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| Subject: *Eclipse* Part Five...Feedback! | |
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Author: Kira |
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Date Posted: 19:12:00 05/14/02 Tue Chapter Five~ Untitled Alexandria shouldered her bag, pulling her glasses over her puffy eyes and exited the exam room. Dr. McNeal was a great comfort and encouraged Alexandria to see a psychologist to help her deal with the loss of her baby. She promised the doctor that she’d think about it, but with her new job, she didn’t have the time. Physically the doctor assured her that she had healed well. Pulling down her sleeves, sore and bandaged from the blood that was taken, she continued down the hall. She headed to the secluded waiting room and sighed. Justin and JC were already finished. JC was sipping on a carton of orange juice and Justin was sitting next to him, his lips pressed into a firm line, arms crossed over his chest. She drew in a deep breath to rid her voice of the inevitable tears that fell during the examination and pinched some color into her pasty olive cheeks. Then she entered the room, a shaky smile plastered to dry lips. “That took way longer than I thought,” she exclaimed with a shrill laugh. JC smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. “I always have to sit after I get blood work anyway.” Alexandria nodded. He did look very pale. “Are you guys ready to go? I’ve got some things to take care of.” Justin rolled his eyes and stood up. He hid his enraged stare behind his mirrored sunglasses and headed out into the parking lot, climbing into the van, not allowing Alexandria to climb in ahead of her. He didn’t even bother to pick up her wallet that slid out of her leather bag. Luckily, JC spotted it. She settled in the van, pulling on her seat belt. “Justin, I have some things that I want to wrap up with the charity before we leave for the tour day after tomorrow. Do you think you could come by at the dinner break and we could have a little meeting?” Alexandria posed as the van pulled out in the roads. “No.” Justin replied sternly. JC cuffed him on the back of the head, sending him a paternal glare that Justin simply shrugged off. “See, JC, Justin’s proved the entire medical community wrong. Males do get PMS…” ** Justin jogged down the halls of the practice venue. His stride was easy and he was finally able to release some tension from the day, from his inadvertent discovery. He bounded through the concrete corridors, searching for someone specific. His blue eyes, deep and wet, squinted against the wind created by his speed. Justin spotted Lance, talking animatedly on his cell phone and he snagged the shorter man by the collar, pulling him into a darkened room. He breathed deeply, pushing past Lance to search for a light switch. Undaunted, Lance finished his conversation in the dark. The called ended quickly. “What is with you today, Justin?” his voice was deep and smooth. “Alexandria…Lacey whatever the hell her name is.” “I thought you liked our little Lacey,” he chuckled. Justin blindly patted the wall, but gave up his search for the light. He leaned against it, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know what to think. I found out what she’s hiding and I don’t know what to do with it, Lance.” Lance’s green eyes widened, lightened with delight. “You could tell me,” he prompted, licking his lips hungrily. “That I could.” “So…what’s she hiding?” “I’m not going to tell you, Lance.” “Why not?” “Because…um, I don’t know. She went through a lot of trouble to keep this hidden and it’s not something that will hurt us, so why should I go blathering it to everyone when I just so happened to overhear a conversation I shouldn’t have?” he questioned, looking in Lance’s general direction. Lance sighed with frustration. But he did his best to see through his haze of distrust to give Justin the best possible advice. “Maybe you just should talk to her about it.” “Yeah…I will…I’ll do it right now…” Justin patted his way out of the dark room and began his impatient stride once more. He rounded corners easily and skidded to a stop outside Alexandria’s small office. It was empty. “Where the hell is she?” he wondered. Shrugging his shoulders, he headed to the break room and heard Alexandria’s voice inside. He peered inside the door and watched her and Joey silently. Alexandria pushed her long braid over her shoulder as she leaned over Joey’s swollen knee. She draped a towel over the battered flesh before slowly adding a large rubber ice pack. Sitting down on the floor at Joey’s feet, she gazed up at the man. “How you doing, Joe?” she questioned sincerely. Joey answered her by simply covered his face with his hands and whimpered dismally. Alexandria laughed pitifully and stood up on her knees. She pulled his hands away and kissed his nose, ignoring the fact that he looked simply awful. With the sickly, almost gray appearance to his skin and the ever-present shadows that clung under his eyes, she wondered how he had the strength to keep going. To get up at nearly four am and make it to the practice field, even if he wasn’t rehearsing. She admired his spirit. Alexandria laid her head on Joey’s shoulder. She could feel the warmth through his shirt. He was running a fever. “I got you something,” she whispered. “What?” Alexandria held up a thick, rectangular package wrapped in comic book paper and handed it to him. Joey lazily tore into it and his eyes lit up. He smiled devilishly. “I have to say you are the first girl that has ever bought me porn,” he chuckled. “Aw, such an honor. It always made my friend feel better.” “Sasha?” Joey questioned. “Yep.” She stood up and pressed another kiss to his forehead. “You oogle your girlies and I’ll check on your later?” “You don’t have to tell me twice.” Joey grinned and dove into his magazine. Alexandria yawned as she walked out into the hall, running right into Justin. She pushed herself away from his firm body and gazed up at him. Fatigue flashing through her face. “Excuse me,” she said before moving around him. Justin’s anger and frustration softened as he watched her care for his best friend. He wanted to thank her, so he caught her arm, moving to pull her back to him and Alexandria nearly screamed. She slapped Justin’s hands off of her and pushed him into the hard concrete wall. “You know, I don’t know whats up with you and Lance, and why you like cornering people in dark hallways, but leave me the hell alone!” Justin growled in annoyance and moved to follow her, but Alexandria virulently thrust his lanky form against the wall again. “See,” she began noticing his wince. “It’s not very fun, is it, Justin?” “See, I kinda liked it,” Justin countered with an amused smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you or whatever,” he continued. The coldness in her stance melted away, her shoulders relaxed and she blinked up at him blankly. “I’m sorry, Justin, I’m just…tired, I guess, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” “It’s okay…we’re all kinda tired…” Justin’s words died on his lips as Alexandria’s eyes widened and her obscenely long eyelashes glistened with buds of tears. Her breathing was loud, amplified by earth-shattering panic. Justin turned around to see Chris and Lance fawning over Maria, the woman that Alexandria replaced. She was leaning against the wall, laughing as Lance nervously placed his hands on her swollen stomach. Justin blindly placed his hands on Alexandria’s shoulders and he was surprised to feel her trembling beneath his large hands. “Dria, what’s wrong?” Alexandria couldn’t speak. Her mouth was dry and her voice was frozen. The woman was beautiful, with short black tresses that curled in slick ringlets of perfection. Her skin was smooth with just a hint of pigment and her eyes were dark and filled with a motherly mirth, one that she saw in her own eyes. Alexandria’s breath caught her chest as she stared at her stomach, round and bursting with life. She watched as Chris’ small hands rubbed it smoothing and then flew off, he’d obviously been kicked. Blinking away tears, she remembered the way it felt, how blessed SHE felt to feel him kicking or hiccupping, getting ready for life. “Justin! Hey darlin’!” Maria called, trotting down the hall. Justin smiled nervously. “Baby, don’t run, you’re pregnant.” “Twins!” she giggled. “Two girls, can you believe that!” Justin enveloped her in his arms and smiled brightly. “No, sweetie, I can’t.” “Oh, it’s great. I’m so overwhelmed, but it’s such a good feeling. I’m sorry I had to leave my boys though. I’m going to miss you guys so much…” Justin kissed her quickly on the mouth. “We’re going to miss you too, Maria. Are you here long?” “No, I just came to meet my replacement and give her a few things for the tour and of course say goodbye to my boys. Is that her? Back there, oh, she’s young! Britney better watch out, huh?” she giggled. “Yes, that’s Alexandria. Um, she’s not feeling well right now, I don’t think it’s a good idea, since you’re pregnant and everything…” Maria rolled her eyes and patted his cheek. “You worry too much,” she advanced towards Alexandria, who had still braced herself against the wall. “Hey, honey, I’m Maria,” she held out her hand for Alexandria to shake, but the young woman just stared at it. Her hand gently cupped Maria’s and she forced a smile. “Hi…” “I’m Maria.” “Y-yes, the guys have…told me so much…about you,” Alexandria stammered as her eyes remained frozen on her stomach. “Justin told me you