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| Subject: *Silence Part 4* | |
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Author: Kira |
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Date Posted: 20:58:59 03/19/02 Tue carved door and set the bag inside. “Don’t even think of carrying this bag upstairs, J,” he scolded. “God, I’m not CRIPPLED!” Joey’s face hardened with a cool anger and his left hand began wringing his right fervently. “Justin...” “I’m sorry,” Justin added quickly. “I won’t carry it upstairs.” “Good to know we won’t be carting you to the hospital again…” Joey growled, nostrils flaring. “I got it, man.” Joey twirled his keys around his middle finger before scratching his thick beard. “I guess I’m off then. Take care of yourself, I’ll call you soon, Ju.” ** The house was silently, peaceful so. After inspecting his home for the next few weeks, Justin was splayed out on the deck, sipping a pot of fairly bland iced tea, admiring the New England sunset. The milky, pastel rays of the sun washed over him and Justin closed his eyes, memorized the symphony of peace that had actually stopped his perpetually whirring mind. He wiggled his toes, the sweet breezes seeping through them and sighed. This was heaven. He soon fell asleep, tea in hand, feet bare and a soothing smile on his face. ** He awoke to the offending, choking chug of an old automobile. And startled awake, his eyes flying open, tea spilling in his lap. Justin flew out of the chair as the cold liquid soaked in his legs, yelling at its chill. His eyes snaked upwards, darting towards the road. He squinted through the orangy haze, cupping his hands around his eyes as he saw a dainty-shaped woman kiss a taller man, holding his hands as the cabdriver unloaded her bags. Something stirred within him and Justin found himself creeping through the tall clusters of wildflowers to catch a better glimpse of her. Her face was shielded by the broad shoulders of the man accompanying her, but Justin could clearly see her hands. Long fingers, designed for playing the piano, rested on his shoulders. The fingers were so delicate, graced by simple coils of silver. The nails were not fake, acrylic tips, but real, long and painted an iridescent shade of lavender. Justin because enthralled with the gentle way they glided against the yellow fabric of her friend’s sweater and he found himself longing to caress them. He startled from his thoughts as he suddenly felt exceedingly tired. The doctors explained that he would need much more sleep than he was used to and Justin forgot about the woman with the beautiful hands and trudged into the house, up into the yellow bedroom with a king-sized sleigh bed and a large balcony with French doors that faced the ocean. He slipped into a pair of dry shorts, yawning fiercely and settled against the pillows and was soon fast asleep. It was dark when Justin startled awake, with swarms of nightmares creeping about his slumbering mind. They had been filled with visions of a figure lurking in the shadows, Strawberry’s playful growl suddenly smothered and the eerie tingling of glass shattering. His eyes snapped open, head aching slightly, gazing at the unfamiliar peaked ceiling above him and it took a moment of harsh breathing and rapid thought to regain his bearings. The phone rang loudly from the nightstand and Justin reached out, fumbling for the receiver. “Hey, Lance,” he smiled slightly. “How’d you know it was me?” he rumbled before chuckling tiredly. “Sixth sense, I guess.” “Do you see dead people?” “Kiss my hairy, white ass.” “You’re sounding more like Justin everyday,” Lance grinned. “Damn straight.” “What are you doing? Laying down, I hope.” “Yeah, I am. I just get so tired so suddenly. It’s not like a have choice,” Justin explained quietly and he buried himself beneath the warmth of the blankets. Lance grunted dismally and closing his eyes. “It’ll happen for awhile. You just need to rest.” “Yeah. How’s…everything there…how’s the press handling everything?” he asked gently. Lance smiled. No one could snuff Justin’s star. It may be dulled for a time, but the luster would soon return, glowing brighter than ever. “Oh no, you don’t think that Joey and I picked a place so out of tune with the media on PURPOSE did you, Justin? Things here are just fine. Wonderful. Great. Stupendously incredible. Don’t worry about it. We have PR people for that.” “Lance, this is just weird…I’ve NEVER been gone so long.” “Dude, it’s been a DAY. You have 20 more left.” Lance didn’t miss the frustration in his voice. Justin had never been one to sit still. “Okay…I’ll fill you