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Date Posted: 23:10:45 02/17/08 Sun
Author: SS
Subject: Re: jo
In reply to: SS 's message, "jo" on 01:13:27 02/17/08 Sun

An Offbeat Jive Of Justice
By: Noah Eaton

Quite a sentimental week it has been for me; not just in terms of realizing I'm in my final months of college, but also because I am preparing to mail a collection of vintage action figures from the 1980's which my cousin Nick originally owned to his one-year old son Isaiah, which have been of immense sentimental value to me as I grew up not merely playing with them often back when I lived in Colorado, but making home-video episodes featuring them all. Thus, as you can imagine, I am in an especially reflective, schmaltzy mood as, indeed, letting go of anything can be sweet sorrow, but nonetheless if there's anyone who should have those figurines most of all, it's Nick's son because, after all, they originally belonged to my cousin anyway, and am glad he will have them.

The aforementioned, all-original home-video series I was alluding to was called "The Justice Offbeats". The idea of the show fell into place spontaneously on March 20th, 1999, when I was designing this stairway project for my Algebra II class with Mr. Ernewein during my freshman year at Denver Academy, with the purpose of the assignment to get an understanding of studying width, length and height in terms of ratios. Having virtually no sculpting or architectural skills whatsoever, I recall being intimidated by the task, but then my mother went to Hobby Lobby and got styrofoam blocks, spray paint, colorful popsicle sticks and metal hinges, and that mid-March weekend I devoted hours at a time spray-painting these styrofoam blocks and cutting them to the required ratio accordingly, attaching them together with the hinges to assemble a stairway out of them, using other styrofoam blocks as support barriers, and gluing the popsicle sticks together along the stairway to form a railing or banister of sorts.

By the time I was finished designing the stairway that Saturday, I remember how proud I was with the final product, and because my mom said she didn't want me to bring the stairway back home, I felt a sense of urgency making something to keep my memory of this project intact. Then, because at the time I was already infatuated with my family's camcorder after collaborating with my sisters on a series of shorts titled "The Fat-tissues", as well as a series of live-action re-enactments of "Saturday Night Live" skits and other comedic routines, I finally decided: "Hey, I'm going to make a show, centered around this architectural wonder!" So I looked around my house, scrambling for figurines and other objects I could use to advance a story plot, and then, when perusing our board game collection, I came across all these little figurines from a board-game I loved pretending to play by myself often back then titled "Mutant Chronicles: The Siege Of The Citadel" and I thought: "These would be perfect for the show!"

"Mutant Chronicles: The Siege Of The Citadel" was essentially a role-playing action-adventure tabletop board game, designed by Richard Borg, well-known for publishing many role-playing board games including the hit 2000 series "Command and Colors System", and was first produced in 1993 by a Swedish games manufacturer called Target Games (the rights to the game have since been shifted to Paradox Entertainment, and the game discontinued production in 2000, where ones best bet to find a copy of the game nowadays is through ebay). Essentially, the game took place in a post-apocalyptic future world, where the Earth has become one vast desert and Earthlings have re-located to Mercury, Venus, Mars, Luna and the Asteroid Belt, while the traditional nation-states of the world have merged into huge corporations, five becoming megacorporations (the German-styled Bauhaus, the American-influenced Capitol, the Japanese-themed Mishima, the British-inspired Imperial, and Cybertronic) who all employ military mercanaries to fight for resources. Also coming into prominence during this time is the Dark Legion; an ancient evil consisting of five "Dark Apostles", and their horde of hideous mutants, including Legionnaires (resurrected corpses of fallen Megacorp heroes), Necromutants (hideously modified humanoids), Centurions (the lethal lieutenants of the Dark Legion) and Nepharites (fearsome, towering behemoths of unimaginable power). In spite of their immense power and authority, a band of heroes known as the Imperial Infantry are ever determined to liberate the world from the tyranny of the Dark Legion, thus in the game, each player controls one of the corporations (each has its own unique special power) with one player playing the Dark Legion, and the game is played in the form of a campaign that takes one to two hours to complete, where a character sheet is handed out to each player and each player records the score of the hero characters between game sessions, with each hero team gaining access to better weapons and abilities as they level up, from the Punisher Shortsword to the Plasma Carbine. So, in a nutshell, the central aim of the game is to quash the Dark Legion amidst their sinister citadel, but all the "good guys" of the game are also only superficially allies, and thus players are actually encouraged to exploit one another like rival corporations often do, which only makes the mission objective all the more complicated for the Imperial Infantry.

