Re: Oh Lord! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Oh Lord!

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 09/ 6/09 9:33am
In reply to: Liz 's message, "Oh Lord!" on 09/ 5/09 6:13am

Hi Liz,

Welcome!

Wow - life does hold the unexpected. :) First of all - congratulations! Your new little son or daughter is a miracle in their own right that deserves the greeting. May they be healthy and your pregnancy go smoothly.

I can understand why you'd have a lot to process. Being a grandmother and a new mother at the same time! Do you have a good support system with your daughters?

I really like and respect your view on the biological father - appreciative that he has expressed a willingness to support you with this baby but a foundation of conviction toward your child regardless of his faithfulness to that. I'm thankful for the present, at least, that you're not experiencing the significant pressure to abort that many women who post here do from biological fathers that use everything from guilt to ultimatums to bring about their wishes.

How far along are you? One benefit - ultrasound technology has changed dramatically since you were last pregnant (as I'm sure you know with your daughter's pregnancy) an you can see your little one much sooner and clearer now.

Feel free to come here and post to decompress whenever you want - this is a great forum of women here. I have a lot of respect for each one here. This is a safe place to come and be supported and listened to.

Don't forget to take good care of yourself physically!

With Kindness,

Heather

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[> Subject: Re: Oh Lord!

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 09/16/09 2:32pm

Life does hold surprises!

I was 40 when I had my last one. That was 9 years ago. He was definitely a surprise! I'm SO happy that he's a part of my life, though. (My oldest is 29 and my youngest is now 9.)

Having a child later in life keeps you young. It helps you to not fall into some of the traps we fall into as we age - a young child will keep you from becoming sedentary, for instance ;-) They also help us to continue to look at life with fresh eyes and to see things we've grown so accustomed to that we no longer notice - sunsets, trains, bugs. And, they provide you with some of the warmest hugs you'll ever receive.

A couple of things: Sometimes pregnancies miscarry that that occur later in a mother's life. Our declining hormones and the receptivity of the tissue in our wombs contributes to this. So, while you shouldn't worry overly about miscarrying, you might want to be aware of any unusual things, like spotting or cramping.

Also, don't let doctors scare you about Down's Syndrome. True, our chances increase of having a child with Down Syndrome as we get older, but they are only about 5% for women over 45. That means that you have a 95% chance of delivering a baby without Down's Syndrome. My doctors wanted to do a amniocentisis. I explained that I didn't want to do a procedure that might result in CAUSING me to miscarry. They finally agreed. Instead, my doctor did an ultrasound at a certain number of weeks (I think it's about 12-14) that measures the nuchal thickness (http://www.diagnosticultrasound.org.uk/nuchal_translucency.htm). It's non-invasive and is very accurate.

Sharon