in. JC is on a writing binge…he’s cranking out all of these ballads. And they’re amazing as usual. He misses you though...and it’s only been, like, a DAY. Chris is working on the Fu Fall line for men, he’s so excited and he keeps snatching Joey and just tries shoving him in all these clothes. It’s hilarious. Joey is seriously hiding from him so he can spend time with Bri. Uh, I’m doing the usual. Working. Oh, this is the best part,” Lance nearly giggled. “Dani brought Chris LUNCH today. The man is, like, floating on air now because she brought him some Taco Bell. It’s cute and good to see him being the little devil he is. Something’s gonna happen there, Just. Just you wait. There, now you’re all caught up. Feel better?” “Yeah, thanks, JAMES,” Justin rolled his eyes and his tone was laced with sarcasm. “Tell Jace I miss him too. I miss all of you guys and…my dog and my girlfriend…if she’s even that. But this house is nice…it’s missing the simple things like pictures and little knick-knacks, but it’s very homey and comfortable. You and Joey did a great job. Thanks.” “No problem. I’ll try not to call tomorrow, you know me, though.” “It’s fine. I like the calls. And I understand completely,” Justin resigned. Lance pinched the bridge of his nose, running his fingers through his spikes. “I just wanna kick your ass, Justin. And kick my own ass for not…” Justin interrupted. “Don’t even go there, Lance. Please. Let’s just talk later and you can kick my ass when we get back. Okay. Let’s not toss the blame around.” “Yeah…okay. Sorry. You get some rest and have fun. Go exploring or something. I know how you love to do that.” “Yeah. You be good. Don’t start anymore businesses while I’m gone.” “Shut UP, Justin…” ** Justin waltzed into the kitchen, headphones blaring in his ears, stomach rumbling. He had spent most of the day unpacking, putting his things in their rightful place- stacking his aftershave and lotions in the bathroom. It was nice to actually be able to unpack. Justin took joy in hanging up his clothes in the closet and setting them in the drawers. Justin placed framed pictures of his family on the sofa table in the living room, attempting to make himself at home. It was now mid-afternoon and he had already revisited Stevie Wonder’s Greatest Hits, Thriller and Control. Now, India.Arie’s sweet, husky voice filtered through his ears, drenching his soul and perspective in rich spirit. Justin rifled through the fridge, famished. The house only had pre-made salads, bottled water, caviar and fruit. The cupboards were bare and he was hungry for food that wasn’t so healthy or pretentious. With a sigh and an indifferent shrug, he stepped into his tennis shoes and laced them up. Leaving the headphones on his ears, Justin eased out into the carmel sunshine of the day. He was surprised about how warm it was. It was the middle of September, but the Maine air still held the tepid softness of summer. Justin walked down the road, past the neighboring house. But boredom was creeping up on him and he found himself wandering around the house’s sun-drenched rooms, searching for anything to do. He hadn’t been separated from his brothers for such a long period of time and was starting to get restless. He flopped on the comfortable sofa in the family room, flipping through all the premium channels. But he couldn’t sit still long enough to get concentrate on the movies. His walk was tranquil and Justin felt invigorated to be in the crisp, fresh air. Justin drew in deep breaths as he walked down the rather steep hill and onto the main road. The sun was shining and the people were milling about the streets. Justin shoved his hands in his pockets, slipped on his sunglasses and turned his backwards Titans hat to the front, allowing the shadow created by the brim to fall over his eyes. His body involuntarily stiffened when he walked through crowds, especially without security and his demeanor changed. Justin shrank inside himself, keeping his head bowed. “Son, you’re going to walk into someone if you keep walking like that?” a husky, grandfatherly voice proclaimed. Justin lifted his head and the stranger frowned at the tenseness of his face. “It’s a beautiful day, smile.” Justin slowly lifted his head, giving the man a gentle grin. “I’m not very fond of crowds…or in this case, clusters of people,” he chuckled nervously. “Why is that? You famous or something?” Justin arched an eyebrow. “Or something. Do you know where the grocery store is? I’m renting out that house on the hill up there and I need some junk food.” The old man laughed, placing his hand on Justin’s shoulders. He