I never actually played that game in earnest, but being the gallivant geek I was, I was ever-attracted to the 38 four-centimeter tall plastic miniatures, including the demonic centaur-esque Ezoghoul figurine, which towered twice as high as all the other characters, and I loved setting up the game over and over by myself and having the figurines battle one another. Consequentially, by the time I began thumbing through the game box for figurines I would use for the show, many of the figurines were already broken and had shattered weapons and arms, but nonetheless I found enough great characters to use, and selected four of the pieces to be the heroes of a show that would be titled "The Justice Offbeats": Yojimbo (which would be re-named Yocemento after an Exit 157 highway sign along Interstate 70 in Kansas reading "Yocemento Avenue"), Murdoch (re-named "Adrenaline Man"), Big Bob Watts (re-named "Phat Fatty") and Tatsu (re-named "The Forgotten Soldier" because it had both arms missing, thus looking helpless). Eventually, by the time I encouraged my friend Randy Meador to do the voicing of a tough-talking soldier on the third episode of the show and beyond, I chose three additional figurines from the box, including Attila III Cuirassier (re-named Yojimbo, which would be Randy Meador's tough-talking soldier character who is obsessed with swearing every time he talks, and leads an allied group of heroic mercenaries on the show called "The Tsunami Squad"), and two pieces I can't remember the names of re-named Zorluade and Red Rob).

Next, I had to select some villains, which proved to be easy given how sinister-looking all of the Dark Legion miniatures were, and decided to make the Nepharite the leader of an evil army I would name the "Immoralneires", which I re-named "Immoral Man", while using all the other Dark Legion pieces as his loyal henchmen. In addition, I took two remaining blocks of styrofoam, drew eyes, mouths and other facial features on both of them, stuck popsicle sticks into them to make arms and legs, and voila.....Styrofoam Sam (voiced partially by my sister Ellie) and Styrofoam Cedrick were born: the former lacking intelligence but making up for that deficiency with his immense physical strength, and the latter lacking strength but making up for that with his developed intellect. It was then that I knew I had a full-fledged cast prepared, and proceeded that Sunday just hours before the 71st Academy Awards broadcast to film the pilot episode of "The Justice Offbeats" upon that stairway I created, with a completely impromptu, made-up script.

After that weekend, I thought up many more ideas to develop this "Justice Offbeats" concept into a regular series with longevity, and would just days later use this diorama my sister Ellie put together called "Craytown" as the setting for my sophomore episode "Chaos In Craytown", then make subsequent episodes including "The Robust World" (featuring Logan Log, a villain I created out of a log of wood by using left-over spray-paint from the stairway project to imbue eyes and a mouth on it, and placing a military cap on the top of it), and "Frigid Fred Cometh", featuring Frigid Fred, a cryogenically-frozen gnome who, in part of a scientific experiment, develops the ability to summon the powers of Shiva and make the world freeze over.

Anyway, by the summer of 1999, my family and I were prepared to travel across the country to Romeoville, Illinois to meet my Aunt Theresa, Uncle Paul and my cousins Nick, Brandy and Zack, and I thought it would be a great idea to bring the camcorder along and film an episode of "The Justice Offbeats" beyond Colorado. So I did just that, bringing those miniatures along with me and hoping to find some characters in Nick and Zack's toyboxes which I could use to assemble a new plotline. What I would find that June made me as happy as a clam: a collection of vintage action figures from the 1980's that belonged to Nick which he had collected during his childhood, and from that colorful coterie I selected some toys that "stood out" to me, which would become known as "The Lilan Toys": an exclusive group of ancient outcast soldiers who briefly agreed to a peace negotiation proposed by Immoral Man's advisor, Kumo Lissente, but upon learning that the peace negotiation was merely intended to exploit their resources and land, allied themselves with the Justice Offbeats, and beyond that first episode featuring them would appear on every succeeding Justice Offbeats episode. Then, the following year, when my cousins returned the favor and visited us in Colorado during the summer of 2000, they had brought "action-figure outtakes" along with them which would be used in an episode titled "Marshall Murlorko Returns" (Marshall Murlorko was a wimpy member of the Lilan Toys defeated during the original Lilan Toys episode, who would later mutate into a monster and try seeking revenge in "Marshall Murlorko Returns", only to be mutilated again) and become known as "The Murbors", also aligning themselves as Justice Offbeats.

