| Subject: Re: Help PLEASE! |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 07/12/07 3:35am
In reply to:
Lacey
's message, "Help PLEASE!" on 07/11/07 6:21pm
Hi, Lacey,
You say your parents are supportive but want you to abort. What kind of support is that?
You said "I don't want to kill a baby either." What kind of grandparents want you to kill your own baby?
If you are terrified of abortion, you have some good instincts. If you don't want an abortion, don't have one!
Abortion is dangerous, and could have such a bad impact on you emotionally it could seriously compromise your future, and your ability to live with yourself.
It makes sense to me that you don't want a baby right now. But you do have one, and your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby!
Adoption is a decision best made much later. I don't know if you can choose adoption, and it's too early to ask. Will your boyfriend assume the responsibility of making sure you both are provided for? If not, or if he feels he cannot, then it is really up to you. But it's too early to make that decision, though you are free to think about it if this is a possibility. Is there any possibility you two will commit to each other in the long term? You already live together, so the two of you can take turns taking care of the baby, and going to class. By the time your baby is born, your boyfriend won't have that much schooling left ahead of him. When we got married and then had our first child, my husband still had several years of schooling ahead of him. He was able to get student loans and grants, and we got some money from his folks. When our child was born, I went to school for a semester, and decided I wanted to wait awhile to complete my degree for several reasons. By the time I went back to school and then got my degree, we had four children, three of them preschoolers. To begin with, we put our oldest child in daycare just a few hours a week so I could go to class. When we had more, my husband took care of the children part of the time. Except for when I was in class, I was home with them. Nowadays, you have even more options than I did, because you can take classes online, on the internet. I didn't have that choice, because it was before the internet existed. Hey, if I can do it, you can, too! It will be a challenge, but a good one.
You have plenty of time to decide what to do; don't just go through with this without thinking it through very carefully. Abortion is forever; you can't take it back. You already know what it means: killing your baby. Do you think you can live with yourself, knowing you did this? There are always other ways. Go to a crisis pregnancy agency, and let them know what your needs are. They will help you. Will your parents accept it if you decide against abortion? If they give you grief, it probably won't last. Most parents come to accept and love their grandchildren. We had one grandchild who was born to our son, who isn't married to the boy's mother. We love him dearly, and I am SO glad they had him! Give your parents a chance. If they hassle you, tell them you have made your decision. If you are so uncertain of wanting to go through with an abortion, then you shouldn't have one. You should only have one if you are absolutely sure this is what you want, and the more you know about it, the happier you will be with your decision. Spend the next few days learning all you can. If you break your appointment, don't feel bad for the abortionist. He is willing to harm you both.
We will be here anytime you need to talk, and we can help you find resources.
Hugs,
Pat
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Lacey, we are here for you!!!!