| Subject: Re: please help me! |
Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 05/ 7/07 10:06pm
In reply to:
lauren
's message, "please help me!" on 05/ 5/07 5:50pm
Hi Taryn,
What great news about Julliard postponing your scholarship! I do believe society is coming around some to help women with unplanned pregnancies. The entire tone and encouragement of where you're at was really a joy to read. God is good, despite what circumstances look like sometimes!
Lauren,
Welcome, and I'm so sorry for your turmoil. If it helps, you're most definitely not alone, and the feelings of panic you're having are not unusual, either.
I'm all for applying measured steps in emotional situation. How about starting at step one and finding out if you're pregnant? If the date of possible conception was a week ago then in just another few days you're good to take a home pregnancy test. These are pretty reliable. You can find one at virtually any grocery store or you can go to your local Crisis Pregnancy Center and a nurse will give you one there for free. They have all free services, and some of them like the crisis counseling you might really benefit from. It's all confidential, too.
Next step, if you're not pregnant, take whatever God might be showing you from this event and seek wisdom on your sexuality. It's a gift, not to be shared with anyone, best designed to be given only to the man who is willing to take your hand in marriage.
If you are pregnant, don't panic! Easier said than done, I know. It's definitely a life changing event. But I can promise you that you won't lose everything, even if it seems that way right now.
Pat's right, the chances of your parents finding out you were pregnant if you have an abortion are pretty good anyway. Abortion is not a small procedure at all. It's a pretty major surgery that comes with side effects and a recovery period that would not be easy or safe to hide from your parents.
But more importantly, regardless of how you think your parent will respond, I can tell you that they love you more than you think and might surprise you. Sure they'll be disappointed. It's reasonable that they would be. Their daughter giving up her sexuality to a young man who says he's worthy of it is nothing any parent would be 'happy' about when they love their daughter and want the best for her.
So it's fair to let them be disappointed because of their love for you. But that same love is what moves parents past their disappointment and on to support for you, if you decide to honor the life of the new human being inside you. Their disappointment will wear off and they will care primarily about your well-being. And I've never yet heard a new grandparent say, when seeing their grandchild for the first time, 'end his/her life, they shouldn't be here, they're a mistake!"
Life is a tapestry of all kinds of unplanned things. Pregnancies are only one of many. I don't say that thinking it will make your very understandable feelings go away, just to give you some perspective and hope. You're not alone!
So take the test first and see if you're even pregnant. If you are, I would strongly recommend pursuing either adoption or keeping the baby yourself. Despite the vague terms used to describe it by some, abortion is truly taking the life of an other human being. There's just no way around that. And that reality often sinks in for women AFTER the fact and the permanence of that lost human life is a very difficult grief to bear. So many women seek an abortion thinking (or being told) it will 'fix' a problem but find it leaves a much bigger one instead.
You do have choices! And lots and lots of resources to help you out if you are pregnant. Come back and let us know the results of your test and if you are pregnant, we'll get started helping you connect with them.
With Kindness,
Heather
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