| Subject: Lol, I've got a life too. |
Author:
Diane
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Date Posted: 11:33:42 12/21/01 Fri
In reply to:
Secular Monkey
's message, "Diane, you're not gonna keep me waiting too long, I hope" on 17:25:40 12/20/01 Thu
I don't usually spend the later afternoons or evenings on the computer because my kids want it, and I do have other things to do. So good morning to you.
>Just so you know, I'm still eagerly awaiting your
>interpretation of these:
>
>a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
>know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.
>1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor
>is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
>
>b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
>sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
>do you think would be a fair price for her? She's 18
>and starting University. Will the slave buyer continue
>to pay for her education by law ?
>
>c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
>while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness
>(Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have
>tried asking, but most women take offense.
>
>d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves,
>both male and female, provided they are purchased from
>neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
>applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
>clarify? ....Why can't I own Canadians?
>
>e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
>Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
>to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself,
>or should this be a neighborhood improvement project ?
>
>f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating
>shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a
>lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
>Can you settle this?
>
>g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
>of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
>that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
>20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Would
>contact lenses help ?
>
>h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
>including the hair around their temples, even though
>this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should
>they die?
>
>i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
>dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
>football if I wear gloves?
>
>j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
>planting two different crops in the same field, as
>does his wife by wearing garments made of two
>different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
>also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
>necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
>whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16)
>Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
>family affair like we do with people who sleep with
>their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
~~~~~~~~~~~~These are just a joke, Secular - you know that. When Jesus came he changed all this to preferring mercy over sacrifice.
Diane
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Feedback: 
so we may as well toss the whole OT, then, eh?