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| Subject: running with scissors by augusten burroughs in amusing in places | |
Author: betty brant | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 01:06:39 11/21/02 Thu Author Host/IP: ppp-66-63-129-188.sndg-c5300-3.dialup.nethere.net/66.63.129.188 page 92: "we'll need more pink balloons for his hat," hope said. "pink is his favorite color." in the end, we inflated about sixty balloons, tying them to his hat, his umbrella, looping them through the buttonholes of his long black wool coat that he intended to wear despite the heat. we tied balloons around our own waists and we even attached two balloons to agnes, one over each breast. "i'm not going out in public like this," agnes complained. "give me some more of them, so i can tie some somewhere else. i can't have just these two." overhearing agnes's complaint, the doctor stepped into the room, now dressed in his suit. "no, agnes," he boomed. "these are the only balloons you should have. you are the matriarch of the family, the great breast-feeder, and that's what these balloons symbolize." "oh, phooey," she said. "i don't buy it." "i said, you will wear only those two balloons! they are your breastloons." "breastloons, that's funny, dad. i like that," hope said. "you do?" he said, his eyebrows twitching. "then you shall only wear two balloons too." half an hour later, dr. finch headed out of his house wearing his balloon-covered coat, holding his balloon-covered rainbow high above his head. pink balloons on pink ribbon trailed from his hat. hope and i followed a few paces behind him carrying a sign that read, UNITE THE FATHERS OF THE WORLD. TODAY IS WORLD FATHER'S DAY!!!!! i was covered with balloons; they were even tied through my belt loops. but hope had only two balloons, one over each breast. hope's younger sister anne walked behind us with her young son, poo. anne was annoyed that she'd been tricked into being in the parade, and refused to wear the breastloons, but she did carry one. and poo, of course, had six or seven balloons which were tied to his ankles and dragged on the ground. next was natalie. she'd agreed to the breastloons, but also insisted on wearing sunglasses and a large hat so that nobody she knew would recognize her on the street. my mother was at the tail end of the parade, looking extremely nervous and distracted. she held one small white balloon in her right hand and her cigarette in the other. she kept enough of a distance so that it appeared she'd just been an average woman, out on an average walk, who just happened to come upon a small white balloon which she just happened to pick up. i wasn't sure if she was ashamed in to be in the parade, or if she just needed to have her meds adjusted. "i'm not feeling all that well today," she'd told me earlier. "i'm in the middle of a new poem and it's extremely draining." [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: running with scissors by augusten burroughs in amusing in places | |
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Author: Steve Hogan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 07:19:02 11/21/02 Thu Author Host/IP: NoHost/64.30.15.252 TESTIFY BETTY >page 92: > >"we'll need more pink balloons for his hat," hope >said. "pink is his favorite color." > >in the end, we inflated about sixty balloons, tying >them to his hat, his umbrella, looping them through >the buttonholes of his long black wool coat that he >intended to wear despite the heat. we tied balloons >around our own waists and we even attached two >balloons to agnes, one over each breast. > >"i'm not going out in public like this," agnes >complained. "give me some more of them, so i can tie >some somewhere else. i can't have just these two." > >overhearing agnes's complaint, the doctor stepped into >the room, now dressed in his suit. "no, agnes," he >boomed. "these are the only balloons you should have. >you are the matriarch of the family, the great >breast-feeder, and that's what these balloons >symbolize." > >"oh, phooey," she said. "i don't buy it." > >"i said, you will wear only those two balloons! they >are your breastloons." > >"breastloons, that's funny, dad. i like that," hope >said. > >"you do?" he said, his eyebrows twitching. "then you >shall only wear two balloons too." > >half an hour later, dr. finch headed out of his house >wearing his balloon-covered coat, holding his >balloon-covered rainbow high above his head. pink >balloons on pink ribbon trailed from his hat. > >hope and i followed a few paces behind him carrying a >sign that read, UNITE THE FATHERS OF THE WORLD. TODAY >IS WORLD FATHER'S DAY!!!!! i was covered with >balloons; they were even tied through my belt loops. >but hope had only two balloons, one over each breast. > >hope's younger sister anne walked behind us with her >young son, poo. anne was annoyed that she'd been >tricked into being in the parade, and refused to wear >the breastloons, but she did carry one. and poo, of >course, had six or seven balloons which were tied to >his ankles and dragged on the ground. > >next was natalie. she'd agreed to the breastloons, but >also insisted on wearing sunglasses and a large hat so >that nobody she knew would recognize her on the street. > >my mother was at the tail end of the parade, looking >extremely nervous and distracted. she held one small >white balloon in her right hand and her cigarette in >the other. she kept enough of a distance so that it >appeared she'd just been an average woman, out on an >average walk, who just happened to come upon a small >white balloon which she just happened to pick up. i >wasn't sure if she was ashamed in to be in the parade, >or if she just needed to have her meds adjusted. > >"i'm not feeling all that well today," she'd told me >earlier. "i'm in the middle of a new poem and it's >extremely draining." [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Re: running with scissors by augusten burroughs in amusing in places | |
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Author: betty brant [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:09:43 11/21/02 Thu Author Host/IP: ppp-66-63-129-171.sndg-c5300-3.dialup.nethere.net/66.63.129.171 now i am reading [i]untimely meditations[/i] by friedrich nietzsche. if i encounter any funny passages i will post them. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: Re: running with scissors by augusten burroughs in amusing in places | |
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Author: Steve Hogan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:10:15 11/21/02 Thu Author Host/IP: NoHost/64.30.15.252 >now i am reading [i]untimely meditations[/i] by >friedrich nietzsche. if i encounter any funny passages >i will post them. That stuff's a scream I hear. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: Re: running with scissors by augusten burroughs in amusing in places | |
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Author: Steve Hogan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:10:17 11/21/02 Thu Author Host/IP: NoHost/64.30.15.252 >now i am reading [i]untimely meditations[/i] by >friedrich nietzsche. if i encounter any funny passages >i will post them. That stuff's a scream I hear. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |