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Date Posted: 23:05:11 08/26/05 Fri
Author: Nina
Subject:
I don’t wanna be lonely no more,
I don’t wanna have to pay for this,
I don’t want to know the lover at my door,
It’s just another heartache on my list


She rarely ever came here, she rarely ever had time to be honest- but the house was getting more and more stressful and everyone was on edge, what with money situations and all the rest of it. The only thing that kept her going and kept her grounded there was Joey, she was falling for him more and more each day, which was making her more and more irritable and annoyed with herself. But no matter how many attempts she made to flirt and dance and hang with other guys, they didn't detract or lessen the amount she cared for him... they just made her feel cheap and guilty- even though she didn't even so much as kiss them- she couldn;t even humour the thought of it.

She sat in the shallows, letting the heat of the warm- mid-afternoon sun warm her upper body- her skin a deep bronzed colour and her hair let loose in its ocean blown and wet curls as she gazed out at the water absently. She was generally one for reflection, but now as she sat here- like other times recently, she played over their relationship- or whatever the hell it was- in her mind. Maybe it was just an obession... a desire to have what he seemed to want to refrain from, wait for. She'd always wanted what she couldn;t have... but she couldn;t steal this... and it seemed she couldn;t convince him into it either. Maybe once she had done it... slept with him, maybe then this feeling would go away. Something inside her told that her hopes were ungrounded though... it was plain and simple to everyone... and she feared one sided. It was a dangerous position to be in, she felt so unsure and lonely. It almost brought her to tears.

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