A vocabulary for Cretin Landover Baptists-the FILTHY Truth! -- Harmony's Civil Rights and Human Rights Forum

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Date Posted: 13:20:53 03/30/01 Fri
Author: Harmony 1972
Subject: A vocabulary for Cretin Landover Baptists-the FILTHY Truth!

Here is a "vocabulary" for those cretin Baptists (like Landover Baptist). After each term, I put in a traslation of what the term REALLY means!
I was born Christian and most of my friends are Christian, and this "vocabulary" is distorting the true Christian faith and misintrepretation of the Bible.

Anything that is added by me is indicated by this symbol (*), and remember, all of my translations involved heavy SARCASM!
--------------------------------------------------------

To all those just newly converted to the (*False) Christian (Baptist) faith,

Now that you have made the very wise decision to escape the flames of hell by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour (ie become a Southern Baptist)(* and nobody else?), it is important that you be informed of the terminology and lingo in which Godly Baptists converse on a day to day basis.
Below is a list of Godly True Christian Pro-Family Republican Baptist words and phrases (*yeah, right!), the meanings of which you should understand and memorize. It is important that we speak in our own language lest the heathens, liberals, demoncrats, commies, baby killers, feminazis, etc catch onto what we are saying. We are here to do God's work, and it is imperative that God's enemies not figure out what we are doing before we do it!

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM - The freedom of True Christians to do what we want and make the Bible law, without Godless liberals trying to stop us.
(*Translation: We'll replace the Constitution that was written by our country's founders with a 2000-year-old book that is based on myth)

RELIGIOUS PERSECUTION - Denying True Christians our God-given right to make the Bible (KJV 1611) law.
(*Translation: We must shove the Bible down every single Non-Baptist's throats)

FREEDOM OF EDUCATION - Closing down public education and giving the money to sectarian schools, so that children may be taught abstinence and creationism.
(*Translation: Teaching children that freedom to do what you please is evil, that sex is none-existint and that God created the animals and other races of human beings is a myth.)

DEMOCRACY - The right of True Christians to elect Godly republicans who will make the Bible law! Praise THE LORD!
(*Translation: The right to kill people, hit our wives and children, and do wierd things as the Bible says.)

COMMON SENSE VALUES - Every word of the Holy Bible (KJV 1611)!! GLORY!
(*Translation: Any word you don't see in the Bible is evil and dirty!)

THE RADICAL HOMO-SEXUAL AGENDA - An evil plot hatched by Godless anal-sex maniacs to persecute True Christians, destroy our families, mock Jesus, turn our sons into interior decorators and generally bring about the total destruction of civilization.
(*Translation: We stereotype gays and lesbians because they want to be treated like human beings, when we actually want to discriminate them. So we misinterpret the Bible to mock them.)

PROPER SEX EDUCATION - Teaching lusty teenagers that if they succumb to their carnal desires before marraige, God will roast their flesh in hellfire for eternity.
Disgusting instruments of Satan, "condoms" and "contraceptives", will be OUTLAWED. If a sinners contracts veneral disease, then it is their proper, well deserved punishment from GOD for being lechers and harlots.
(*Translation: We kill teens when they do what they please, no matter how careful (using protection, etc.) they are; sex should only be made for procreation and not for pleasure.)

PRO-DECENCY - Arresting people who privately view smut which is offfensive to True Christians.
(*Translation: We outlaw freedom of expression, even when they don't look offensive (i.e. Disney).)

PRO-LIFE - Sending women, who have the audacity terminate their pregnancies, to the gas chamber.
Praise Sweet Jesus in Heaven!!
(*Translation: We kill women who become bitches by succumbing to feminism.)

SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE - A Godless liberal myth, broadcast by Satan himself from the fiery pits of hell. What the founding fathers really intended was for Christianity to be the state religion.
(*Translation: We must outlaw all other religions that are not Bible-based.)

SEXUAL IMMORALITY - Anything that is not vaginal intercourse between a True Christian husband and his obedient wife for the sole purpose of procreation, with him on top, behind securely locked doors and with the lights out (to make the disgusting act even more Godly, Jesus would like us all to wear blindfolds during the ordeal).
(*Translation: Even making babies is dirty and offensive, so we take silly measures to make it clean.)

RONALD REAGAN - The greatest man in all of history, second only to Jesus Christ.
(*Translation: A White Baptist Straight Older Republican Man who cared only for the rich by taxing the poor.)

BILL CLINTON - The Antichrist.
(*Translation: Someone who cared anyone who is not white, Baptist, straight, rich, Republican and male. Someone who is too "goody-goody", so we framed him with that intern.)

WOMEN'S EQUALITY/RIGHTS - A left-wing code phrase for promoting lesbianism, abortion and witchcraft.
(*Translation: Women are made to be slaves to men, just like black folks to Southerns during the Civil War.)

TO PROMOTE (...) - To acknowledge the existence of (...), where (...) stands for anything True Christians (Southern Baptists) define as immoral.
(*Translation: Anything that is not taken from the Bible.)

ADULTERY - An action that automatically disqualifies a person from holding a public office, unless said person is a family-values True Christian Conservative (in which case it is a "youthful indiscretion").
(*Translation: We can forgive George Bush, but not Bill Clinton.)