By the time the last episode was shot in the summer of 2000, “The Justice Offbeats” had a total of nine episodes shot, with an additional fourteen short skits. On several occasions I considered filming new episodes, including after I moved to Portland, Oregon and considered having fellow KBOO Community Radio colleagues provide voices for a coalition of media reporter figurines who are proliferating propaganda generated by Kumo Lissente to try and defame the Justice Offbeats in a more mature, political episode depicting the media’s influence in public discourse, but ultimately that never took off because, without Nick Campbell nor Randy Meador to provide their voices, it just didn’t feel the same, so I chose to let the show end on top.

There were also many ideas throughout the series' run that never exactly took shape also. I thought up all kinds of names and concepts for both heroes and villains but just didn't have the right action figures available, or wanted to film episodes in the mountains, downtown Denver, Disneyworld, et cetera, but just didn't have the means and time to do so. And there were a whole bunch of people I wanted to have voice talents of some kind on the show, including certain faculty members at Denver Academy, but the opportunity just fell short. I'll share more about this in some future entries.

So, without further adieu, here are profiles of the Lilan Toys/Murbors, and their actual real-life origins:

*

*********The Lilan Toys*********

Burkoko: The ancient lord of the Lilan Toys. Burkoko is a stubborn and grumpy-toned, yet affable and considerate leader who stays true to the mission yet also looks after his followers and treats them as equals. He rides his beloved steed wherever he travels.

The instant I discovered this 1982 Conan Thoth-Amon action figure from Remco in Nick’s toybox without the magician’s cape (Thoth-Amon was a fictional evil wizard character created by the sword-and-sorcery genre pioneer Robert E. Howard, as part of his “Conan the Cimmerian” stories, who was originally a powerful wizard of Stygia but lost the Serpent Ring of Set and, consequentially, loses his powers, who eventually reclaims the ring in the debut “Conan the Cimmerian” story “The Phoenix on the Sword”) I knew from first sight he should be the character that leads this group I was assembling, simply striking me as someone who was a born leader of a populace. As I do with most of my characters, I just found a random name for him, which in this case turned out to be Burkoko, and it just stuck like syrup.

Yet, I also believed something was missing: something that signifies and elevates his rank of authority. After further rummaging, I finally found just what he needed: a mighty steed, in the form of a 1984 Masters of the Universe Stridor figure from Mattel (Stridor was He-Man’s robotic war horse at one point during the Masters of the Universe media franchise) which this five-inch high armored battle horse proved to be a perfect match for Burkoko, not just in terms of his warrior temperament, but because they had complementing color schemes which visually delineate their close friendship.

Burkoko never really had any popular one-liners or memorable pieces of dialogue, yet remains a favorite of mine to this day because of his integrity and will as a character, which is what ultimately makes some characters stand out where others stand out through their repartees.

*

Seargent Polpuruk: Seargent Polpuruk’s most-trusted warrior. A fierce, seemingly-indestructible cyborg pirate with a deadly right hand known as the “Claw of Death”. Despite his Brobdingnagian reserves of power, socially he is actually rather taciturn and agreeable, and only appears outgoing when he senses injustice in the world, as he is loyal to his comrades and never stands pliable to outside threats. I provided the voice for his character, which was scruffy with hints of Southern drawl.

