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Date Posted: 01:39:00 04/04/03 Fri
Author: 不必掃興百目鳥
Subject: 91. 路過蜻蜓

路過蜻蜓

踏入三月下旬以後,我一直處於昏暈的渴睡狀態,也不知是悶熱潮濕的天氣影響,還是非典型病毒上腦的緣故。打開報紙,天天也是差不多的新聞。黃昏的時候互聯網上開始傳言,有個紅歌星跳樓自殺,陰謀論的老爸立刻提醒我今天是四月一日。後來連電視新聞也報導了,方證實生命本身才是最殘酷的笑話。

「讓我做隻路過蜻蜓,投下能被懷念過程,虛耗著我這便宜生命;」

大抵有些人較易聽信黑暗的甜言蜜語。在溝渠裡,於暗巷內,有時從建築物的陰影下方,總有某把聲音熱絡地向你招呼,一邊呵著霧氣一邊將誘惑放進你的耳道︰我會額外給你更多……

「讓你被愛是我光榮,無論誰在嫌我煽情,不笑納也不必掃興;」

得著的無非是虛無主義式的自由。那卻是沉淪之始,遠古的驕傲罪名,將成為黑色的錨石緊緊繫於你的頸項,至死方休。

「哭我為了感動誰?笑又為了碰著誰?看著你的眼,勾引我的淚,為何流入溝渠?不寄望會感動誰,只盼望會比你累,愛是你的愛,不吻我的嘴,又憑什麼流淚……」

天陰雨濛,行者不露人臉,紅雲懸浮於市,漠然一切的我撐了把傘在街上走;就成了一個絕佳的死亡意象。

03/04/01

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