turned him around and pointed down the street to a small, colonial building at the very end of the street, mere feet away from the docks and blue abyss. “It’s right down there. They have plenty of chocolate and doughnuts and everything. Get the chocolate chip cheese danish, it’s heaven!” he suggested. Justin nodded. “I sure will. Thank you, sir.” “No problem, Justin, see ya later.” Justin began walking and then stopped abruptly, his head whipping around and his eyes widened with shock. The older man rubbed his whiskered chin and grinned. “Small town, young man, small town. Enjoy your stay!” He nodded brightly and trotted the rest of the way to the grocery store. Justin roamed through the short aisles, lazily plucking an item off the shelves. He indeed got a few pastries, two gallons of whole milk and half a dozen boxes of cereal. He grabbed a few steaks and simply began wandering around searching for anything else he wanted to eat. “Um, excuse me, I need to know if you have some mushrooms that aren’t canned?” a melodious voice questioned the store clerk. Justin’s head snapped up and his cobalt eyes peered excitedly over the short shelving and he noticed the woman that rented the house next to his. She was wearing a simple pair of olive green Capri pants, immaculately white tennis shoes, a pink tee shirt with a large yellow flower and olive green leaf on it and a warm sweater. Her hair was sloppily twisted into a ponytail and Justin couldn’t help but wonder how long it was. Wavy, auburn tendrils tickled the back of her curved neck as innocent eyes regarded the shop clerk. “Ma’am, I’m not sure if we have any in stock…the growing season is nearly over,” the clerk explained. “Could you check for me, please?” she batted her thick eyelashes and offered the man a timid, but stunning smile. “Okay, just one second.” The man soon returned with a carton of large, fresh mushrooms. “This is all we have and as for the soup base you asked for, I’m afraid we don’t have that.” The young woman nodded. “That’s fine, I can just make do. Wow, these are great mushrooms, thank you so much.” The man smiled, wiping his hands on his apron. “You bring me some of whatever you’re cooking and I will be one happy man.” “Oh, I will.” Justin headed to the cashier and stood behind the young woman as she rang up her foodstuffs. She must have been a chef. He was a bit lonely, but frightened at the warm tingles that lapped through him whenever she smiled. He was enthralled by her and he often reminded himself that he hand a girlfriend that he loved very much. She paid for her items and left the store. As did Justin. His next door neighbor headed down by the water, while he walked back to his home. The town’s rustic streets were lined in banners that advertised a Celebration of Lights. He also noticed that every store had crates of lights on sale and prominently displayed on sidewalks as well as inside. This was definitely something he would look into. He was getting tired. He was halfway back to his house, bogged down with cereal boxes and meat and milk. Tossing a frustrated sigh to the winds, he walked the rest of the way to the cabin. ** Sunset over the water was magnificent. The sky was an earthly explosion of purples, reds, oranges, golds, accompanied by thin puffs of gray, jagged clouds. The water swirled with the masterpience and the ocean’s waves crept closer and closer, louder and louder. Justin padded through the house, opening all the doors in his house. He allowed the cool, sweetened ocean winds to course through. The sounds and smells reminded him of home and it was comforting. He pushed open the opulently wide patio doors, allowing the breezes to tickle the chiffon curtains. Justin closed his eyes, letting the breeze cleanse the tears from his face. He was crying. Justin loathed crying. It was emasculating and demeaning. It made him feel weak. But he had pushed everything away, swept it in some dank corner of his pressured mind and in order to get better, he had to let the tears come. Sometimes, he sobbed. Like a little girl. Sometimes, they pushed so hard, he could only shake and hiccup and gasp. Most of the time, tears just trickled down his cheeks, like a broken faucet, that couldn’t be fixed. “Maybe I’m broken.” He felt the pull of something that wasn’t despair of the ache of his head. It had been present ever since he arrived and finally relented. Justin trotted up the carpeted stairs and searched through his suitcase. He knew exactly what he was looking for. He retrieved a sealed envelope from the bottom of his suitcase, tucked under the lining. Sitting back on his knees, Justin ripped into the seam, pulling the letter out of its casing. It was a horrible photocopy, most of the words were too blurred to decipher. Justin fingered the letter, his eyes scanning over the words, but not really letting them absorb. This was the letter that choked Strawberry. It was a fan letter. Justin eyed it with morbid fascination, as if it held all the answers. The only thing he ever wanted had swelled and backfired into a force he couldn’t control. His fame didn’t disappear when he stepped off the stage of unplugged the microphone. It followed him to bed, to the store, on dates, in the shower, even in his dreams. Justin licked his lips with disgust, tearing the letter to shreds. He didn’t want to loathe his fame, his voice or the music. He didn’t want to hate himself for loving someone who was just as busy as he was. He just wanted to be content. But he felt anger. His fingers worked furiously as he tore the letter to shreds. Leaving the confetti-ed letter scattered about his bedroom. Justin stampeded down the stairs and stomped into the kitchen, wringing his hands together. The house was silent, overwhelmingly so. He paced the kitchen. He couldn’t be in that house anymore. He would just call Joey and be picked up. There had to be another way to fix this. He would just call Joey. Justin braced himself against the sink. Composing himself for the phone, he took in deep gulps of air and ran his fingers though his unruly curls. He wiped his eyes and righted his shoulders. As he stood up, a flicker of light caught his eye. There was the lovely girl from the market, sitting on her screened in porch. She was sitting at the table and chairs, one knee pulled up to her chest, pencil in her mouth. It was nearly dark, but through the purplish haze, Justin could see her face, illuminated by the glow her laptop. His eyes flared open with an idea. A way he wouldn’t have to spend the night alone or talking to a disembodied voice nearly a thousand miles away. He dove to the bottom cabinets, pulling out a saucepan, taking out a steak he ripped it from its packaging, and plopped it into the pan. Justin rummaged hastily through the cabinets above the stove and retrieved a bottle of cooking wine. Popping the cork, Justin dumped it generously into the sink. With a glance at the woman, sitting mere feet from the window, he struck a match and dropped it into the pan. Bright blue and orange flames catapulted upwards and he jumped back, his cheeks nearly seared by the fire. His blue eyes slid towards the window and inwardly grinned. The woman from the market was hopping up his patio steps… ** Justin’s eyes remained glued on the slender figure as she trotted up his patio steps, her face creased in concern as she tapped loudly on the frame of the screen door. “Excuse me, uh, I saw a fire from my house. Are you all right?” Justin blessed his ingenuity and strided over to the door. He popped the lock and slid open the screen door. His face grew hot and he found himself blushing with practiced embarrassment. “Yeah…ugh,” he rubbed the back or his neck and looked everywhere but her face. “I’m afraid I’m a horrible cook. I was trying to make some steaks. They only have pre-packaged salads in here,” he explained. “Oh...I just wanted to make sure you still had your eyebrows and everything. I’m staying next door. Tamilia,” she introduced and offered her hand. Justin’s eyes flicked to hers and his breath caught his chest, the words on his lips perished as he was captivated by her gaze. Her eyes were an unearthly shade of green- a hue that could only be described as verdant with shades of pale green swirling next to the pupils. Tamilia blinked self-consciously and looked past him. “Move!” she ordered firmly. She shoved past his shoulder, nearly knocking him over his feet. The dishtowel sitting near the stove had sparked and the dry cotton began to smolder. Tamilia slid her hands into a pot-holder and picked up the flaming dishtowel, dropping it into the sink, dousing it with cold water. She then turned around and picked up the skillet of charred steaks and sizzling wine and held it under the water as well. Her brow furrowed as she saw just how much wine Justin had in the skillet. Glancing at the bottle, she saw that it was nearly empty. Justin was leaning nervously against the pantry and tried to appear confident when he wished he would have planned it out more. “I guess I should be exiled from the kitchen, huh?” he asked shakily. “You didn’t burn yourself, did you?” Tamilia regarded him carefully and shook her head. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Justin took his eyes away from her silky, brown skin and his face creased in feigned shock. “I have no idea what you’re talking about…Ms…” he started. “Tamilia,” she repeated in a whisper. “Tamilia,” her eyes closed as her name rolled off his lips like honey. “Yes.” Justin was staring at her intensely. “That is a lovely name.” She nodded and held up the carred matched. “You did this on purpose. You kinda neglected to take the match out.” He was caught, but Justin’s charm was his savior. He arched an eyebrow. “What if I did? What would you do?” he asked softly, crossing his arms over his chest. He took a step towards her. Tamilia took a step backwards, seemingly threatened. “You did, then?” Justin grimaced. “Yes.” Her posture suddenly changed into one of strong coldness. She then crossed her arms over her chest and stood guarded. Justin took another step, letting his face display his true emotions. And his façade feel away without his ever knowing it. “I didn’t want to be alone…” he muttered truthfully. The ice fell away, gathering at her feet, and Tamilia smiled warmly. “Oh.” “I saw you at the store, asking for those fancy mushrooms and I figured you knew how to cook. So, I thought maybe if I got your attention, you could just stop by…” Tamilia noticed that Justin was mere inches away from her. She could feel his breath blessing her face as he spoke. She felt comforted by him…being so close. “That was very sweet…Mr…” “Justin,” he supplied. “No Mr…” “Justin. I don’t think you should be allowed in the kitchen again. At least not today.” “You’ll stay for dinner then?” he questioned. “Yes. Just let me go get my things and I’ll be right back, okay?” Justin smiled charismatically. He slipped his hand into hers and escorted her out the patio door and through the grasses. He waited just outside her house as she gathered up the groceries she had purchased earlier. When she returned, Justin took them from her and carried them back to the house. It was as if they were possessed by an amorous spell; one that leapt seamlessly over the awkward barriers of politeness trust when two people first meet. They had a special trust. As they strolled through the tall grasses and wildflowers, their walls and shields established to protect themselves from the outside world were swept away by ocean breezes. Tamilia's face softened as Justin gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. They walked up the steps and Justin set the food on the counter and helped Tamilia unpack. They worked silently, side by side until everything was ready. She looked up at the tall, beautiful man beside her and smiled timidly. Justin's heart trembled joyously and he found himself smiling in return. Tamilia nudged Justin with her shoulder and giggled as she began to chop up celery. ** Justin stood over the sink, carefully scraping and rinsing carrots as he listened to Tamilia talk. She spoke so freely with him, as if they were old friends, and Justin was comforted by her candidness. Tamilia carefully took the seasoned, boiled chicken out of the pot and began to sheer the tender meat off of the bones. "I walked in class, after nearly two weeks of constant, perpetual studying, and YEARS of preparing, ready to take my MCATs. I mean, I was ready, despite the fact that I had been up for almost 96 hours straight and had lived on chinese food and coffee, but I was ready. I walk into the room, sit down, pull out my perfectly sharpened number two pencils and my eraser and just as the professor starts passing out the answer sheets, I just lose control. My heart starts pounding, my head starts aching. I'm nauseous and I can't breathe," Tamilia began, her voice strong, her tone rich. "I start to sweat and I get up to leave the room, you know, collect myself for the test. I kept panting, 'after this I can sleep...after this I can sleep.' I'm petrified, my classmates are gawking at me, because what is happening to me is their worst fear, realized. Every one is trying to help me. Finally, I just collapse on my bottom in the middle of the lecture hall. And I just look around you know, wondering what I'm doing. Why am I studying medicine when I don't even like doctors. I always thought, even when I was young that something happens to the person when they enter medical school and finish their residency. Most doctors are these disembodied, living textbooks bumbling around the world like lemmings. They lose their love of life and spiritual and childhood beliefs about the world." Tamilia paused to re-position the whole chicken and began cutting off the meat on the other side. "Most doctors don't believe in Santa