LIBERAL - Someone who disagrees with anything said on the 700 Club.
(*Translation: Someone who watches non-Baptist TV. One who instead watches network TV and cable that deemed unGodly.)

GUNGRABBER - Anyone who does not agree with the NRA.
(*Translation: A wife/mother fearing for her life from her gun-totting husband, we he's trying to keep her in place. If she gets shot dead by him, TOO BAD.)

TREEHUGGER/ENVIRONAZI - Anyone who dares to question the Biblical Truth that God gave this planet to True Christians to plunder as we see fit.
Glory to Jesus!
(*Translation: We have the right to destroy the Earth. We can kill all endangered species.)

DECENT, HARD WORKING AMERICANS - Southern Baptists.
(*Translation: White, Male, Straight, Republican, wealthy Southern Baptists.)

PUBLIC LIBRARIES - Dangerous breeding grounds of immorality and independent thought.
(*Translation: A place that doesn't carry the Bible. Where people might read books that turn them into freethinkers and have the right to view their opinions.)

INDEPENDENT THOUGHT - A dangerous aberration that must be discouraged at all costs.
(*Translation: Baptists' minds MUST be controlled!)

OUR CHILDREN - 1. Every single child there is (with the exception of unsaved liberal children, of course, who don't count since they are going to hell anyway).
(*Translation: Any Baptist child whose mind have been controlled, who reads the Bible, and is treated like second-class citizens with no rights.)

2. An abstract entity that is the reason why everyone must hand over the country to True Christians who will make the Bible law. GLORY!
(*Translation: We must outlaw all the goody-goody stuff that is not offesive to children along with the very offesive stuff (ie pornography).)

OUR FAMILIES - Every single family in this country (except unsaved hellbound families of course).
(*Translation: Every single white, rich Baptist family.)

FAMILY VALUES - Outlawing godless queers and feminazis!
(*Translation: Kill all gays and turing women into second-class citizens with no rights.)

JUNK SCIENCE - Any scientific study which contradicts anything said in the King James (1611) Bible.
(*Translation: Only the KJV1661 bible is legal-all other Bibles are EVIL!)

ORAL SEX - A perverted sexual practice invented by William Jefferson Clinton.
(*Translation: A set-up by Republicans to see how "dirty" Clinton is.)

PAGAN WORLDVIEW - Any non-christian philosphy.
(*Translation: Non-christian baptists include Catholics, Buddists, Muslims, Islam, etc.)

PRO-FAMILY ADVOCATE - A Godly, True Christian (Baptist) Republican man who is not afraid to stand up to liberals, who's not afraid to stand up to feminazis and to tell women to learn their place (ie the kitchen), who's not afraid to knock some Godly sense into disobediant children, and who is not afraid to tell homos and other unsaved demons that they are going straight to hell.
AMEN!
(*Translation: A White, Straight, Rich, Baptist Republican Man who will turn all women into household slaves and baby makers and outlaw the idea that women, gays, the disabled, children and minorities should be treated like people. Close down any organizations that is not for white, straight, Republican, rich, Baptist male (ie NAACP, NOW, Earth First, PETA.)

SECULAR HUMANISM - A communist (satanic, atheist, homosexual) plot to destroy God's own country.
(*Translation: Humanity should be outlawed. The UN should be destroyed!)

EVOLUTION THEORY - A theory that we know is wrong, so we don't need to look at the evidence.
(*Translation: Only whites are the True human beings.)

SOCIAL ENGINEERING - Liberals trying to force their (im)morality onto everyone else. The only morality that should be forced on people is GOD'S (Southern Baptist) morality! Praise!
(*Translation: We Baptists must shove the KJV1611 Bible down everyone's throats-whatever they like it or not!)

TAKING BACK THE CULTURE - Forcing the everyone in the country to get down on their knees for Jesus, whether they want to or not!
(*Translation: Outlaw all cultures (ie Native American, African, Asian) and start appreciating white Baptist culture.)

MILITANT - A general attribute of godless civil rights groups.
(*Translation: The NAACP and NOW groups are Godless.)

COMPASSION - Verbally abusing people who do not share True Christian values.
Praise Jesus!
(*Translation: We kill non-Baptist people too.)

LOVE - Reminding unrepentant sinners again and again that their very existence is an abomination unto the Lord.
(*Translation: We don't really love the sinner, the Bible has it's flaws too, like that damn John 3:16 verse, which should never have been in there in the first place!)

THE NATURAL FAMILY - A white, born again, Southern Baptist, suburban Republican man with his submissive, staying-at-home wife and 2+ kids.
(*Translation: Any family that is NOT white, born-again, Southern Baptist, wealthy, and Republican with no staying-at-home wife and 2+ kids are hellbound!)

BIGOTRY - A liberal myth. It does not exist, except when directed towards True Christians.
(*Translation: We have the right to discriminate against and/or kill women, gays, lesbians, the disabled, children, blacks, Asians, Native Americans, Latinos, the poor, and anyone else who is not White, Straight, Rich, Baptist Republican and male. Anyone who commits bigotry against a White, Straight, Rich, Baptist Republican Man will be put to death and sent to the pits of Hell!!)

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Re: A vocabulary for Cretin Landover Baptists-the FILTHY Truth! -- fate_777, 21:00:51 04/12/01 Thu