Re: guilt and regret -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Friday, April 26, 7:51:15

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Subject: Re: guilt and regret

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 04/ 8/07 9:10pm
In reply to: jaye 's message, "guilt and regret" on 04/ 6/07 12:01pm

Hi Jaye,

I noticed you said you lived in the Caribbean and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of crisis pregnancy centers that can offer post abortion counseling. I'm really sorry to hear that; it seems to me that if a town offers abortions they should also offer post abortion counseling because you're certainly not alone in needing it.

The internet can be a huge help. Of course you're always welcome here and I'm glad you found this site. Many of the women who post here have experienced an abortion and found feelings like yours afterwards. Another excellent website you can visit and hopefully experience some healing through is afterabortion.com

I know it doesn't minimize the pain and sadness you're experiencing over the loss of your baby's life, but for what it's worth I think you have a leg up on recovery and healing in that you're able to acknowledge that you have guilt and regrets. Please know that you CAN talk to God, Jaye. If you have asked His forgiveness, the next step is believing in faith that He keeps His promises. One of His promises is found in 1 John 1:9 of the Bible. It says:

"If you confess your sins, I will forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

There are no conditions attached. God is just and holy, but thankfully through Christ He is also tender and merciful, quick to forgive to those who seek it.

It sounds as though you have. I see nothing in your post at least that indicates excuses or resentment, etc. You seem quite broken and contrite. The Bible also says: "A broken and contrite heart the Lord will not despise."

So if you have asked His forgiveness, please know that you are forgiven. You can express gratitude to Him by the future choices you make in your life, but you don't need these to 'earn' His forgiveness.

Having said that, I know that experiencing forgiveness won't take away some of the regret and loneliness. My thoughts and prayers are with you through that journey.

With Kindness,

Heather

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: guilt and regret

Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 04/ 9/07 12:23pm

I just couldn't believe The Caribbean didn't offer post-abortion counseling. So, I did an online search and came up empty-handed. The only sites I could find portrayed abortion as a good thing, showing women with smiling faces. Planned Parenthood is there--why aren't Pregnancy Resource Centers? Very sad, indeed!

Jaye, please feel free to post here as often as you like. And many women here provide their email addresses, in case you want to talk one-on-one.

The advice Heather gave is the best advice out there; turn to God. If you've asked His forgiveness, you've been forgiven. Being forgiven by God should give you some strength to deal with your grief.

You're doing the right things. You're remorseful and are reaching out for help. I'm praying for your healing.

Take care,

Shellie

[> [> Subject: Re: guilt and regret

Author:
jaye (hope)
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Date Posted: 04/ 9/07 2:52pm

Hi Shellie and Heather,

Thanks for your warm, love and support, it truly means a lot to me. I have begun the healing process after much talk with the father he made me to understand given the circumstances I made the choice. He really tried to get me to keep the pregnacy but I was just scared.

I am convinced this was one experience I don't ever want to face again. I began going to church once more so that's one step. The lessons learnt is just to make me grow and it's ok to have regrets but at least I have my life back.
Thanks again Jaye.

[> [> Subject: Re: guilt and regret

Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 04/11/07 6:20pm

Hi Jaye,

It was good to read your last post; I'm glad you feel you have your life back. And if the sadness had been instrumental in returning you to church I'd say that's a significant blessing, too.

God is kind. If grace was deserved it wouldn't be amazing, would it? I hope from here you're able to further heal and grasp how beloved you are to the One who made you and me. I've been on the receiving end of a lot of grace, too, and it makes the scripture resonate with me: "It's his kindness that leads to repentance."

I agree with Shellie that you're well on the right track to healing. I'm sorry for the cause of your pain. I, too, find it very wrong that there are no abortion alternatives presented to women in crisis pregnancies where you live. Maybe we'll have to see about getting one over there!

With Kindness,

Heather