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Date Posted: 15:57:02 10/16/01 Tue
Author: Prometheus
Subject: This Weight

This weight around my neck pulls on me.
This stone that I drag makes my heart beat faster than I believe it should.
This everpresent fear of being humiliated by the ebb and tide of life makes me nauseous.
I would walk into the flames of oblivion if not for this weight keeping me here,
I would jump into traffic and off buildings if not tethered like a dog to my post.
I watch, like that self-same dog, as the unleashed masses skip merrily down the primrose paths
That once were mine to wander.
I am caged by my own desrires and captured by my own ideas of torture.
Not to fail, not to faulter, not to be less than what I was...not to burn out.
But I'm burned down man,
Thrown down the chutes of a charred building that once made a product no one needs now.
Erect and peaceful as I near the bottom of this smokestack...I will not flail or cry out.
Subtle victories in the face of shear defeat make the dying moments bearable.
What was it my crazy uncle Lenny always said, "These are the vignettes of life."
Sickly sweet uncle Len, you also said that "Every ten years a man changes."
We could never be sure if that was an unfinished sentence that could've ended with..."his clothes".
(You always had a penchant for stinking and wearing browned T-shirts, but that wasn't your problem was it?
It was ours and now it's mine, just like the rest of it.
Just one more ounce dropped on the scales that lay so unbalanced across my shoulders.
I am mounting my resistance and it will be called repentence and that may free these shackles.
I cannot say, I should not say too much.

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