Claus or wishing on shooting stars or God, or anything that they can't see. And it's the one thing that I am determined to hold on to," she explained. Her eyes wafted to Justin's and his face lightened up. "I understand. Someone can get so lost in what they think is their dream that they lose sight of the real one," he summarized. Tamilia nodded vigorously. "Cary, a good friend of mine, charged up all of his credit cards to rent me a house up here where I could rest and rediscover the passions I lost during school. He has such a big heart," Tamilia beamed. "I can't believe I just left everything behind. It's the middle of the semester and I'm not in school. It just feels...wrong, but freeing at the same time." Justin grunted, entranced by Tamilia's ringed fingers, glistening from the moisture of the chicken. She had abandoned the knife and simply began pulling the salted meat from the carcass. She wore two thin bands of silver on each hand. They moved in delicate synchronization as she tore a healthy morsel of chicken and stood on her tiptoes, holding it to Justin's lips. "Taste," she offered. Justin opened his mouth, arching his neck and took the hot strip of chicken from her grasp with a gentle flick of his tongue. He chewed slowly, cobalt eyes lingering with her intriguingly emerald ones. The meat was heaven, seasoned to perfection and dripping with flavorful juice. "Mmm," he nearly purred. "This is sinful, Tamilia." "Really?" she asked. "Definitely." Justin licked his lips and reached out to take another piece. Tamilia stepped back against the counter, grinning devilishly. "You have to wait until I'm finished. I can't finish the stew without the chicken," she murmured. Justin hunched his shoulders and reached around her, stealing several strips of chicken. He slid one into his mouth and chuckled as she pouted. "Here," he handed the rest back to her. Tamilia smiled and indulged as well. "One more left." Justin nodded, moving to take it from her grasp, but Tamilia closed her hand and pulled them behind her back. He growled and advanced boldly, moving until his body was pressed against hers. "Give it to me." His breath was hot against her skin and she closed her eyes. Justin stilled. His mind reeled as he noticed how exquisite she was. Dark crescents of daintily curled hairs tickled the delicate skin beneath her eyes. Her nose sat prominently on her face, but it was small and mildly rounded. Her lips were supple and dark rouge, shining in the waning light of the newborn moon. Tamilia's cheeks were full, but her cheekbones were high, giving her a regal and refined appeal. Without another thought, Justin leaned forward and graced her jawline with tender kisses. Tamila's hand went flat against his chest and she fisted his shirt tautly, but didn't pull away. Justin's lips swept amorously up her curved jaw and to her eyelids, where he kissed each one. His right hand seamlessly moved up, cupping her chin, absently twirling her wavy raven locks. Tamilia's body relaxed and her hands ventured towards his back and she moaned slightly as Justin hovered teasingly above her lips. He bent down, brushing them against hers slightly and he gasped suddenly. He took an abrupt step backwards, eyes fearfully wide, and ran his fingers ran nervously through his long, unruly curls. "Uh...umm, God...just give me a minute," Justin panted. His mind swam as he jerkily faced the sink and began chopping up the skinned carrots. He had a girlfriend. He had a girlfriend that loved him dearly. But he had never felt such an innate, enigmatic and ebullient pull towards his girlfriend like he did with Tamilia. He drank her in willingly, completely. Justin closed his eyes, trying to come up with a sensible explanation that wouldn't hurt her. But his mind was blank and his body was begging him to return to the passion that he just robbed it. He whirled around, facing Tamilia, who was staring absently at the floor, her fingers tentatively touching her lips. As he began to fumble for platitudes, the phone rang. It sliced through the tense silence and Justin leapt to grab it. "Hello?" "Justin?" "Yeah." "Are you all right? You sound tired." JC exclaimed. Justin could hear several murmurs in the background and he knew he was on speaker-phone. He worked to control his breathing. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm cool." "Then why are you so out of breath?" "Because I ran to get the phone, C," he replied, irritated. JC sat back. "Oh. We're just calling to check up on you. How you be, man?" "I'm fine. I wasn't doing well in the beginning," he answered honestly. He then turned his attention to Tamilia and grinned tenderly. "But I'm doing much, much better now." Tamilia's head shot up and she regarded him seriously before turning back to her chicken. "Really? Lance said that a few days ago, you weren't doing well," Chris jumped in, his tone oddly serious. Justin walked out of the kitchen, his hand brushing against Tamilia's bare back as he ventured outside into the brisk night air. He slid the screen closed and turned about facing the rolling, black ocean. "Really, I'm doing a lot better. I went exploring today, Lance. I knew you're there. The town is picturesque, I was expecting Dawson and Joey to coming whizzing by with some dramatic dilemma," he joked plopping down in one of the patio chairs. "Oh, he made a funny..." Joey gasped. His voice was higher than it normal. Brianna was with him. "Say hello to Uncle Justin, Briegh," Joey cooed. Justin heard a gently slapping against the speaker, mingled with the infant's excited pants and gurgles. Justin grinned wildly and began crooning into the phone for a good five minutes, before Joey took her away to change her diaper. "Well, we're just calling to check in. Make sure you weren't dying of boredom up or withdrawing from the lack of attention," Chris concluded. "I'm barely surviving," Justin admitted, "but I'm going to enjoy my time here. Who knows when the next long break will be. Goodnight y'all." "Goodnight," they chorused. Justin headed back into the kitchen and set the cordless phone on the counter. Tamilia looked up at him. "Can you chop up the rest of those carrots and then start peeling the potatoes?" Justin smiled brightly. "I think I can do that..." ** Tamilia stood over a bubbling mixture of thick sauce, chicken pieces, and hearty vegetables. She stirred it slowly as Justin hopped up on the counter and continued speaking. "Everything can get so hectic. And sometimes you don't know who to trust for an honest opinion because everyone will tell you what you want to hear. I just got so tired and then I tried to hide it by working, because when I'm working, I can't focus on the problems or the emotions..." Justin explained. His face was now framed with joy. “But when I began singing. I knew I loved it before we got the record deal. But after, I thought it was the most…awe-inspiring thing. Then I wished I could share the feeling I got with everyone. But that changed…Now, It can get so hard and so frustrating to the point where I don’t know if I even want to do it anymore.” Justin admitted sadly. Tamilia's head whipped over her shoulder sharply and she dropped the spoon. "Sing for me..." she commanded wistfully. "What?" She placed her hands on her hips. "Close your eyes and sing something for me, Justin." Justin drew in a deep breath, closing his eyes. Tamilia placed a perfect finger over his lips. "Sing from your heart, not from your CD..." Justin nodded and his eyes fluttered shut once more. "It's dark in my world. And in the corner I'm curled. Wishing, rocking, Praying and waiting... For someone's love to save me Bring in the light, the color the love Someone sent from above. It's too quiet in my world A silence that needs to be unfurled And cast away But I am forever waiting for the day When that person, with love so strong Will hold my silence at bay..." Tamilia's lips parted and she drew in the simplest, yet most profound gasp of appreciation and joy. Her arms fell away from her hips and boucned unceremoniously against her thighs. His voice was beautiful. A heaven wrapped in swirling melodies and breathy rolling of sound. Justin's eyes opened nervously and he was graced with face, construed with awe and a bliss that was nearly tangible. "If you can sing like that, with such passion, then you shouldn't give it up. That's inside of you, in your heart." Her lithe hands were flat against his chest. "I saw you put emotion into those words, Justin. If you didn't care or didn't WANT to do it, then you wouldn't. Does that make sense?" Tamilia questioned. Seamlessly, as if she was anticipating his move, their arms closed around each other and he nodded against the softness of her bare shoulders and inhaled the scent of Laurel flowers that hovered around her. "Absolutely." ** The air was filled with a rich delicious fragrances that were so delectable, Justin wanted to lick the hair. He and Tamilia had finished cooking dinner and it was baking slowly in the oven. They had moved into the living room, talking amidst the orange gleam of the fire. Tamilia was up on the couch, her rich voice filling the room with her thoughts and experiences, while Justin was sitting on the floor, in-between the coffee table and couch. His hand absently twirling his curls that nearly brushed his shoulders. "You're mother was Asian?" Justin asked. Tamilia grinned. "Asian Irish, hence the green eyes," she admitted proudly. Justin licked his lips as he stared into them. "And your father?" "Black and Puerto Rican, mostly black...I had...an interesting time growing up. I never really fit in anywhere, you know? But it wasn't horrible, like most people assume. