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Date Posted: 20:00:30 06/17/03 Tue
Author: Doesn't make a bit of difference {SW #2}
Subject: Springheel Jack

{Springheel Jack is seen standing in the backstage area in front of a television. He is watching the end of Jack Hammer’s promo. Backstage reporter Chris T. Jones runs up to the Champion.}

Chris: Springheel Jack, it appears as if Jack Hammer is once again on his own. How will this affect your International Title match at Shockwave?

Springheel Jack: How will it affect my match? Please. You think any of that self-righteous garbage we all just witnessed will affect me at all? It doesn’t matter if Jack Hammer is wearing a long leather coat or those trunks he’s got on now. It doesn’t matter if he’s The Awoken Jack Hammer or if he’s the supposed old-school Jack Hammer. It doesn’t matter if he’s plugged in or plugged out, tuned in, turned on, or dropped out! He is still the same piece of crap that I’ve gotten the better of time and time again, and he is still beneath me and my Glorious title!

{Springheel Jack grabs the mic away from Jones and turns to stare into the camera}

Springheel Jack: Hammer, you think any of what you just did matters at all? You think it was some sort of impressive, symbolic moment? Why, because you quit the group you’d been a member of for a whole two weeks? Because you went back to the man you haven’t been since….gasp….May? Lest ye forget, Jack Hammer, we’ve danced long before you joined The Awakening, and I beat your ass then. And June 27th, when the new/old Jack Hammer debuts or returns or whatever the hell you’re doing, it’ll be the same story. We’ll dance, and I’ll come out on top, STILL the International Champion! So I’m next, eh? You’re damn right I’m next. I’m THE next International Champion. I’m THE current International Champion. And I forever will be The International Champion. And it’ll take a hell of a lot more than some hobo’s garbage can fire in the middle of my ring to tell me otherwise!

{With that, Springheel Jack tosses the mic back to Chris T. Jones and walks away.}

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