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Date Posted: 18:58:54 11/16/02 Sat
Author: Rose
Subject: I have a right to defend myself, right? Right!

Well, hello to all of you!

I have not been here in a while and it actually took a message from a good friend of mine to let me know about all this discussion about me. Ok, I just read all that you have to say. I guess it's only fair that you listen to me now.

Ok, I am not going to start naming everyone that has been saying bad things about me cause I'm just not in the mood for it. I played that game in high school. I'm 25 years old, a mom and a wife.

I do remember making a promise one time about sending Jean my chats with Dan & Co. Yes, and it was bad of me not to do it immediately like I said I would. This was not done out of spite or out of anything other than full forgetfulness and at the time that I made this promise, it was late for me and I needed to go to bed. All the things that I have are very long and some are saved on several different places cause I changed computers.

IF you are still interested in those chats, I will email them to you by request. I have come to the conclusion that whether it was Dan or not, I still would like to maintain some level of privacy towards all my chats and emails with him.

None of you know me enough to say all those things about me, ok? If I happen to log out of my MSN when some of you come online, it's not a personal thing against anybody. It's several different things. It's either too late, I was just about to log off anyway or MSN kicked me off. I never purposefully ignore anyone in my list. IF you like to think that about me, go right ahead. I'm not playing any games here with anyone. I am a full time mom and sometimes, all I wanna do is just go to bed and sleep.

To this day, I have no absolute 100% proof that it was really Dan, Tom or Emma. I went by their word but that doesn't mean that I didn't check all the things that they mentioned to me. It still didn't prove anything for sure. I still chose to believe it was them. I have a right.

Jean and I discussed several things that night and even though what she said to me, made me believe even more that it was him, she mentioned that because of all that I told her, she now believed it wasn't him.

We both have a right to our own opinions I'd say.

I never came here to flame anybody and it upsets me that you are all flaming ME because I 'knew' Dan. I talked to someone who I believed was Dan. I'm sure some of you chatted with the same Dan if you had that email address, right? Right.

Now, is all of this going to stop? Or are we to play silly name calling? If that's the way you want to go, I rather just stay out of it thank you.

It's been a long day. I never thought all this was going on about me. Now I'm upset, cause, stupid me, I have this thing in me that I never want anyone to be mad at me for whatever reason and I always try to make it up. But, if you are all going to behave like obsessed teens, I guess I shouldn't care what you all think of me, ok? Like I said, I played all those games already in high school.

You can choose to listen to what I have to say or you can still think what you want about me. I really shouldn't care. Stupid me that I do.

You know, in a way, I sure wish it hadn't been him. I mean, why would he pick ME to chat with. I'm nothing special. You wanna know what I wrote to him the first time? A song. He liked the song and he said that he liked the person behind it. Lucky me I suppose. He became my friend and I became his. He became my friend when I needed to vent about my frustrations here at home and I listened to his. He IS human you know, and he has all the same teenage problems we all went through.

Anyhow, this is not about Dan, it's about me and the fact that I feel that I have to defend myself against all these comments.

So, chose to believe what you want about me.

Thank you all,
Rose

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