WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN TITANIC -- Adilbrand Noblesword's Hall of Warriors

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Date Posted: 18:52:24 02/28/02 Thu
Author: BAD
Subject:

WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN TITANIC

WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN TITANIC

* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

* Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the
water.

* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter,
and Jedi material. Rose is just marriage bait.

* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or
steerage.

* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat
by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as
sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting
bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.

* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor
and treats his fianc�e like property. We know Darth Vader
is the bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets
for fun.

* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? *NOTE* Is
this a scary premonition: Anakin DeCaprio?

* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba
the Hutt.

* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking
ship, he would use the Force to get the key.

* Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."

* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament.
Leo simply freezes.

* Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!

* We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've antici-
pated, "Luke....I am your father"?

* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters;
everyone in Titanic was a minor character.

* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by
half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of
himself at the Oscars.

* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband,
3) pose nude for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if
you're infatuated, 5) let undesirables drown.
Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect
all life even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess,
5) save planet.

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Replies:

Re: WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN TITANIC -- Craig, 04:11:07 03/01/02 Fri
- tie-tanic -- craig, 04:14:58 03/01/02 Fri