Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 12/ 4/08 4:53am
Hi, Kourtney,
Your expressed emotions leave me extremely puzzled. Why would you feel PROUD to have an abortion?
Let me tell you about my near miss with abortion. I had a serious medical problem, and I wound up in the hospital emergency room. They wanted to keep me overnight, and I consented. The next day, a man I had never met came in and examined me. He tried to intimidate me by telling me that if I didn't let him operate on me, well, he implied that I would die. He said I had had a miscarriage. After he left, they came in to do a pregnancy test. I asked them why, and they said they wanted to see if I was still pregnant. That didn't make any sense. They said I would get the results in an hour or two. Well, it was more like two days. I just didn't like the feel of this man who examined me, and without telling you all the gory details, I turned down his operation and went home. I was fine after that. But when I did find out I was still pregnant, I was horrified that I had come so close to consenting to what would have been an abortion. At that moment, I started having horrible, horrible nightmares. I am not prone to nightmares normally. But these were so vivid that 30 years later, I can even remember what COLOR everything was. I would wake up in a cold sweat. One time, I dreamed that I was being chased through the wet streets of the city at night. A man with a long butcher knife was chasing me, and I was very pregnant. At the last minute I got away. Another time I dreamed that I was climbing an interminable flight of stairs into the sky, and a gang was trying to rape me, and I was very pregnant. At the last minute, I got away. This lasted for two months, every two or three nights, until my baby died a natural death. I have talked to many women, and they have told me that one of the things they have to live through is nightmares like these. It could be nightmares of hearing a baby crying and not being able to find the baby, and so forth. Lots of these women thought abortion was the answer for them. These nightmares can literally go on for years. I wouldn't want that for you, and it is entirely possible this is how you would react. I'll tell you why.
When a person feels pain, it causes the body to manufacture certain chemicals. You can tell the person is experiencing pain by testing for those chemicals. When a baby is conceived and implants in the uterus, he or she starts sending stem cells into the mother's blood stream. Some of them lodge near the breasts and help protect the mother from breast cancer (but if an abortion is done, then it makes a mother MORE prone to breast cancer than before). Some of them lodge in the brain. When an abortion is done, a baby feels much more excruciating pain than an older person would because the mechanisms for dampening pain aren't developed yet. And we know that the very young ones do feel pain because they REACT! Have you ever looked into the face of an aborted baby? Their face is screwed up in agony! Do you REALLY want to do that to your baby? When a baby is aborted or born, he or she releases many more stem cells. If those stem cells contain the pain chemical, and then lodge in your brain, you will KNOW on a subliminal level about the pain you caused your own child.
You may feel relief afterwards, and you may move on, but at some point, you will discover that either you have lost capacity for emotion, or suddenly something will happen that will cause all of this to rush into your consciousness. I call this being blindsided. It can be a chance comment from a friend, a movie, a medical textbook with pictures of embryos, or just about anything. At that point you are gravely at risk. On average, a woman is 8 times as likely to commit suicide after an abortion than if she carried to term. And I have sat through the night talking to women to keep them from committing suicide after an abortion. And some of these women were absolutely sure they wanted an abortion. One of them told me years later, "My abortion ruined my life!" There is truly NOTHING we can say that will give you anywhere near the guilt feelings that you are capable of giving yourself! And we're not trying. We're trying to help you protect yourself. If abortion were simply another medical procedure, we wouldn't be capable of causing you guilt, and you wouldn't feel guilt, either. But it's not. Your reaction sounds like a defense mechanism to me.
I would do anything to spare the women who come to me after abortion, the agony they feel because of their choice. It hurts me to the core to see them go through that.
There is one more thing you should think about. Many abortion facilities are filthy. I just saw a video of one. I was appalled. I knew they were bad, and that the health department has shut down many of them for this reason. But if you go into the facility where you have your appointment, pay close attention. If it doesn't look like it should, RUN out the door. Even if it looks fine, please be aware that in many abortion facilities, the autoclave is broken, or they do not sterilize instruments properly, or they reuse disposable instruments. They do this thing to you in five minutes, and they can't see what they are doing, not even enough to protect you from injury by looking at an ultrasound. They're careless. Many women have died. Many have suffered severe and permanent injury. You may think abortion is safe because that's what they tell you, but I get almost daily messages from women suffering serious complications, and they don't know what to do. Abortion is NOT safe. I want you to be safe. Please don't take this chance!
People sacrifice hours of their life to reach out to people like you. For you to say your response is PRIDE is a slap in the face. They aren't doing anything more than being very concerned about you. And they will offer you the kind of help you need. If you truly don't want your baby, please choose adoption. It is SO MUCH SAFER.
Take care. I will be praying for you, that God will touch your heart.
Hugs,
Pat
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