weren’t feeling well…” Maria began. “I have tons of stuff to go over with you…” “It must be the heat…I’m not used to it,” she muttered. Maria glanced worriedly as Chris, Lance and Justin, frowning. Justin bit his lip and gently placed an arm around her shoulders. Alexandria clung to his shirt and muttered softly. “Maria, is it? I’m feeling a little woozy, um, I got a lot of blood taken today. Why don’t you go visit with the rest of the guys and I’ll grab some food and find you in a few minutes?” Maria nodded. “Sure.” Alexandria managed a shakily smile and walked on rubbery legs to her small office. She entered the small room, tapping her lips in a demanding manner. With trembling hands, she hurried to her leather bag and searched frantically though it’s many pockets. The aged leather squeaked as she dug in the very bottom of the bag, digging out an old, smashed carton of cigarettes and Sasha’s metal lighter. She flew out of the office, running through the nearest exit. Alexandria lit the cigarette, dragging deeply, draining it of its nicotine. Her hand ran absently over her stomach, with just a slight bulge where life used to be. Alexandria was too distraught to cry. Too overcome with torrents of emotion that she had battled and lost and then ran from. Her mind was blank, because her heart was full of a womanly ache, a maternal emptiness. A burden of black. Justin peered through the door as Alexandria lit her second cigarette. “Hey.” “Go. Away.” “I overheard something today…something I don’t think I was meant to hear. At the doctors office.” No reaction. “Secret’s out.” Another long slow drag. “I didn’t mean to hear that, really.” “You obviously judged me on something you didn’t know anything about. Thanks, Justin.” “I didn’t want to, Alexandria.” “It was a boy,” she answered, glancing up at him with hollow eyes. “Three pounds, nine ounces.” “Was?” “He died 12 days after he was born.” The ash teetered on the end of her cigarette. Justin closed his eyes, his face contorted in pain. “Garret Alexander Kinsington. He didn’t look a think like me,” Alexandria laughed woodenly. “He had these dark eyes, really dark and a tiny, dark curls. He was so small. And beautiful. But he was born early…his little lungs couldn’t take the shock of the world. I was holding him and rocking him and it just looked like he was asleep. He was still warm. His fingers were still curled around my thumb. But he was so tired…he wasn’t ready to live yet.” “I’m so sorry.” “I’ll show you a picture sometime…” Alexandria finished her second cigarette, only to start another. “I’ll finish this one and get back to work.” Justin placed a hand around her shoulders, hoping to comfort her, but he knew such a simple gesture wouldn’t help. Alexandria’s gaze went undisturbed as she bent robotically into Justin. Still staring into the field surrounding the venue. “You really don’t have to. I can just say you’re sick or something and you can go back to the hotel. I’ll get that list from Maria, if you want.” Alexandria arched an eyebrow. “When you have a fever, do you stop working?” “No.” “Then I’ll be in after I finish the pack.” Justin shoved his hands forlornly in the pockets of his pants and was reluctant to leave her alone. The lost glimmer in her eyes and the subtle throbbing of her bottom lip caused an ache of sympathy to form in his stomach. He was slightly nauseous as he tried to view the world through Alexandria’s eyes. The closest situation he could even fathom was his niece. She’d brought him so much laughter and light and he discovered a gentler side of himself because of her. Justin simply couldn’t image himself without her and she was born just six weeks ago. He wanted to offer her some words of solace, advice that would at least make her smile- he couldn’t remember the last time she actually smiled. But he couldn’t. he kicked the dirt with frustration before slipping back into the doorway and trudging back to the stage. ** The tour was rapidly approaching and Alexandria poured herself into her work. She left it overwhelm her and focused on nothing else, but work and the touring that was starting in just days. She loved fashion and the goals that Justin wanted to achieve with his charity. Alexandria also felt very blessed to be a part of something spectacular and freeing. A part of her was actually excited to get on the road and battle the chaos that came with it. She hadn’t heard much of the CD and she was falling over herself with anticipation of the performances. The rest of her mind struggled to ignore everything that was apart of her before she got in her car in Boston and got out in Los Angeles. She longed and wished and prayed that her first memories could be gassing up her old car detailed with dents and rust, stopping in some serene field