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Date Posted: 08:47:12 04/21/05 Thu
Author: Desiree S Ray
Subject:

Re: moderation, censorship or ...
In reply to: Joe 's message, "Re: moderation, censorship or ..." on 10:37:38 04/20/05 Wed

Hi.

Sorry I could not respond yesterday, but my husband and I are moving to a newer home up the street and packing things up was my project yesterday. We needed a home all on one level to make things easier for my parents (and my knee).

I think this is a good discussion and I want to add a few comments. (Hope I don't get to long winded)

First, I don't think it can be disputed that the internet and the devotion of Joe, Chris, Bruce...everyone who has added their experiences to this site have not only contributed to making others aware of UBF, but have helped themselves in a LONG OVERDUE healing process.

I can tell you that as a direct result of the information on this web site I know of at least 4 people who have left UBF. Because I respect their privacy, I cannot share their names, but I have encouraged them to consider adding their comments here. I believe they might in the future.

I also know of 2 other families who left ubf, but did not know about the web site.

With that being said..... I believe that it is morally imparative to continue trying to facilitate communication with current UBF members.

It is my opinion that for the second generation of UBF kids, this could be their only opportunity to get challenged.

Most of you guys are much less naieve than myself. I tend to believe everyone who posts here is telling the truth when they say they are kids. (o.k. you can quit laughing now!)

I think it is a shame that some current, adult UBF members are game players, not to mention liars, by using this web site for their own agenda. It is true that the website itself is designed for the purpose of exposing the "DARK SIDE" of UBF (call that an agenda if you will). If adult UBF members want to come here pretending to be children then so be it. To me it is a reflection of their cowardice. They are not capable of being REAL to themselves or anyone else. Another trait of UBF. A REAL church supports it's membership to be whole REAL HUMAN BEINGS. UBF dismisses individual adult identity.

In my perfect world, regardless of anyone's belief, people should at least be honest enough to OWN the conviction of what they hold morally and spiritually precious. It has been painfully revealed here, that some UBF adults WILL NOT openly identify themselves. They pretend to be kids (perhaps mentally they still are).

I think Elia and even Brian Karcher are to be appreciated from the standpoint that at least they OWN their convictions...Regardless of right or wrong.

So many folks in UBF loose their personal identity. They change their names ie... Desiree to Deborah, Bob to Abraham..... Name change is so common. Identity becomes UBF centered to the point that true ownership of individualty slips away altogether. Reminds me of the BORG.

So, if we as current "former members" wash our hands of anyone who comes here to comment, we might loose an opportunity. The Buddists have a saying "Treat everyone like your mother".
Perhaps, if all of us could go a step back, we would remember that when we were in UBF, regardless of how blind, and defiant we were, someone outside of UBF showed us kindness and infinite patience. (GOD BLESS MY PARENTS)

I do not know how to encourage the kids, or the adults to be honest here, but, from my point of view, if they want to talk, I will keep reaching out. UBF was my life for 10 years. If I stop communicating (even with the game players) all the pain and loss will have been for nothing.

I know I could go on and on about this. Sorry.

Have a Blessed Day (as we say here in Raleigh USA)

Best wishes
Desiree

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Replies:

Re: moderation, censorship or ... -- ChicagoXile, 10:09:30 04/21/05 Thu
- Re: moderation, censorship or ... -- Desiree S. Ray, 10:39:30 04/21/05 Thu