What a wonderful world. -- The Leech Pit - Aphatic cries into the void

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Date Posted: 05:37:06 12/04/02 Wed
Author: Wally
Author Host/IP: 200-163-3-044-bsace7006.dsl.telebrasilia.net.br / 200.163.3.44
Subject: What a wonderful world.

I went through my old playlists, pre-FLAP, FLAP and early post-FLAP. It was amazing how accurately they depicted my moods and brutally stupid angsts.

I can recall the main circumstances around the addition of most songs. And it proved me wrong about each time I felt I was lowest, or highest.

I must enjoy this brief moment my traditional nihilism (which I don't believe in, that's the point) is overriden by happy happy hormonal chemical happiness induced by missing class and sleeping some more, and warp back to May 4, 2001, when I added to my playlist a song that went like this...

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you...

Yeah. If you forget average people's semantics for "wonderful" and remember what a wonder can be, you'd be surprised, should you actually beat yourself out of ennui for long enough to care, which you can't, for nothing would remain (warp back to December 8, 2000:)

BUT THE CRIES OF MY HATE
THE CRIES IN THE DARK THAT NOBODY HEARS
HERE AS I STAND AT THE TURNING OF THE YEARS

My current playlist has some long-time survivors, such as Fucking in the bushes, which has survived since Snatch came out, dunno when, Kite, and, of course,

Young at heart an it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now
Old at heart but I musn't hesitate
If I'm to find my own way out

Which is too Early-post-Tom-ish, but I keep it for the memories.

I have recently re-added PotO to my playlist, where it wasn't since the time I joined FLAP, while Amanita still went to the Java-based chat...

Past
The point of no return
No backward glances
The games we've played till now are at an end

What raging fire shall flood the soul?
What rich desire unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction lies before us...?

Which is perfectly unappropriate, and if I had known I'd soon be humming all the time...

I have run I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

I'd probably have saved some time and moped right there. And the Silencer came along, and we three (while Kharn ruled) were so (un)happy and testosterone ridden, and I think this is a later song, but it was so in that spirit...

I wanna fuck you liek an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside

And so it goes on, for ever. But there were times like

My life makes perfect sense
Lust and food and violence
Sex and money are my major kicks
Get me in a fight I like dirty tricks
'cos if you wanna run cool
Yes if you wanna run cool, you got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel

And the ever-present

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his eyes are
Wide

But then again there were times of inner peace, which I now understand were time when THE ROAR OF THE CRASHING WAVES OF MY SOUL BECAME SO LOUD IT DEAFENED ME, AND THE LANDSCAPE SEEMED FROZEN AND SILENT, AND BEAUTIFUL AND PEACEFUL FOR A WHILE, which is not a song, I'm saying it, and then I listened to

Got a feelin' that I'm wastin' time on you babe
Got a feelin' that you've been untrue
I got a feelin' that you're stealin'
All the love I thought I was givin' to you

And then again there were day of wine and

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me
I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

And there was gladiator, which has no lyrics, and there was pi, which I can't get the lyrics, and... oh... early Perf days in FLAP-songs... Go Como Go!

Find a wheel and it goes round, round, round
As it skims along with a happy sound
As it goes along the ground, ground, ground
Till it leads you to the one you love

And there were megalomania days

One always picks the easy fight
One praises fools, one smothers light
One shifts from left to right
Politics, the art of the possible

Which, for some reason, coincided with closest-to-Tom days.
And then there were Shok-songs, and behold, for they, on average, sucked.

Oh wait, they ussually didn't have lyrics, or they had strange vociferations of obscenity.

Ah, groovy, earliest-post-Lurker-departure-first-Silencer-going-ping-heart-days-song.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she always gone too long anytime she goes away

And, considering how carefully I avoid giving out my pre-FLAP activities, I shall finish after this tiny tidbit of piece of clue of hint of trace of possibility of truth.

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rains will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay

Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
'Cause nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are
How fragile we are, how fragile we are

Which proves, once more, how wisdom comes and goes.

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Replies:

And for the last time... -- Urwen, 10:08:40 12/12/02 Thu
- Hah! You'd love to know, wouldn't you. -- Wally, 07:23:07 12/14/02 Sat
  - If you don't tell I'll have us officially assume "Ashley". (NT) -- Aristohirudes, 23:57:35 12/14/02 Sat
    - Cha cha cha! (NT) -- Wally, 07:05:27 12/15/02 Sun
      - I presume that means I am correct? (NT) -- Aristohirudes, 21:34:53 12/15/02 Sun
        Let's just say that... -- T�nnh�user-W, 16:49:15 12/16/02 Mon
        Ashley? -- Urwen, 02:31:00 12/17/02 Tue
        I said... -- Elektro-W, 15:16:10 12/17/02 Tue

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