in the Midwest to eat lunch or looking over the vastness of the Grand Canyon. But those wishes were never granted. The prayers were never answered. And her head often throbbed with the effort. Chris burst through the door, a menacing grin consuming his face. He pulled the blue blow pop out of his mouth and laughed, displaying blue-tinged teeth. Running his fingers through his damp hair, he grinned again, leaning against the door. Then, his face grew stern and he smelled each of his armpits before speaking. “Do I offend you with my funk?” Alexandria stuck her pen behind her ear and did her best to smile. “No.” “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague since Maria arrived, what’s up?” “Maria said it was a good idea for me to get as much work done as I could, because after the tour we’re going to have to play catch-up.” Chris’ brow furrowed at the lack of strength in her shoulders and voice. He slid down the wall. “What’s wrong?” he asked sincerely. Alexandria bit her lip thoughtfully. “Nothing.” Shane, the tour manager, Johnny Wright and Tony, the assistant choreographer, poked their heads into the room with a gleaming, yet mischievous smile. “It is time.” Johnny answered. He held up a blindfold and his simper widened. “We can do this the hard way or the easy way, you decide.” Alexandria rolled her eyes and stood up. She pulled down her pink tee shirt and pulled back her hair, clipping it easily at the base of her neck. “The easy way. It’s too hot to be fighting you guys.” She turned around and drummed her fingers against her arm as Johnny tied the blindfold tightly. “I guess this is what Lance warned me about, huh, Chris?” she questioned through veiled eyes. “He warned you?” “Yep. He was all mysterious with his deep voice, saying things, like don’t fight the crew.” “He must really like you then, because he loves this…” Alexandria flinched when large hands were firmly placed on her back, shoulders and elbows…but Chris reassured her when he took her hand. She could tell it was his because the fingers were soft and stubby, the palms were a bit calloused. “Don’t let me walk into a wall or anything, Chris.” “I got you babe!” Chris’s voice was directly above her and she smiled, imagining him strutted backwards, holding her hands. Then he started to sing, loudly. “They say we’re young and…” His voice was mello laced with a manly joy that she had never heard before. His tone was sweet and Alexandria squeezed his larger hand as Johnny guided her up a set of steep stairs. Her sandaled feet now rested on something solid, with a hollow ping. With a few more steps, she realized that she was on the stage. Her head jerked to the left as she head laughter and a loud applause. The blindfold was removed and Alexandria was shocked to see the entire crew. Alexandria wanted to run, but she knew that wasn’t possible. “Initiation…” she muttered under her breath. Johnny stood in front of her and laughed, grabbing the microphone. “Everyone new person on this crew has to go through some sort of initiation. We’ve done them one by one and our lovely Lacey Alexnadria is the last to be hired. So this is yours. It’s relatively simple. We’re a musically based group. So you either have to do something musical or you have to take the plunge. And go up in the harness, which is about five stories up,” Johnny pointed to tracks of wires that were barely visible from the stage. Alexandria really wanted to be apart of this family. She wanted to feel loved and appreciated and needed. She scratched the side of her head and looked nervously out at the crowd formed around her. Joey was grinning, holding his cane like a cello, strumming back and fourth with an imaginary bow. Alexandra winked at him and nodded. “Um, as much as I’d love to plummet to my death, I’ve decided to do something musical,” she responded. She ran off stage, back to her tiny office and grabbed her cello. She tugged the cumbersome instrument back to the stage and pulled up a chair. She freed the instrument from its case and sat down, placing it between her legs. Searching her mind for a melody, her berried lips slid in an arrogant grin and she closed her eyes, positioning her bow. A familiar tune resonated throughout the arena, Alexandria’s eyes remained closed despite the audible gasps that were emitted after just after strums of her bow. Alexandria had spent years learning how to play by ear, now she could play almost anything, after only hearing it once. Finishing the last notes of “Gone”, she opened her eyes to wholehearted applause… [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
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| Re: *Eclipse* Part Five...Feedback! | Gina Z. | 21:24:11 05/14/02 Tue |
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