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Date Posted: 04:56:25 09/20/02 Fri
Author: Chris
Subject: The Jack Schitt Story

The Jack Schitt story
> ---------------------
>
> For some time many of us have
> wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
> find ourselves at a loss when someone
> says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
> Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts,
> you can now respond in an intellectual way.
>
> Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
> Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married
> O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
> They had one son, Jack.
>
> In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
> The deeply religious couple produced
> six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,
> Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
> Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her
> parents' objections, Deap Schitt married
> Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
>
> After being married 15 years, Jack and
> Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
> married Ted Sherlock, and, because her
> kids were living with them, she wanted to
> keep her previous name. She was then known
> as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
>
> Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
> and they produced a son with a rather
> nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
> Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
> and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
> childhood and subsequently married the
> Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
> The wedding announcement in the newspaper
> announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
>
> The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
> Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
> son, left home to tour the world. He recently
> returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa
> Schitt.
>
> Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt,"
> you can correct them.

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