sometimes words aren't enough -- "A Song For Justin"

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Date Posted: 07:14:55 01/01/04 Thu
Author: Lance
Subject: sometimes words aren't enough

to express all that is in my heart. i feel such sadness today ...this week. i'm not a naturally sad person, but sometimes i grieve.

in a few hours, it will have been 2 years. justin i miss you and i think of you a lot...whenever I hear a song, or read a poem, or for no reason at all, i'll see your face and think about you.

you were never a sad person when we talked. we always talked very enthusiasticly about music, bands, and gay rights and whatever was going on at school. we didn't always agree on everything because you were your own person. you knew what you believed in and i respected you so much. i was so proud of you. you would have been a great activist. a force to be reckoned with. you already were.

i feel that i do your memory an injustice because of the tears in my eyes, on my face. we didn't share tears when you and i talked. we shared laughter and ideas.

so today, in memory of how i knew you, laughing and strong and so wonderful, i share this song.

it always made you laugh - made me laugh
and so I post it here to honor that memory
of happier times
when we shared a song, shared a laugh.

i put this song on now, and crank up the volume. I can never hear this song as long as i live without thinking of you and getting a great big smile on my face. i know you can hear it and i know you're laughing and smiling.

for justin~

Her name is Noel
I have a dream about her
She rings my bell
I got gym class in half an hour
(screaming all together now)

Oh how she rocks
In keds and tube socks

But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me

(everyone at the top of your lungs)
Cause Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me
ooooooooo

Her boyfriend's a dick
And he brings a gun to school
And he'd simply kick
My ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
And he drives an Iroc
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me

(everyone as loud as you can)
Cause Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me
oooooooo

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely
Low and behold
She's walking over to me
This must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am
And why does she give a damn about me

I've tickets to Iron Maiden baby
Go with me Friday, don't say maybe
Im just a teenage dirtbag baby like you
oooooooooo

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's...missin'

(i know justin screamed these lyrics, laughing, dancing around)

Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah Im just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me
oooooooo

and now i'm smiling thru tears thinking of you, missing you. you're in my heart. you'll always be in my heart.

~ missing you today and always

Lance

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