Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 03/13/07 10:45am
Adrienne,
I'm glad you came!
I just want to let you know that abortion tends to tear apart relationships. So if you want to marry the father, you would be wise to keep your baby. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby! Maybe you two should go ahead and get married! ;)
Lots of times a man really resents it when he wants the baby and she doesn't, but he feels he cannot say anything because he has no legal authority to stop an abortion, so he'll just sort of abdicate and say he supports you. It's hard to find out what they think in that situation, but the fact he wants him or her means that deep down inside there will be trouble if you harm the baby your love made. It is unusual for the father to be that supportive of having a child that early, especially because you aren't married yet.
By now, your baby has eyes and fingers, and has had a heartbeat and brain waves for some time.
Having two children close together is actually helpful, because they tend to entertain each other, and at that spacing, they tend to be very close. We had two children, and then adopted another, and the two youngest were about two years apart. When we put the younger in the room with the older of the two, she would climb into his crib at night and put her arm around him, and they'd sleep that way. He is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. I'm sure all that early love from a sibling was very helpful. When we adopted another one, our older adopted one was still breastfeeding, and he would come and ask for milk, and right afterward, before I had a chance to make more, the younger one would ask. He had some kind of abnormality (which we later cured through a natural diet), and he was diagnosed with failure to thrive. When the older one turned two, I told him, "your brother is having difficulty growing. You are getting my milk, and when he comes, I haven't had a chance to make more yet. So would you be willing to stop nursing?" And you know, from that day forward, he never asked again!
We have a total of seven children, and they are VERY supportive of each other. In fact, they often live together to save money, including the married ones. I have lost count of how many different ways they have done this over the years. Homeschooling them made a tremendous difference, by the way.
The oldest one is about five years older than the next one, and he grew up as a only child for awhile, and I think that was somewhat detrimental, although we all survived. :) But he is less social than the others. I grew up as an only child until I was six, and I was so lonely. I wanted a sibling so bad!
You have your baby things, so it won't be real expensive. If you breastfeed, that will simplify things tremendously. You don't have to buy fancy equipment. Wear your baby on your body with a sling. It will be easier and much better for the baby, and you will have your hands free. I always took the youngest one with me.
If you have some kind of practical problems, please let us know so we can help you find answers.
We'll hope for the best with your situation. Please let us know what happens. We're here for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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