exclusively.

I want to point out here that my grandfather was not a Progressive, in the liberal sense. He was most definitely "Old South" in all his views. Most people today would quickly label him a racist if they knew his views of minorities. But that would be an overly simplistic and uninformed assessment of traditional Southern culture and views. At his foundation, my grandfather was a Christian who recognized the humanity of everyone, and knew that every person had an immortal soul that needed tending. His desire to give unselfishly to the less fortunate during the holiday season was a sincere act which he did not see as being in contradiction to his general view of blacks as being "properly" situated in a lower station in society than most whites (not including those grandpa called "white trash," whom he considered to be a group less deserving of respect than the poorest of black folks). It is one of the oddities of the South, that outsiders and reconstructed Southerners can't seem to grasp, that Southerners can be kind and charitable, yet hold views that appear to contradict their Christian roots. I guess it is part of the flawed state all mankind lives in.

This old Southern custom of giving anonymously is a custom that is worthy of reviving. Yes, there are churches and various charities that handle reaching out to the needy, but that takes away from the personal aspect of giving that we can do as individuals. Individuals are too removed from the act of giving, and therefore don't seem to fully appreciate a truly selfless act of giving. In addition, in this day and age, I don't think the custom should remain limited to the concept of prosperous whites giving to needy minorities. Several surveys in the last few years show that 50% of American blacks live at the middle class level or above. This custom should be what it was really about back then: those who have, giving to those who have not. In our society today the color of one's skin shouldn't be a determining factor in who is the giver of gifts and who is the recipient.

Ultimately, the idea should be that the individual makes a personal sacrifice and give to someone in need this holiday season. And it should be done quietly and anonymously. We shouldn't look for praise for an act of kindness. Remember, the idea is to give freely without an expectation of a reward in this life, as we should be "storing up treasures in heaven." It is my sincere wish this Christmas season that everyone who reads this will take to heart the concept of anonymous giving. If you know of a family in need, then quietly prepare some packages you can leave on their doorstep without fanfare. If you need help in determining who is in real need, I suggest you go to your church and inquire there, as our churches are always on the lookout for needy families especially during this time of year.

May you all have a wonderful holiday season, and discover one of the real joys of this time of year in giving selflessly and anonymously to someone in need. At its roots, this is a Southern thing to do, but it is also an American thing to do

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Replies:

Re: Does anyone remember -- Pot, 06:14:00 12/10/02 Tue