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Date Posted: 08:52:36 10/09/04 Sat
Author: Tony Lang
Subject: Re: Listening
In reply to: Mike K. 's message, "Listening" on 04:29:30 10/08/04 Fri

Thanks for your reply Mike.
You make the comment that a typical ubf strategy is we talk you listen/obey. But surely this can only happen if we are prepared to allow it to happen. So who is going to allow this state of affairs to happen. Only the uninformed. I dont think people who have passed through ubf and left can be considered uninformed. Would you allow a situation to arise of we talk you listen. Well i dont think members of this web site would. I think that you are doing their intelligence rather a dis service to suggest it.
Trying to talk to ubf as an organisation is over ambitious, I was thinking more of contact with ordinary members. This can be possible . I know because I have done it. I have formed a good frienship by doing this. Confidentiality prevents me from going into further details, save to say this, I think this has broadened both our minds. Being silent about what we cannot accept is not what I am talking about and I think that you know that, rather presenting what we have to say in such a way that the other person will listen. (Being effective)
Yes listening as you rightly said is a gift and so is waiting for the right time to get a point across. To do this one has to get the confidence of the other, which can be a long process. If we are prepared to go down this road I believe we become more mature individuals. I have got to the stage where I trust my ubf contact. That is not the same as total agreement. A relationship cannot be built on mere point scoring. God Bless Tony

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