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Date Posted: 12:05:12 05/23/01 Wed
Author: Portrock
Subject: Breathe Me

When I was a senior in highschool
oh, about 9 years ago now.
I crashed my first car with a couple friends riding as passengers.
One of them didn't make it, I've never felt the same since.
I remember telling myself all the things people tell themselves
but nothing I said or did made any difference or made things better.
I wanted to die so much at night, that I would drink until I felt dead.
I would come to school and people would look at me with hatred in their eyes
Staring as if it was something I did on purpose; to take a life.
I was still "in" with the crowds but I felt so dead inside.
I remember blowing up balloons for an end of year pep rally and thinking,
"If I died tonight, would anyone know that my breath was inside these?
Would anyone care enough to break it and breathe me in?"
I wanted that so much.

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