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Date Posted: 07:59:04 04/23/12 Mon
Author: Mom
Subject: Never imagined it would be this hard . . .

My 21-year-old daughter, who is an otherwise beautiful, intelligent, accomplished, and caring young woman, came home from Uni for a visit last weekend with a girl her father and I had assumed (erroneously, and a bit naively, I suppose, in hindsight) was just a good friend of hers from school. She has talked about her to me over the phone, has said nothing but fantastic things about her, and had finally decided to bring her home to "meet the family". I like the girl very much, think she's fantastic, well-mannered, and very similar to my daughter. Here's the issue: they seemed, from the outset, extremely close (closer than most girls are with their girlfriends), slept in the same bed, and left me with the impression (after the weekend was over) that there was something going on there. Yesterday, my daughter drove home for the day (for lunch, shopping, and a walk) and told me that she is a lesbian, is currently dating the girl she had brought home, and hopes that her dad and I can accept it. I feel like a horrible mother for never having seen this coming, and not knowing exactly how to respond. She had never shown an interest in boys before, but I had always assumed that she was just too focused on sports and academics to have time for that sort of thing. She's very feminine, not "butch" at all, and is an extremely strong and moral person. This came completely out of left field. My family is religious, but I don't want to lose my daughter over this. I'm just finding this so difficult to accept. The idea of her sleeping with - and falling in love with - a girl, is almost too much for me to wrap my head around. Has anyone else had to deal with a child coming out? How long does it take to feel comfortable with it, if ever? And am I a horrible mother for wishing this would just be a phase?

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