Seargent Polpuruk’s origin is that of a 1986 Thundercats Hammerhand action figure, released by LJN as part of the Series 2 toy line under the sub-category “Berzerkers”, with Mister Vortex and Jack Squat’s origins also sprouting from that toy line (Hammerhand was a cyborg pirate on “Thundercats” bent on greed and power, who led a crew of mercenaries called the Berserkers on the show, who situate themselves on the waters of the Third Earth).

Seargent Polpuruk’s two most memorable catchphrases are: “I’d love to clobber ‘em!” and “The claw explains it all!”

*

Dervor: Burkoko’s one-legged right-hand man, skilled assassin and legendary spy of the Lilans. With his penetrating, oval-shaped crimson eyes and stoic stare, Dervor is not one to wage a bet against in a staring contest, as his intuition and perceptive abilities are unmatched.

When I discovered Dervor in the form of a 1984 Sectaurs: Warriors of Symbion Commander Waspax action figure from Coleco (Commander Waspax was described as “egotistical and ambitious” with a “perfect ‘spit and polish’ appearance” who is commander of the Empress' elite corps of Sting Troopers on “Sectaurs”), within the first ten minutes I lamented how I couldn’t find his other leg, as I had found him with one leg missing. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I thought he was meant to be a one-legged star, as it distinguishes him from the rest of the cast, leaving the viewer thinking: “Wow, who knew one of the most intimidating spies out there was only one-legged?”.

My cousin Nick Campbell provided the perfect voice for him I will never forget (he would provide the exact same voice for Band-Aid Mouth as well) yet still cannot begin to describe either. Dervor just looked like an alien to begin with, and Nick provided a sinister, yet ethereal, voice to the character that certainly sounded like something I’d imagine a little green man’s voice box sounding like (okay, maybe a little green man with meningitis, but you get the idea, LOL!)

Dervor is my favorite Lilans character, because he just stands out among the rest, both for his appearance and for his one-liners, which include: “They’re right over thhheeeerrreeeeee!”, “Dervor’s one heavy spy!” and “Time to be investigating this!”.

*

Sucko: Sucko is a mythical monster, loyal to Burkoko and the Lilans, who has the ability to suck the oxygen out of any living organism he clasps upon, thus weakening his enemies into a state of asphyxia. In addition, with having suction-cup arms and feet, he has the ability to climb and scale any wall or building.

Nick Campbell was simply a given to provide the voice role for Sucko, given his well-perfected penchant for voice-acting, and immediately asked him to do just that once I found Sucko in the form of a 1985 Masters of the Universe Leech action figure from Mattel, released as part of the first-wave of Evil Horde figures (Leech was summoned from the ocean depths in a He-Man mini-comic by Hordak, leader of the Evil Horde, to fight He-Man and the Heroic Warriors).

Sucko is also a personal favorite of mine, with a memorable faux-commercial spot titled “Got Oxygen?” that was filmed at Kankakee River State Park, as well as several memorable catch-phrases, including: “Sucko would like to suck out their brains!”

*

Doctor Tormentil: Doctor Tormentil is the chief military strategist and technological innovator of the Lilans, whose superior intellect and ability to morph into a cyborg warrior or monster makes him a force to reckon with. Some of his superpowers include the “Shock Wave” and “Transparent Energy”.

There he was in Nick’s toybox, a 1983 Masters of the Universe Man-E-Faces figure from Mattel (Man-E-Faces is a member of the Heroic Warriors in the MOTU comics and television series, notable for his distinctive appearance and ability is to change his face from his regular human face to that of a robot and a monster, which in time the purpose for the changing of faces has varied, from initially being seen as someone cursed with a split personality due to Skeletor forcing him to drink a portion that turned him into a vicious monster, with the Sorceress changing him back but Skeletor changing him back to the monster and, in a struggle of powers, a third self was also created in the form of a neutrally-minded robot, but later being re-evaluated as someone who uses his faces for the purpose of portraying his various powers and abilities) just begging to get my callback for a permanent role. And that he did, which I voiced his character!

In retrospect, I have to admit he is one of my least-favorite characters just because he had no memorable catch-phrases and he lacked a distinctive personality, yet he is undoubtedly an important part of the Lilans with being the brains behind each operation, so I’m nonetheless glad he was chosen to represent that toy clan!

