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Date Posted: 20:23:38 10/05/02 Sat
Author: JesusFreak
Subject: Re: Special Dog Vom Knowledge
In reply to: Nastar 's message, "Special Dog Vom Knowledge" on 13:41:12 05/05/00 Fri

>The Four Types of Dog Vomit
>YELLOW URKA-GURKAS--Dog runs around the house and
>hides under furniture while making a prolonged
>'uuuurka-guuurka, uuurka-guuurka' noise. ( this noise
>is the only thing guaranteed to wake up a true dog
>lover who is hungover from a post dog show celebration
>at 330 am ) After mad scrambling to capture the dog
>and drag him outside the episode ends with an
>indelible ten yard line of slimy yellow froth from the
>living rug to back door.
>
>BLAP DISEASE--Dog exercises hard and A. eats large
>mouthfuls of snow (Winter Blap Disease) or B. drinks a
>bucket of water (Summer Blap Disease) Within 2 minutes
>of returning inside the dog spews out large amounts of
>clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive 'blap'
>sound and sharp percussive noise as it hits the
>linoleum.
>
>GARKS--Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and
>dramatic 'gggaark, gggark,' noises, generally followed
>by prolonged 'iiikssss' and then loud satisfied
>smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Don't
>investigate, you don't want to know.
>
>RALFS-- Appropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the
>dining room and waits until the innocent dinner guests
>are all watching him. Then with a single deep
>gut-wrenching 'raaaalfff' disgorges the entire week's
>contents of his stomach on the dining room rug.
>
>VARIATION-- then he eats it.
>
>In all the above events, the dog is entirely healthy
>and indeed deeply pleased with himself.

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