A Skit I Wrote...... -- Under The Web Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 06:23:03 01/03/02 Thu
Author: JoeFranks
Author Host/IP: 1Cust78.tnt59.dfw5.da.uu.net / 67.203.43.78
Subject: A Skit I Wrote......

Here's a skit I wrote a while back....under the table
tormenting bird

tims tormentor

we see a guy, normal looking his name is Tim, walking down the street. whistling, smiling, enjoying everything around him. just then, a man pulls him into an alleyway, holding a gun to his throat

thief: "gimmie the fucking wallet, asshole!"

we see Tim's face sink, just as he's knocked out.

Tim wakes up, looks at his watch
Something makes him look off camera. laughter. pan to, a bird ( methinks since it's too damn expensive to do a cgi bird or animatronics, we'll have a guy in a bird suit playing the tormenting bird) laughing it's ass off at Tim's misfortune. Tim gives the bird a puzzled look and gets up, rubs his head, and walks off.

Tim is once again walking down the street, a little beat up this time. walks up to his apartment, and goes in. looks at the blinking light on the answering machine.

Tim: " hopefully good news�"

Tim hits the play button

Machine: " message one: um mr. connely, yea, this is Fred from the car lot,
we have'nt received this months payment yet so, we'll be repoing
your car soon. Have a nice day."

Just then Tim hears a window breaking outside, he runs outside to see none other than his car being repoed.

tim: " goddammit.."

He slouches down, and hears laughter off camera he looks over, to see the bird laughing it's ass off.

Tim: " What the?! What the fuck is up with that?"

he's back in his apartment, checking the next message:

Tim: " maybe it's kate, I need to talk to somebody, weird ass day�"

Machine: " message two: hi Tim, it's kate"

Tim's face lights up, a ray of light in an otherwise cloudy day.

Machine: " look, I hate to do this over the phone and all, but, I'm sorry, I've
found someone else, his name is Favio, (in the background we hear
Favio say "hi, tim!" ) so I'm gonna break up with you now. yea, ok,
bye." we hear her giggle before the phone hangs up.

Tim is standing banging his head on the table. then he hears a tapping at the window. he goes over and opens the blinds, only to find a bird laughing it's ass off at him. again.
Tim then goes out the front door and confronts his tormentor

Tim: " what the fuck is your problem man? "

he pushes the bird, the bird goes back a bit then comes back and pushes tim.

Bird: (in a squawky voice)"bitch!"

then the bird runs off flapping his wings as if he was trying to fly. tim follows the bird, yelling:

Tim: " that's right, get the hell outta here! crazy ass bird. "

tim still ranting at the bird, onlookers see tim yelling at nothing.
as tim is following the bird, it rounds a corner and disappears, only then does tim realize that people are looking at him.

Tim: " heh, um I uh"

tim then nervously fastwalks back to his doorstep.

Tim: " ooooook."

later, tim is in bed�he dreams of the tormenting bird, the bird messing with him, pissing in his gas tank, laughing, fucking his ex girlfriend; he wakes up in a cold sweat.

tim: " AH! oh, damn, just a dream."

tim rubs his head for a sec then looks up, and at the foot of his bed, is the bird, laughing, this time he has an egg.

Tim: "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! wait, is that a �"

the bird throws the egg at tim.

then tim wakes up again, in a cold sweat.

tim: " SHIT!"

The next day, tim is walking to check his mail, he opens the mailbox and grabs his mail out.
then outta no where he gets whacked by an egg.

Tim: " AGH! what the hell?"

he looks across the street behind him, and sees the bird, holding a sign, the sign reads : "you suck!"
tim blinks a bit, still stunned by the egg and the message. then looks back
now the sign reads : " go die, loser!"
he blinks again, only this time the bird is gone.

the next day, tim is in the shower, he opens the curtain to grab a washcloth and once again, there is the bird, right next to the toilet hand on the handle.

Tim: " no, you would'nt!"

the bird flushes the toilet, and a rush of cold water runs through the shower

Tim: " YEAARRAGH!"
Tim: " YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOU�RE DEAD!"

later that day, tim is sitting on a park bench feeding the birds.

tim: " come and get it you bastards�.come and get it! hehehehehhheee!"

a little kid walks by and see the birds start to keel over and die.

kid: " mommy what's wrong with the birds?"

mother: " they're dead, honey."

kid: " why?"

mother: " because they asked too many questions."

tim is still sitting there feeding the birds, they're still eating despite all the dead birds lying there.

he keeps feeding them, smiling. then two cops run up to him, grab him, and drag him away. as they're dragging him away he screams:

b.k.: "I GOT YOU! HAHAHA! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? HUH? HAHAHAHHA!"

Then o/c the tim runs back and stomps the bird corpses, leaving a bloody mess. as he's doing this he's giggling away. the cops run back and grab him, and drag him away again. he's laughing hysterically.
the bird, comes into frame and salutes an off camera tim�.then starts laughing..

end

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

I like this nt* -- cheddermuse/fish, 06:07:31 01/04/02 Fri