*

Mister Vortex: Mister Vortex is one of Burkoko’s loyal bodyguards, who wields his mace in combat and can spin full revolutions as endlessly as possible to cudgel his adversaries.

Mr. Vortex originated as a 1986 Thundercats Topspinner action figure, released by LJN as part of the Series 2 toy line under the sub-category “Berzerkers”, with Seargent Polpuruk and Jack Squat’s origins also sprouting from that toy line (Topspinner was part of a crew of mercenaries led by Hammerhand called the Berserkers on the show, who situate themselves on the waters of the Third Earth).

My younger cousin Zackery Campbell provided the voice for Mister Vortex, along with the now-believed to be deceased Jack Squat. He provided an unlikely hit catchphrase, when I told Zackery what to say in his character introduction preceding the Lilan Toys episode, which was: “I will give the Justice Offbeats a chunk of my mace!” but it came out of his mouth as “I will give them a piece of my…….mace…chunk!”. Why that quotation stuck with me, I have no idea whatsoever, but somehow it did and that blooper became his signature sound byte, which that same manner of speech where there would be a gap between the last word and the second-to-last words he speaks would influence all his future one-liners, including: “I’d like a chunk of that big…pie!” and “Mission accom…plished!” (shrugs shoulders and extends arms out in a “have no clue” mien).

*

Jack Squat (assumed deceased now): Jack Squat was one of Burkoko’s loyal henchmen, whose tremendous, corpulent physique could prove bone-crushing in the form of his earth-shattering belly-flops. The last time we heard from him, the Justice Offbeats and Noah Spin-Doctor battled them at Point B34 where, alongside Hammerhead Harry, Richard Razor and a small entourage of infantrymen, they were routed, with Hammerhead Harry surviving the offensive with third-degree burns in the aftermath and Richard Razor surviving with electrical seizures following the attack, but no evidence surfacing that Jack Squat survived also, thus is believed to be dead to this day.

Jack Squat originated as a 1986 Thundercats Ram Bam action figure, released by LJN as part of the Series 2 toy line under the sub-category “Berzerkers”, with Seargent Polpuruk and Mister Vortex’s origins also sprouting from that toy line (Ram Bam was part of a crew of mercenaries led by Hammerhand called the Berserkers on the show, who situate themselves on the waters of the Third Earth).

My younger cousin Zackery Campbell provided the main voice talent for Jack Squat, along with Mister Vortex, though I also provided co-voice talent for Jack Squat during moments where Zackery was not there to do the honors (I still remember when Nick and I were filming the Point B34 battle scene one night during our trip, with Zack oscillating between waking up and falling asleep again, LOL!) So his voice was incredibly inconsistent throughout that episode, where it went from Zack’s all the way up to the scene preceding the Point B34 scrimmage, to me providing a childish, nasally voice for him before the fight scene, to him having an eerie, soft-spoken voice during the fight scene.

Despite his brief history on the show, he has left behind some catchphrases, including: “Time for a belly flop!”.

*

Marshall Murlorko (deceased): The much-loathed wuss and coward of the Lilans, who claims he is a “just a little wimpy thief” who “uses his girlish powers to get what I want!“, whose pretentious and pedomorphic personality raises the ire of anything or anyone he encounters.
Unfortunately, I have no picture of him available at this time, as I didn’t have a camera available back in 1999 and have not yet been able to identify his real-life action figure origin. However, he has actually mutated from one form to another, where in 1999 his original form was that of a He-Manesque persona wearing a white costume with a rainbow collar and cuffs, defeated in combat when Adrenaline Man knocked him overboard into the water hole where the Lilans were planning on drowning their prisoner The Forgotten Soldier, but in 2000’s “Marshall Murlorko Returns” episode emerges from the Murbor’s underwater kingdom in a mutated form, turning into a hysterical-looking purple monster with an ever-nightmarish platinum-glossed grin, who would eventually be torn apart in battle.

