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Date Posted: 02:15:40 08/25/02 Sun
Author: 終可回去百目鳥
Subject: 16.月浴

16.月浴

8月24日,你們陪我說和笑。談到過去,談到將來,你卻沒有問我,此刻的感覺。我只說我已經將所有的感慨都刪除了,為了生存,我沒有當詩人的餘裕。

就讓我在這兒悄悄告訴你吧,兩年前今日,我獨個在巴黎街頭過23歲生辰。第一次也是迄今為止唯一的一次歐遊之旅,兩個月去了9個國家20多個城市,只用了大概3萬港元。自然是克勤克儉,試過睡車站、一天只吃2排朱古力、迫火車無位坐旁邊有個韓國肥仔在嘔、經常捱餓、每去一站都要背著60磅重的行李四處找便宜旅館;更令人覺得難過的是,身旁總有很多一雙一對的情侶遊客,在白鴿廣場邊聽小提琴演奏邊吃海鮮喝紅酒……

而我卻和同伴失散孤身一人,站得累了就坐在街道,什麼也好少理地咬下一截乾硬的長麵包。當饑餓感被勉強填平了,免費的日落襯上慕名而久的古建築才顯得動人一點。

「算了吧。我是旅客,我有家終可以回去,在那兒各樣享受和溫暖也不欠缺。就當此刻的辛酸和孤寂是旅程的一部份,好應該仔細體味一下。」

縱然饑餓亦總不致死,我已有了「必窮」的決心,自然能夠活得理直氣壯。如果神的安排是如此的話,世界或黑暗亦阻擋不了我。

月光灑下,求讓我的鉛華盡洗。

2002/8/25-0105

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