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Date Posted: 16:06:50 07/26/00 Wed
Author: Valerie
Subject: Valerie's letter of introduction

Hello, my name is Valerie. I just turned 31 and I am a homemaker from Ohio. I am married to a wonderful Canadian man I met on the internet 4 years ago. I also have 2 children. I have an 8 and a half year old "grown up" girl, and a 5 year old active little boy. They are the product of my first marriage of 5 years. Anyway, my hobbies include portrait painting/drawing, camping, cooking, singing, and crafts. Now that's the good stuff, I guess I should get to what I am here for.

Well, I've been reading alot of your letters, and I have to say, I don't really know if I felt anything was really wrong until now. I have had dizzy and fainting spells since I was a child. I had CT's done and EKG's, EEG's, blood work, and so on and so forth. All they found was that I was a little anemic. Oh by the way, I am the worst speller, in the world, especially when my sister isn't around to ask, like now. Anyway, they just told my mom not to worry, that I would grow out of it. I never did. I always felt really light headed after a bath, which is when I would usually black out as a child. I would just get out slowly and go lay on my bed until I felt good. I just thought all this was normal. I still don't really know if that has anything to do with MS or not, because I am still very undiagnosed.

I went to the ER on June 28, well actually it was more like the wee hours of June 29, anyway, it was for extreme dizziness, worse than usual. Also, the right side of my face kind of dropped slightly when I had this tightening behind my eye. They checked me out and thought I might have had a stroke. I am overweight, and a smoker of 11 years. They thought I was a little young, so I attracted alot of attention, that was until all my tests came back negative. They put me in a room and made a big fuss, and then as soon as my tests came back they arranged to send me home and then I never saw anybody again. Now I have a 4,000 dollar bill and nothing to show for it. The doctor who first saw me there, asked if I would be her patient. I felt so wanted. I agreed since I didn't have a doctor. Now comes the next part of my long story.

When I got home that afternoon, I decided not to have a cigarette. They really scared me at the hospital, and I was still waiting for a few blood clot tests. I was tired anyway, because they had kept me up all night with their little neuro tests. I took a nap and then woke up for a while until bedtime. I fell asleep that night and had strange sensations. I thought I was hallucinating. It felt like a marble was rolling through my veins and where it would stop, that is were I would get a twitch. I had to wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and that is unusual for me. The next day I experienced tingling and numbness of the arms, legs, and face. I called the doc and she said it was probably anxiety and that I would be fine, not to worry. I had an appointment set up with her on July 10 and she said that I will be fine until then. Later that day I lost my sense of taste and I would get that tightening around my head again and my eyes would start rapidly moving without my control. The tightening went to different parts. It happened around my neck so I couldn't breath very well and then around my abdomin and lower back, and then between my shoulder blades. The shoulder's released one at a time and it was weird because I was all crooked until it completely released.

I had a birthday party for my son and couldn't even host my own party, because I couldn't walk and had my first muscle spasm since all this started. I just wanted to cry in a corner somewhere. I saw the doctor the next day and of course most of the symptoms were gone by then. I was still limping a little, but I think she thinks all heavier people don't walk right. Anyway, I stumbled around the office and she did a couple little neuro tests and said she thinks I'm depressed and that she could give me an antidepressant. I asked her why I couldn't walk, because I could walk a couple weeks ago. Her response was that I walked to her and everything looked fine. Of course I could walk, but I wasn't walking normal. She knew what I had meant, but I think she thought I was faking everything and wasn't going to play along with me. I argued with her and argued until she left and came back with 3 choices. First choice, was to go on the antidepressant, second choice was to go on the antidepressant and then see a neuro, and third was just to see a neuro. I told her I will take number 3. I told her that they told my mother that everything was in her head and now she is dead. She just looked at me. Needless to say, I am searching for a new doctor and waiting for my first Neuro appointment. I haven't had any formal testing for MS, but every time I would look up a symptom on the internet it kept leading me to MS.

Well, that's my story. I don't know what's wrong with me, but all I know is it comes and goes and it's never the same thing from day to day. I have speech problems one day and walking problems the next. I don't have actual pain relating to anything, but the tightness I experience is pretty uncomfortable. The tingling and numbness is always there and it's mostly in my legs, feet and left arm now, though my sensations are lessened in most of my body. Today after living without my air conditioning for 2 days, I cannot walk easy. It feels like I ran a marathon yesterday and I am paying for it today. Oh yeah, as far as the smoking goes, I still have not had a puff, but whatever happened that first night, totally eliminated the physical urge to smoke. I would like to take the credit for stopping, but I wouldn't have been able to do this without that physical addiction taken away. I smoked probably 2 packs a day. I was pretty much a chain smoker and now I feel like I've never been a smoker. Pretty weird.

I guess I should end this now. It is really great to meet all of you and I love to write as you can tell, so feel free to send a Hi my way, I would love to have a penpal who can understand what I am going through. Well take care all and I am going to get back to reading the rest of the introduction posts. Talk at you later.

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