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Date Posted: 14:05:07 09/08/01 Sat
Author: BY7:30
Subject: Existing without you

Where did I find my strength?
Why didn't I just lie there and die when our pieces fell to dust?
How could I walk into BICKFORD'S, the place of the sugar packet and parking lot hug?
How could I accept that I wasn't it for you, and you'd already found another?
How could I live with never hearing your voice again?
How could I sit with our friends and not fall apart?
How could I hold my head up without your eyes to level me?
Why could I smile, even laugh?
Because I knew you could never REALLY love me?
Because I knew I was impossible to stay with . . . that I was a little neurotic? A little moody? A little too romantic? A little too wanting of you to show me forever? A little too desperate to hear you call me your girlfriend? I wanted too much of your time, I wanted to share a life . . .

Because I wouldn't settle for someone who couldn't give me my dreams?

And now you are away, and I will never know you again. That, right there, is enough to make me give up my dreams just for you to take my hand once more time . . .

Two years are gone.
But I can be without you. I can breathe without you. I can exist without you. I will kiss again, I will love again, I will be whole again, I will find happiness in myself, I will create a life that doesn't include you.

After you've seen Hell, what's left has to only be beautiful, right??

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