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Date Posted: 06:07:36 02/08/02 Fri
Author: Zora
Subject: Re: The Gathering
In reply to: Scribe 's message, "The Gathering" on 16:28:15 02/03/02 Sun

Scribe, I want to apologise for not having reviewed this yet. It definitely merits it, and you have been an active forum user so you deserve it too. I read it a few days ago, and again today, and I'm still having trouble putting my thoughts together about it.

It seems very cinematic - I bet you had strong images in your head of the people, the place, and the way they interacted with each other. Unfortunately I found it hard to share it with you, because it takes a while to describe, and at a stage where you are not yet involved with the characters or the story. It obvious that there's a lot going on, and perhaps you intended for the reader to feel like an outsider, or an eavesdropper...? but for me I felt that went a little too far.

It would be better as a second scene or chapter in a story than an opening, IMHO. Something I've noticed in a lot of successful books & films - they open with something which allows the reader (or viewer!) to click quickly with the characters and the situation, so that they get drawn in nice and smoooooothly, right from the start. Make us think too hard too soon and we are likely to switch off. Sorry.

However, that said, the bigger picture that you hint at here did get my interest and I would like to read more :)

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