I had even originally planned for Marshall Murlorko to come back in yet another episode as an exorcist; forcing his abominable, splenetic spirit into the bodies of others, possessing them to continue to torment the Justice Offbeats and all of mankind, but that plan was ultimately shelved as my family and my cousin’s family grew increasingly distant from each other (we’re still on good terms and all, it’s just that sometimes matters come up within a family that are too complex to explain, and they ended up hindering our once-perennial family get-togethers, so indeed it’s a sad fact of life to me but one I guess we have to accept as we go about life).

Nick Campbell’s name was written all over Marshall Murlorko in terms of voice-acting, as he offered the perfect helium-high voice of that puerile weenie from your worst nightmares. His voice, along with that of Randy Meador’s Yojimbo character and Philippe Ernewein’s Philippe McPherson character, will always remain one of the most memorable voices of the show. In addition, no character on “The Justice Offbeats” rivals Marshall Murlorko in terms of the sound-byte department, where he perhaps may have single-handedly put the word “snickerpuss” back into public discourse and water-cooler conversations worldwide from the moment he first uttered the word in the original 1999 “The Lilan Toys” episode, only to relentlessly re-utter the word in the 2000 “Marshall Murlorko Returns” episode, which also includes one classic scene of dialogue where Marshall Murlorko reveals his true identity: Parker Dork Murlorko, after Spunky Speedo and Wonton force him to fess up what the initials of his name stand for, which then encourages everyone, good and bad, to unite against him, LOL!

Again, I regret I have no picture to share of him right now, but promise I’ll have one up soon, likely real soon when I get that digital camera hooked up to the television, turn the episode cassette on, and take digital snapshots of still-frames from each Justice Offbeats episode.

*

Blocko/Blocker (deceased): Blocko and Blocker was a two-headed duo, trapped in one body, with one (Blocko) providing the offensive moves in combat, while the other (Blocko) providing defensive maneuverings. They were officially vanquished in a skirmish at Kankakee River State Park, where the Lilans were planning on ambushing them there via Blue Falcon helicopter, but the Justice Offbeats successfully tossed Blocko and Blocker into the river prior to their capture.

No picture of them are available currently, and as of today I haven’t yet been able to identify what toy line they came from. I was never quite enthused with those characters, however, and were my least-favorite among the Lilans, to be honest.

*

Hammerhead Harry: Hammerhead Harry is one of Burkoko’s top-ranked officers, with suave, handsome looks and an easy-going attitude.

His origin is of a 1984 Masters of the Universe Prince Adam figure from Mattel (Prince Adam is a half-Eternian, half-Human protagonist from the He-Man comics and television series, who looks almost exactly the same as He-Man aside from having slightly less-deep of a voice as his and having a slightly lighter skin tone and is almost always seen loitering in the Royal Palace as the happy-go-lucky rascal he is). Originally I didn’t select that figure to be part of the episode casting, but when I scrambled back through the toybox again mid-way through the episode to look for figurines that would assist Jack Squat in his Point B34 offensive, I came across him and Richard Razor’s, and realized at that point they were perfect for the show and couldn’t believe I overlooked them the first time around.

Besides his pretty looks, Hammerhead Harry is known for his sexy, deep voice, as well as his catch-phrase: “Yo, I’m obliged to kill, baby!”. And yes, him and Richard Razor are gay, and live happily as civil partners. J

*

Richard Razor: Richard Razor is one of Burkoko’s top-ranked officers, renowned for his fast, puma-like reflexes.

His character is derived from a 1984 Masters of the Universe Rio Blast figure from Mattel (Rio Blast was the “Fastest Draw in the Universe” in the He-Man comics and cartoon series, a heroic cowboy with an arsenal of laser guns and blasters built into hidden cavities within his chest and knees, firing upon his enemies in battle, who was initially part of an alien law team known as the Starband Marshals, from the world of Loredos who, after being wounded in a fight with Horde Prime, he was given cybernetic upgrades to save his life. Later, when he discovered his world was destroyed by a meteor and a chunk of the obliterated planet knocked him into Eternia, and believed Horde prime was responsible for the attack, he joined the Heroic Warriors to seek revenge on prime and his comrades).

