Re: Child not wanted by father -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Friday, April 26, 12:35:05

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Subject: Re: Child not wanted by father

Author:
Tracy (Australia)

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Date Posted: 04/ 1/09 11:51am
In reply to: Pat 's message, "Re: Child not wanted by father" on 03/31/09 9:25pm

I hope I am allowed to put in my two cents' worth here (given that I have originally posted due to my own pregnancy issues)!

First of all, I would like to say that I am very sorry to hear of your situation. You have been betrayed on every level, but that betrayal can stop right now.

The decision making process for you would seem to be very clear cut to me. For you, a termination is not an option as you don't want one (clearly) and this is not something you yourself would have contemplated without the force that this "man" (he's not being a "man" in my opinion) is trying to apply. I would like to echo the thoughts of the other contributors in that sense.

I am sure that you are also aware of the fact that post abortion traumatic stress issues come even MORE into play if a woman has been coerced into an abortion. This is well documented research.

With respect to telling your parents and/or extended family about your pregnancy - that is your right - and as Pat said, your ex husband clearly has no say in this regard whatsoever - he has forfeited all rights to have any say in anything you do. How dare he endeavour to cut off your very vital support networks at this time. Are your parents likely to be supportive of you? When I say supportive, I am meaning supportive in the sense that they will respect your clear pro life stance and uphold and respect your core values.

I will be thinking of you and looking out for more posts from you.

Kindly,
Tracy (Australia)

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Child not wanted by father

Author:
Jennifer (broken)
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Date Posted: 04/ 5/09 12:06pm

I thank you all for your support and kind words. It has gotten worse on his end, he went ahead and married the other woman, and she owns an insurance company that he once ran and he signed it over to her. They make well over 3 figures a year. He dropped off the keys to his Jeep which is in my name and said good luck paying for it, its your problem not mine. and he has over $600 in parking tickets (due within 2 weeks)that I am now going to have to pay-because the jeep is registered in my name. I am in a year long apartment lease that I can't afford-he just moved out 3 weeks ago, and when I move they said they will collect the money I owe for breaking the lease - well over a few thousand dollars. He used my credit card to make some purchases and hasn't given me one dime. He is coming to take all the furniture from my apartment because he said it was bought when he was working and I was "just a stay at home mom".

He Said "good luck collecting child support or getting any of the money that I may owe you-I have no income to claim." He has been smart and put everything in her name, and the money he promised me he said he will not give me any help unless I have the abortion-or sign over custody of the child once it is born to him and her.

I know my family will be supportive in all ways, and even his-they have talked to me and told me we all need to take responsiblity for our actions, including their son, but they can only asked him to do the right thing they can not make him anymore he is 37.

At church today they talked about when you become broken is when God shows himself to you and helps and let you become all you were meant to be. I just wonder how much worse can it get.

PS yesterday he called the child an abomination...no way can I let him have this child---i know they are just words but its wrong to say that about something you created-all I can think is he feels so bad about what he has done in the past to use and hurt me before the divorce and since that he takes out his own negative feelings about himself and transposes them to me.