| Subject: Re: unplanned pregnancy |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 02/13/08 9:19pm
In reply to:
maria
's message, "unplanned pregnancy" on 02/13/08 4:12pm
Hi, Maria,
There are places where you can get help with your financial problems.
Where is West Sussex? In London? Actually, I decided to Google. You are in the southernmost part of England. There are ten centers near you, where you can get help. Go here: www.pregnancycenters.org/ You'll see a red "square" that says "find a center". Click on that. Then type in West Sussex, and select UK. I clicked on "pregnancy support and services." This will get you to the list. Good luck with this! You owe it to yourself and your family to learn about all your options.
You should seriously reconsider this. Abortion is dangerous, even when it's legal. It could seriously harm you, disable you, or even kill you. Then who would take care of your children? And what about the emotional and spiritual repercussions on you, your husband, and your other children? They can also be very serious. They can range anywhere from substance abuse to becoming suicidal. Also, it can destroy your marriage. And it can cause your children to feel serious insecurity. Even if they don't know the reasons, they will sense something is wrong. And it could affect your mothering abilities.
You may THINK you are safe because you are in England, but the truth about how dangerous it is there hasn't come out into the open yet. I have contacts there, so I know this for a fact.
I would never help a woman harm herself in that way. I wouldn't want that on my conscience. There was a time when a woman came to us, and she was absolutely certain she wanted to have an abortion. We tried to discourage it, but she went ahead. In the following year, she was suicidal several times. You don't know what scared is until you stay up all night talking to a woman trying to get her not to commit suicide! Two of us did this. We couldn't find any help; we just had to talk to her. This woman and I have kept in touch, and we're friends. About a year ago, she emailed me and said that she knew a woman at work, and this woman said she thought she was pregnant, and if she was, she was going to get an abortion. My friend then said, "PLEASE talk her out of it! My abortion ruined my life!" Now mind you, this woman faced serious problems. She was going to school, but she had morning sickness so bad she had to drop out. She hasn't been able to go back, because she has to pay her student loans first, but she can't make enough money to pay them. And she can't get her boyfriend to marry her. She has spent most of the time since then living with relatives she can't stand. So I'm simply NOT going to help any woman do something that drastic to herself.
If you feel you cannot afford your child, even with the help you can get, you can choose adoption. It is a good, though difficult choice. It's a lot safer for you.
They won't do an abortion on you this early. Medical abortions are also dangerous and kill women, and women usually have to submit to a situation that lasts several days, and at some point, they go into labor alone, and if there is a complication, they're on their own! I know a woman who got so sick from a medical abortion that her 6 year old had to take care of her. Most women who have medical abortions will never do it again. Surgical abortions aren't done until about the 8th week, and by then, the baby is completely formed. They don't do them earlier because they can't reliably find the baby. The complication rate from this is horrendous.
The fact is, our bodies were designed to protect our children, and the only way someone can do an abortion on us is to harm us in some way. The incidence of SERIOUS complications probably runs in the neighborhood of at least half the women who have abortions. This is because I have documentation that 1/3 of the women experience permanent damage to their reproductive system, and there are other complications besides this. Furthermore, an abortion can cause damage in a future child; for example, it can cause cerebral palsy. It can also greatly shorten a woman's life from cancer.
I hope you don't want to go there!
We will certainly be here to support you, help you, help you find answers to practical problems, and so forth. We love you all, and we will be here for you any time.
Hugs,
Pat
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