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Subject: Christmas Message to Mike and NoMad (british humor) Author: Sir Max Payne [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 11:24:19 12/20/01 Thu (The Camera Crew is walking round backstage. They walk past Thunders lockerroom, they walk past Spider K's lockerroom, and Finaly they walk up to a storage room which has a hand written note tacked to the door saying 'EXECUTIVE SUITE, SIR MAX PAYNE' The Crowd Boo like crazy as soon as they find out who's lockeroom it is. The Camera man slowly pushes the door to the storage room open, revealing Sir Max Payne. He is unaware of the Camera Crew filming him. His lockeroom is small, and has a very nice desk in the middle of the room. Sir Max is sat at his desk wearing his expensive suit. He is looking smart and clean, and then he grabs his tea pot and pours himself a nice put of Tea. As he is pouring his tea into his china cup, the Cameraman speaks...) JIMMY - Excuse me Max! (Sir Max jumps out of his chair in shock! He had no idea that the camera crew was watching him! when he jumped he poured his boiling hot tea all over his $1,000 jacket and trousers! Sir Max stands up from his chair and removes his jacket. He looks so angry at the camera crew. As he is standing up, he looks at his crotch area in his trousers, he poured the tea all over it, it looks like Max has pissed his pants!) MAX - YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! HAVN'T YOU EVER THOUGHT OF KNOCKING YOU PILIC! LOOK AT MY TROUSERS THIS IS ALL YOUR BLOODY FAULT, AND YOU SUNSHINE CAN PAY TO GET THIS DRY-CLEANED! WHAT IN THE NAME OF CRUMPITS DO YOU WANT WITH ME, WHY HAVE YOU COME INTO MY FINE LOCKEROOM ANYHOW ? JIMMY - I'm so sorry Sir Max. I didnt mean to make you spill your tea to your suit! I will pay for it to be Dry-Cleaned, im so sorry. I came in here to get your thourghts on Micheal Miller, and about your debut match in WCHW since your return. Your PPV match for the No.1 contendership for the US title. Do you think you can beat NoMad ? MAX - Listen sunshine, i dont know what you do with the other idiotic wrestlers here in WCHW, but the first rule when you grace Sir Max is that you Bow to me... GO ON YOU PILIC BOW TO ME! (Jimmy bows to Max, but when he lowers his head, he can see the big wet patch on Sir Max's crotch. Jimmy bursts out into laughter!) MAX - Whats so funny ?!? Are you laughing at Sir Max ! Stop that at once ! Do you know who i am !?! (Sir Max is confussed as to why Jimmy is laughing at him. Then he suddenly notices his wet trousers. His face goes bright red like a beetroot! He doent know what to do, but sudenly grabs the teapot, and holds it over his crotch covering the stain in his pants!) MAX - You little Bugger! Control yourself when in the presence of Sir Max Payne! You wanted to know what i feel about my brother Mike? When i left the bastard lying in that ring after he recieved the most painfull move in England, Royal Payne. It felt so good! I wanted him to come down to the ring and we could make up and be friends, just like when we was children. Mike has to go and spoil everything, thats why he forced me to attack him in front of everybody. Mike has to learn to respect his family, he never respected his father and he never went to school. Therefore did not learn how to spell very well. Mike had his chance to Apoligise and make friends with me, but he turned down my offer. Mike has left me with no other alternative but to beat his ass the Royal way! I spent all my life learning to wrestle on the mean streets of Britain. Mike is just a Brawler, im a Wrestler and i know i can lock my finnishing manouver the Royal Payne, and he WILL tap out. Mikes turn will come. Sooner, than later. But i still dont understand why mike would want to disrespect his smarter and wiser brother. As everybody knows in WCHW i am a violent and ruthless competetor! i beat everybody to a pulp back home. Now its USA's turn to FEEL THE PAYNE!!! JIMMY - But Sir Max, you have the perfect opertunity to show the world just how good you are in the ring this sunday. Christmas Chaos, you will be fighting NoMaD for US title No. Contendership. Do you have any comments for NoMad ??? MAX - I have no idea who that little bugger is, and i couldnt even give a monkeys about who he is. You will be my very first 'Victem' should i say. I dont hold back for nobody, and you will be the very first stepping stone onto my future here in the WCHW. When i was first here in the WCHW a long time ago, i dont like to admit this but i never won a single match. But come Sunday, Christmas WILL come early for me and i will get the best present posible, No.1 Contendership. So NoMaD, if you are watching this... GET READY TO FEEL THE PAYNE! (Max Payne then procedes to take off his trousers, and revealing his BRITISH FLAG UNDERPANTS!!! He stands in his room wereing nothing but a shrit and his pants. He takes his Stained $1,000 suit and throws it at Jimmy). JIMMY - I'll get these cleaned for you Sir, i'll have them back to you as soon as posible. Would you like me to get you anything? like more tea? or maybe some.... trousers? MAX - JUST GET THE BLOODY SUIT CLEANED YOU LITTLE BUGGER! (Jimmy bows to Max and then runs off to clean the suit. The camera still films Max, who stood in his underpants, sits down and pours himself another cup of tea). [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] Forum timezone: GMT-8 VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB: Before posting please read our privacy policy. VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems. Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.