Cyndzia's diary -- Faith's Beholder

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Date Posted: 06:20:24 04/25/00 Tue
Author: Cyndzia
Author Host/IP: mctnts06c59.nbnet.nb.ca / 207.179.134.64
Subject: Cyndzia's diary

Cyndzia's Tryst
(or have I come here to play Jesus to the voices in my head)

Cyndzia Pulls out her mirror and fixes her hair

Cyndzia's eye's glaze over

I hope they can handle this fight without much help. Whats come over me. My comrades need me and here I am day dreaming. Damn you gypsy blooded cavalier. Do I love you or hate you ? Do I want you to save me , Or do I just want to have that unbridled fire you light in me quenched ? Or has that evil sire of mine twisted my thoughts hoping to use me as a weapon against you anyway he can ? Are the souls of my parents champions of erollisi that they were seeking out Norraths staunchest defender of the faith to redeem thier stolen daughter.

Too many questions. Most likely I am drawn to the unbridled power that is you dear Tristan. Power to heal with magic to harm with blade. Power to wrap Norrath's foolish sheeplike women around your little finger. They admire you want to be with you. They do not Know you though. the life of one with nearly extinct blood in thier veins. That is a life I know. A life of feigned joviality. Easier to wear a smile and keep the world from asking isn't dear-heart. Hard to be the summit of beauty and love Tristan ? That I know too everyone wants me too, though our kinds of love are different I fear and hope. I awake all that is sensual in others, the face that started a thousand wars I fear. I feel none of it myself I grow weary of the sensual madly driven toward exstacy love. You have a romantic love that stopped a thousand wars with a calming hand and heart. You are the champagne and roses I need to feel real and to counteract the whips and chains I feed on.

Are you wonderful because I love you or do I love you because you are wonderful ? Or are you or I or both a means to an end for some greater power ? Will the scale save me from my sire and turn me on him ? Will I turn you from the scale and aid you in destroying the ancient oppressive power that is veeshan ? Too many questions dear heart that must be answered another time.

Cyndzia Blinks a few times

Hey did I miss much ?

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