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have an enormous family...it's not traditional or even functional, but it works for me." "Wow, that's amazing," Justin proclaimed. "My family?" "Well yeah, but your eyes...I was talking about your eyes. I've never seen anything so green...and gold..." Justin breathed. Tamilia laughed- an enchanting sound that delicately rumbled off the walls and Justin suddenly felt an immense pride for causing her to create such a sound. And he froze, forcing himself to remember such a blissful feeling her laughter created.. "What about your family?" Tamilia's voice brought him out of his trance. "Hmm? My family? I have the best family ever. There's the guys of course and their families and our crew and staff that make up one big ole' family. We all started with a goal, with a dream and we never lost sight of it. And through all the sacrifices, we managed to form this bond that I can't even explain. It's...just, I don't know, but it's mine and I want to share it with other people, and then again I want to keep it all to myself...because it feels so good," Justin's eyes gleamed a bright blue. "You know I could call anyone of them right now and they'd be here...in a second. I just feel safe knowing..." Justin's face crumbled into one of a familiar discomfort as he cursed in a whisper. "Shit..." His opened the hand that had been habitually coiling his curls and groaned when he saw that he had managed to entangle his hair in his diamond pinky ring. "Shit...can you give me a hand here?" The look on his face was truly pathetic and utterly adorable. Tamilia giggled as she stood up from the couch and knelt in front of him. She hovered over his slackened hand and tried to hide her laughter. "Stop laughing at me, it's not funny," Justin couldn't help but to laugh himself. "Hey, my hair is just like yours, trust me, I know..." Tamilia carefully tugged, hoping to free to ring. Justin's head followed and he whimpered. "Don't pull. That hurts...Man, I knew I should have cut this stuff or had it braided. As soon as I'm free, I'm shaving my head, this is ridiculous," he whined. Tamilia slapped his shoulder, hard. "Don't you dare shave your head," she warned as the curl fell away from the ring. Justin rubbed his head and shot her a playful glare. "Why the hell not?" "Because," she fingered his brownish red tresses, "they're goregous and I'll beat you stupid if you cut them. Not everyone is blessed with hair like this." "Cursed, the word is cursed." "I'll braid it up for you." "What?" Tamilia stood up and tip-toed into the kitchen, checking on her stew. "I'll conrow it for you. I was gonna do my hair tonight because it's getting frizzy from the ocean, but I can do yours. I'll be done before our dinner is." Justin thought quickly and his eyebrow arched deviously at the thought of her hands massaging his scalp and he felt his face grow warm. "If you don't mind." "Not at all. You got rubber bands?" "Yup." A few minutes later, Tamilia was seated on the ottoman and Justin was once again on the floor, in-between her legs. He watched with utter joy as her purple toenails wiggled against the carpeting and her legs moved up and down. He moaned in pleasure as she worked some grease into his hair and scalp. He dropped his head onto her thigh and he arched his back in intense pleasure.. Tamilia placed a kiss on his forehead and pushed the pads of her fingers deeper into his hair, rubbing the scalp with pleasant pressure. Justin's mouth opened, but no sound escaped his red lips and his hands clamped thankfully on her legs, just below the knee. "Should I stop?" Tamilia inquired sarcastically. Justin's head shook wildly as his whole body relaxed and his soul purred. His hands brushed in feathery rhythms over her shins and thighs as he thanked her in means of touch. His legs thudded softly against the carpet. His head lolled to the side and he fell into a deep, colorful sleep... ** The house was filled with the din of creation and laughter. The silence had mercifully subsided. © Kira, 2001 [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
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