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Date Posted: 06:37:08 11/27/10 Sat
Author: christopheranton (falling down laughing)
Subject: The real cause of the recession.

As we move towards the second decade of the twenty first century, one of the principle worries that seems to beset our leaders is how to lead the world out of the recession that we have been in for some years now; or , at least, how to claim credit for doing so. Many reasons have been given out by economists and politicians, and experts of all sorts as to how the great recession started in the first place. Some have blamed the bankers for loaning out too much money to people who could not afford to pay it back. Still others have asserted that our governments were spending too much money at a time when they should have been putting some aside as a hedge against any down turn that might arise. The blame game has been played on all sides. Indeed it could truly be said that, if as much effort had been put into figuring out ways to alleviate the problems as were spent in trying to assign culpability, the effects could have been considerably lessened. The truth of the matter is that the governments know what the real problem is despite all their trying to deflect the blame onto the banks, and all the international summits that all these "great and good" have attended are just so much window dressing to make themselves look big, because although they know the real cause of the global rescession they are totally at a loss as to how they can deal with it. They blame the banks. They castigate previous administrations. They spout so much "hot air" about how they will save us all. Believe me when I say, until they steal themselves to deal with the real cause they will get nowhere, and they are so far from grasping the enormity of what happened, and is still happening, as to be almost on another planet. The real cause of the recession was not the financiers. They have been unjustly blamed. There is however a real organisation that is draining the coffers of all the worlds governments and financial institutions, and that does not even draw the line at taking the change out of the pockets of the poor. That organisation is a family run affair, more pervasively malevalent than the mafia, and their operatives are scheming not ten feet away from where I am sitting typing this, and from where you are sitting reading it.

The secret revealed.

As The President of The Ancient Society of Secret Historians, and the one mortal person from which no secret can be kept, I now about to reveal the real cause of the recession. It was not started by the sub prime mortgages in The United States. The real and actual cause of the recession was, and they continue to spread it, The Clock Family/aka The Borrowers. This is their story.
The Clock Family first came to the notice of the world in 1952. They featured in a book by a lady called Mary Norton. According to the book they were a family of very small people who lived under the floorboards in a house, and they made their living by scavenging items that were lost or discarded by the large humans who inhabited the rest of the house. I wont go into the full details of their adventures. You can learn them for yourself by reading Ms Norton's excellent books. What I will say is that eventually they had to leave the house and set up home in a Badgers sett. This is the important point, because it was directly as a result of their migration that their decendants gave up Borrowing and went down the path that ultimately led them to become the instigators, and the perpetuators of, the financial difficulties that the world is in now.
Let me first of all say that the story of The Borrowers was a true one. Mary Norton did not write a work of fiction. She did change the names, and she did not give the exact location of either the house where they lived or the location of the Badger sett. This was done to protect The Clocks from the unwelcome attention of curiosity seekers, and papparazzi. They were real people, albeit very tiny versions. Let that fact be established from the first.
It was the spread of chemical pesticides in agricultural production that effected the cathastrophic collapse in the moral character of these little people. It also greatly increased their fecundity, so that a Borrower female who might have had three children in the nineteen fifties was having fifty to sixty by the nineteen eighties. Their pregnancy duration was reduced from nine months,(the same as the rest of us), to three weeks. The result was that throughout the later part of the twentieth century the number of decendants that The Clock Family acquired came to be counted in billions, with the result as I said, that none of us is now more than ten feet away from a Clock. The tendancy to great evil that grew along with the population explosion manifested itself in an almost obsessive greed. From borrowing sewing needles, and crumbs of cheese they graduated to taking the change that people occasionally left lying around the house. The more literate among them started to steal cheque books and they learned to forge signatures and pay the cheques into bank accounts that they had also fraudulently opened by post.
Sometimes they even managed to creep into the pockets of powerful people. They hoped in this way they might find information that might help them in their search for even greater wealth.
The advance of computer technology in the nineteen nineties and the early years of the new millennium gave these diminutive malevalents their greatest opportunity. Up to this they had only been able to engage in pretty low level crime. They stole jewelry and the occasional gold bar. A gang of three thousand of them managed to steal the greater part of The United Kingdom's gold reserves. This was covered up by The Blair Government by saying that The Chancellor Gordon Browne had sold it. But that is not what really happened. Anyway computers enabled the more clever amongst them to access the systems of all the treasuries of the world governments, and of all the banks.
The first major casualty was Lehman Brothers. Since then there have been many more. As they have not entirely abandoned their practise of physically stealing, that has been continuing apace. They now have advanced so far as to make some alliances with corrupt elements in the construction industry to facilitate the hiding of the ill gotten gains under prominent construction projects. Half the contents of America's gold reserves are hidden under the 1912 Olympic Development in London. President Obama does know it is missing. He just doesnt know where it is now. There have been some defeats for the international thieves however. The Gulf of Mexico oil disaster was caused by a "borrower mini sub" that crashed into the well head when they were researching the possibility of stowing the contents of the Kremlin Museums in a specially built underwater hideway. The American administration know that, but they felt that more political capital could be made out of blaming BP. The plan to rob the Russian Museums has been put on hold until a new hiding place can be devised.
Now that I have revealed to you the true cause of the difficult situation that the world is in at the present time it is up to you collectively to deal with it. You must no longer sit back while the powers that be behave like rabbits in the headlights. This menace can, and must be overcome. You should lobby your political representatives right away. For starters they have to investigate the foundations of The Olympic Development. If you hear scratching under your floorboards, or a tiny head peeps at you from behind your television, deal with it immediately, and fatally. You might be contributing to the recovery of the world's economy. You will be doing more than your political leaders have managed to do.

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