Richard Razor lacks Hammerhead Harry’s catch-phrase appeal, but nonetheless is well-known as being Hammerhead Harry’s “bro” (they are, in fact, a happy gay couple)

*

*********The Murbors*********

Spunky Speedo: Spunky Speedo is a crocodile-wrestler of Aussie descent, who has since become a full-time member of the Justice Offbeats.

His origin is currently unknown. He essentially looks like a wrestling figure, sporting nothing but a pair of black Speedos and combat boots (hence his name Spunky Speedo, LOL!).

His infectious Australian accent has made him a favorite on the show. He’s certainly always bottling his bloods worth alright!

*

Wonton: Wonton is a ninja warrior of Japanese descent, who has since become a full-time member of the Justice Offbeats.

His origin is that of a very-rare 1984 Secret Of The Ninja Golden Shaolin Monk action figure from Remco (they’re exceptionally rare to find even on ebay these days).

His Japanese accent, along with his obsession with egg rolls and cheesy Bruce Lee-movie clichés, have made him a star on the show.

*

Calamity Carl: Calamity Carl is a soft-spoken, former assassin who is now pacifist-leaning, offering his services to the Justice Offbeats. I have yet to discover his toy line origin.

Little really stands out about his character, and he is my least-favorite Murbors character.

*

Band-Aid Mouth: Band-Aid Mouth is one of the reptilian outcasts of the Murbors’ aquatic kingdom, who has since been a full-time comrade of the Justice Offbeats. Nick Campbell came up with his name when he discovered an old Band-Aid stuck in his throat for God knows how long, thus decided to name him that since we had “naming block” at that moment and nothing else came to mind.

I have no clue where his origin lies, but he has been an infectious character to me, mostly because he has a voice identical to that of Dervor’s, LOL!

*

Green Geezer: Green Geezer is an outcast of the Murbors, mocked for being their village idiot of sorts, who has since joined the Justice Offbeats. I have yet to determine his origin.

Green Geezer has went from being an obscure secondary character to one of the most popular characters on the show, due to his eccentric, hysterical laughing reminiscent of my demented HCN: Hardee’s Commercial network skit narration voice, as well as his quixotic, pell-mell litany of one-liners, which separates him from the other characters in that nothing he says is ingeminated, nor able to comprehend, LOL!

*

Finally, there’s an additional ally among that collection, which also was drafted during the initial casting session for “The Lilan Toys” episode and helps the Justice Offbeats battle the Lilans, which became known as “Noah Spin-Doctor” (we named it that because I couldn’t come up with a name and Nick suggested I name a figure after myself because this was my show and, though I am naturally modest, he insisted and we just put my name and his superhero feature together into one name).

He originates from a 1985 Masters of the Universe Sy-Klone figure from Mattel (Sy-Klone makes brief cameo appearances in the television program and comics as a circus acrobat called “the human tornado” who was turned into a cyborg by Skeletor’s mechano-ray and joined the Masters to help battle the Evil Horde).

I voiced Noah Spin-Doctor, using a stereotypical sort of superhero voice that is masculine-sounding, articulate and buoyant. Interestingly enough, I learned that Sy-Klone often annoyed his comrades on “He-Man: Masters Of The Universe” by boasting and always being carefree in the face of danger, and despite having never even heard of Sy-Klone until recently, Noah Spin-Doctor actually possessed those exact-same characteristics. Who knew? LOL!

*

(sigh) So this week I am preparing to give these figurines to my cousin Nick’s one-year old son Isaiah, who I’m sure will have many exciting, imaginary adventures with them as he grows and, who knows, he may conjure up something even more monumental than my treasured “Justice Offbeats” productions. Indeed it can be an emotional, bittersweet experience letting go of anything that is of sentimental value, especially something that was a definitive part of your late childhood…..but I know this is the right thing to do, and I can always cherish my memories, while letting my imagination continue to arabesque over the clouds and think up many new ideas, both including and not including those Lilan Toys and Murbors.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll succeed sometime in the near future in uploading some of these episodes/shorts to YouTube so y’all can enjoy them in their original splendor. Until then, you can begin to envision the experience through this heavy outpouring of pictures! :)

Isaiah, take it from here! :)

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

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