Wally's News Digest Number One. -- The Leech Pit

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Date Posted: 15:05:01 10/16/02 Wed
Author: Wally
Author Host/IP: 200-163-1-124-bsace7006.dsl.telebrasilia.net.br / 200.163.1.124
Subject: Wally's News Digest Number One.

EDITORIAL

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunk
Assssssssssssssssssssssss!

FDA FOREVER!

Today, onna news...

SNIPER DUDE KILLS FBI GIRL
"FALLS CHURCH, Virginia (CNN) -- A witness to the latest Washington-area sniper attack told authorities that he saw a man brandishing a weapon on his shoulder in the Monday night shooting, and it is believed the shot was fired from 30 yards away, sources said Wednesday."

This would be nicely scary, if it happened within a many thousand miles radius of me. So far, however, this nice guy has killed only his compatriots, showing how capable the average american is of possessing firearms.
Let's raise a glass for this guy. Even though he missed the kid.

NO SHIT, MR PRESIDENT!
"WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush, calling Saddam Hussein a dangerous man, said Wednesday after meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon that he was certain Sharon would retaliate if Iraq attacked Israel."

Ohmygod, Sharon actually may NEED an excuse to use excessive force! Only a possibility, though!

ROCKET GOES POOM!
"MOSCOW (Reuters) -- A Russian Soyuz rocket carrying a research satellite exploded seconds after blast-off, killing one person in a setback that could hit the international space station program, officials said on Wednesday."

Godmotherfucking soviets. Can't even die without setting back science.

PILOT ON HEAVY FUEL
"HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- A Continental Airlines pilot who was pulled from a flight after an altercation with a federal air marshal tested positive for alcohol, the Federal Aviation Administration said Wednesday."

What? A man who can actually spend 11 hours without drinking is the truly dangerous man.
So much for a joy ride.

SADDAM DEMOCRATIC HERO
"BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) -- Saddam Hussein won another seven-year term as Iraq's president in a referendum in which he was the sole candidate, taking 100 percent of the vote, the Iraqi leader's right-hand man announced Wednesday."

Well, last election was 96%. This, gentlemen, is nattural selection at its best.
Besides, a majority is much more than Bush can claim to have had on his.

MARKETING CHANGES TO BOOST RATINGS
"VATICAN CITY -- Pope John Paul II has marked the 24th anniversary of his papacy by introducing changes to the Rosary, the prayers said using sets of beads."

Duh! Even Friends had to be cancelled someday! It's change or die out in SHOWBIZZZ!

Those were the news, and be glad I won't do this again.

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Replies:

It was 99,96% -- Silencer, 20:25:27 10/16/02 Wed
- Tis all CNN. (NT) -- Wally, 02:45:59 10/17/02 Thu
And amen to THAT -- Aristohirudes, 22:30:46 10/16/02 Wed
- Too bloody right. (NT) -- Urwen, 00:45:54 10/18/02 Fri
  - You... you... you of little faith. (NT) -- Wally, 20:14:26 10/18/02 Fri

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