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Date Posted: 17:37:37 02/08/02 Fri
Author: Charlie
Subject: What would you say?
In reply to: Wes 's message, "Tell anyone about my brother?" on 08:30:20 02/08/02 Fri

At the age when you were involved it was more like experimentation than an affair. I would chalk it up to normal childhood play and leave it at that. Unless you subscribe to the theory that someone can be made str8 or gay, then it really doesn't have anything to do with your orientation now. Since your brother isn't here anymore to defend himself then I wouldn't mention it. My opinion, but you have to make your decision. Think about these questions:

You didn't say at what age your brother lost his life. Was he old enough to determine his own orientation? If he was still living and str8, would you bring up your childhood activities to your father?

I personally believe that having a close, loving relationship, even with physical sex, does not determine your overall sexual preferences. Our sexual preference seems to be a more general feeling, rather than focusing on an individual. When did you decide you were gay? Before or after your brother was killed?

Would revealing your childhood activities with your brother make you feel more or less at peace with yourself? With your father?

Whatever you decide, stress the love and companionship, not the sex. Sex is such a small part of our lives, yet we accord it a very dominant position.


Hugs, Charlie

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